I attended my annual silent retreat this past weekend, and have a new list of graces to ask God for (as encouraged by Fr. Anthony Sortino, L.C.). I want to share them so that you may use them to build your relationship with Christ. It's good to be reminded that they exist, and are there for the asking...
Don't leave your presents unopened - they are graces every one.
And you need them as long as you have a room down here.
Upstairs is a Holy Place, lit up by His Holy Face.
And there are unopened presents lying all around.
But all of the people who need those gifts are not Upstairs, they are down.
Seek, and you will not be disappointed.
Knock, and the door will be opened.
Ask, and you shall receive.
Your graces are lying in wait, beautifully wrapped where you can't see them.
So, look up and ask for what is yours, because they're still there, and you still need them.
September 2010
Ask for the grace of...
~The gift of deeper union with Christ.
~To know how He loves.
~To know how He loves YOU.
~To feel thirst for love, to be drawn to God.
~To believe in the promise of love that He has made us. To reject any insecurity, mistrust, fear, inadequacy. "We make our stand with our Lord!"
~To shed expectation. To acknowledge your God-given desires, and give what you have. Let God delight in perfecting you. Vacillate between desire and surrender.
~The grace to accept sufferings with joy.
~To love God SO much that we embrace the purification He allows.
~Greater trust and surrender.
~Surrender, detachment, forgiveness.
~The grace to suffer with Jesus.
~To trust in God's promises. To trust in the ONE who makes the promises.
~To learn, accept, and love yourself as one who is given a new name - a name which tells who you are, in God's eyes.
Dear Eternal Father, Thank you for Your graces! Thank you for drawing near to us, when we draw near to You (James 4:8). You gave us free will. I offer it back to You, and ask You not to allow me to forget You, nor forget to ask for Your grace in all circumstances. I want to be who You intended before I drew my first breath. I want to live up to my new name, accept it, and see myself as You see me. Thank you for all that was, is, and is to come. Amen.
Showing posts with label Asking for God's grace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Asking for God's grace. Show all posts
Friday, February 28, 2014
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
A Good Paintbrush
Trusting The Great Artist is an idea that keeps resurfacing in my readings, and most recently at the Morning of Reflection on Friday. It reminded me of a journal entry I wrote about being a "good paintbrush," a few months back. (It's funny to me that most everything I write makes its way from my little green journal to you, eventually.)
Anyway, God must think we're pretty awesome. We get to do, and be, everything that God uses in our transformation! It's fascinating to me that we are both the canvas on which God, The Great Artist, creates His masterpiece, and the paintbrush He uses to make it. We are the tool, the medium, and the finished product. Our job as tool and medium is the same. To respond.
September 18, 2013
Help me to be a good paintbrush, Lord. Content to be in Your Hand for as long as You deem necessary. Help me to remain docile and content, to paint only the picture You have in mind. For I know paintbrushes don't have eyes, with which to see what the Great Artist intends.
Just as no one thinks "of praising the quality of the brush an artist used when you look at his painting, but instead admire his skill in using it," help me be deaf to the praise of others, for it is praise of You alone.
Help me to be blind and deaf to everything but You, and to rest comfortably in Your hand, or wherever You set me down.
A paintbrush has no life of its own. Help me to be a good paintbrush - One who doesn't fall into the trap of trying to be "powerful, relevant, and spectacular" (Henry Nouwen). Amen.
Anyway, God must think we're pretty awesome. We get to do, and be, everything that God uses in our transformation! It's fascinating to me that we are both the canvas on which God, The Great Artist, creates His masterpiece, and the paintbrush He uses to make it. We are the tool, the medium, and the finished product. Our job as tool and medium is the same. To respond.
September 18, 2013
Help me to be a good paintbrush, Lord. Content to be in Your Hand for as long as You deem necessary. Help me to remain docile and content, to paint only the picture You have in mind. For I know paintbrushes don't have eyes, with which to see what the Great Artist intends.
Just as no one thinks "of praising the quality of the brush an artist used when you look at his painting, but instead admire his skill in using it," help me be deaf to the praise of others, for it is praise of You alone.
Help me to be blind and deaf to everything but You, and to rest comfortably in Your hand, or wherever You set me down.
A paintbrush has no life of its own. Help me to be a good paintbrush - One who doesn't fall into the trap of trying to be "powerful, relevant, and spectacular" (Henry Nouwen). Amen.
Monday, March 11, 2013
A Peek Into Rehab
Someone I know and love is in Rehab. My family went to visit her yesterday for the first time since she checked in 22 days ago.
Second only to every Walmart experience I've ever had, I have never been around so many people who were visibly struggling with their flesh for their soul.
I am reminded how important family and people are to one fully engaged in this very real battle - That we "belong to each other", as Mother Teresa says. I am reminded that we are all engaged in this same battle, only some are winning and some are losing. I am reminded of the need for our intercession in prayer. These people cannot get themselves out, by prayer, or any other means. They need the "body of Christ" in a very real, and tangible way.
Yesterday, I experienced the lack of hope that the world gives. My "person" was telling me about the people who have been discharged, only to come back in two day's time. They are putting their hope in themselves, and "themselves" are not capable of coming through. She was telling me about a boy who was sitting close by, who had to have "skin checks" every day, because he makes continued attempts on his life by cutting himself. I would never have known by looking. All I saw was a boy with hair in his eyes, surrounded by people who clearly loved him. I was reminded that you cannot presume anything about anyone, especially by looking.
As I learned yesterday, the first step in a 12-step program is admitting that your life is out of control and that you are powerless over it. Secondly, that there is a higher power - something bigger, greater, and more powerful than you.
It is scary for me, even for a few moments, to think as if I were the biggest, greatest, and most powerful force in my life. I can see how the daily pressure would be too great, and can imagine the temptation to succumb to the unremitting appeal for an essential, life-preserving escape. This is exactly what God is telling us when He says that we are strong in our weakness.
"'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
If we know we need God above all, and are subject to Him above all, all will be well. Only then, can our relationships be properly ordered, and we can take our proper place, in humility.
When I used to work with the poor with the St. Vincent de Paul Society, I heard a great analogy: Imagine you have a garage full of boxes and stuff that has accumulated for years. You want to clean it out, but there is no obvious starting point. You feel so overwhelmed by the big, seamless mess, that the best (most peaceful) course of action seems to leave it, as is.
When one lives a life of poverty, or addiction, their whole life feels like that. It is not just one room in a house. These people need us.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for a car that works to bring us to those in need. Thank you for the beauty of your Creation. Thank you for the privilege to participate in another person's life. Thank you for family, and for those people who give us glimpses of your unconditional love. Lord, thank you for being a God of order, and for putting us directly under Yourself in that order.
Lord, I beg you to draw near to those who live on the edge of despair, the sin against hope. Lord, please comfort them, and grant them the grace of wisdom - to know where to begin to sort through the years of accumulated mess. Please grant them the grace to forgive those by whom they have felt betrayed or abandoned, and to look only to You for fulfillment.
Please grant those of us You have sustained with your grace, an extra dose of compassion for those who need our intercession. Help us to take seriously our responsibility to pray and ask graces for those in need, especially because they are incapable themselves. Help us to extend the mercy we have been granted. Amen.
Second only to every Walmart experience I've ever had, I have never been around so many people who were visibly struggling with their flesh for their soul.
I am reminded how important family and people are to one fully engaged in this very real battle - That we "belong to each other", as Mother Teresa says. I am reminded that we are all engaged in this same battle, only some are winning and some are losing. I am reminded of the need for our intercession in prayer. These people cannot get themselves out, by prayer, or any other means. They need the "body of Christ" in a very real, and tangible way.
Yesterday, I experienced the lack of hope that the world gives. My "person" was telling me about the people who have been discharged, only to come back in two day's time. They are putting their hope in themselves, and "themselves" are not capable of coming through. She was telling me about a boy who was sitting close by, who had to have "skin checks" every day, because he makes continued attempts on his life by cutting himself. I would never have known by looking. All I saw was a boy with hair in his eyes, surrounded by people who clearly loved him. I was reminded that you cannot presume anything about anyone, especially by looking.
As I learned yesterday, the first step in a 12-step program is admitting that your life is out of control and that you are powerless over it. Secondly, that there is a higher power - something bigger, greater, and more powerful than you.
It is scary for me, even for a few moments, to think as if I were the biggest, greatest, and most powerful force in my life. I can see how the daily pressure would be too great, and can imagine the temptation to succumb to the unremitting appeal for an essential, life-preserving escape. This is exactly what God is telling us when He says that we are strong in our weakness.
"'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
If we know we need God above all, and are subject to Him above all, all will be well. Only then, can our relationships be properly ordered, and we can take our proper place, in humility.
When I used to work with the poor with the St. Vincent de Paul Society, I heard a great analogy: Imagine you have a garage full of boxes and stuff that has accumulated for years. You want to clean it out, but there is no obvious starting point. You feel so overwhelmed by the big, seamless mess, that the best (most peaceful) course of action seems to leave it, as is.
When one lives a life of poverty, or addiction, their whole life feels like that. It is not just one room in a house. These people need us.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for a car that works to bring us to those in need. Thank you for the beauty of your Creation. Thank you for the privilege to participate in another person's life. Thank you for family, and for those people who give us glimpses of your unconditional love. Lord, thank you for being a God of order, and for putting us directly under Yourself in that order.
Lord, I beg you to draw near to those who live on the edge of despair, the sin against hope. Lord, please comfort them, and grant them the grace of wisdom - to know where to begin to sort through the years of accumulated mess. Please grant them the grace to forgive those by whom they have felt betrayed or abandoned, and to look only to You for fulfillment.
Please grant those of us You have sustained with your grace, an extra dose of compassion for those who need our intercession. Help us to take seriously our responsibility to pray and ask graces for those in need, especially because they are incapable themselves. Help us to extend the mercy we have been granted. Amen.
Monday, February 25, 2013
15 Graces To Pray For
Today is my first day back after a 3-day silent retreat to participate in the Ignatian spiritual exercises. I have so much I want to share with you, but know I have to pick and choose the things that are good for you. Before I get carried away, let me very seriously encourage you to make one of these retreats in your lifetime. The sooner, the better. The more often, the better.
You cannot return the same after spending a weekend conversing with Jesus Christ.
These retreats come around twice a year in these parts. Next year, mine will be February 13 - 16 in Castroville, TX. Put it on your calendar if you live less than two states away!
I attended this same retreat last year and it was the impetus for starting this blog. If you haven't read my very first few posts, it will give you the necessary background for understanding my motivation every time I write. In a nutshell, last year I was completely convicted of God's love for me, and the pain it causes Him when we fail to trust Him. I felt very compelled to do something to love Him back, and encourage others to do the same.
This year, I was reminded of His love for me (my conviction from last year remains), His generosity, His patience, and His mercy. I had many personal lights and wrote my program of life, which is basically a plan that identifies the major area of sin in your life, how it manifests itself, the opposing virtue, and specific measures to practice that virtue.
It is very personal, and every person's looks different. I am not opposed to sharing mine with you, but am going to wait for that inspiration, as I'm not yet sure if it would be helpful to you.
However, I know something that will be helpful to you. For each of the 15 meditations, we were encouraged to ask for a specific fruit or grace. I want to invite you to ask for the same graces and encourage you to incorporate them into your prayer life.
In Apostolate for Holy Motherhood, Christ says, "Ask of Me all that is good for thee spiritually, and it will be granted thee..."
Lord, please grant me the grace...
1.) Of detachment of all that is not You nor leads me to You.
2.) To seek You alone.
3.) To know the malice of sin, so I may despise it in my own life.
4.) To be ready for death at any moment.
5.) To be a disciple that is called to Christ's right hand at the final judgment.
6.) To be meek and humble of heart.
7.) To imitate You in simplicity.
8.) For a deeper desire to follow You.
9.) For the grace to experience the depth of the Mass.
10.) To know You as a person.
11.) To accompany You in Your suffering.
12.) To be as faithful a friend to You as You are to me.
13.) To ardently desire Heaven.
14.) To be an apostle, who with You, can do all things.
15.) To use well the gifts You have given me, especially my intelligence and free will.
Thank you for hearing me. I love You. Make me love You more and more. Amen.
You cannot return the same after spending a weekend conversing with Jesus Christ.
These retreats come around twice a year in these parts. Next year, mine will be February 13 - 16 in Castroville, TX. Put it on your calendar if you live less than two states away!
I attended this same retreat last year and it was the impetus for starting this blog. If you haven't read my very first few posts, it will give you the necessary background for understanding my motivation every time I write. In a nutshell, last year I was completely convicted of God's love for me, and the pain it causes Him when we fail to trust Him. I felt very compelled to do something to love Him back, and encourage others to do the same.
This year, I was reminded of His love for me (my conviction from last year remains), His generosity, His patience, and His mercy. I had many personal lights and wrote my program of life, which is basically a plan that identifies the major area of sin in your life, how it manifests itself, the opposing virtue, and specific measures to practice that virtue.
It is very personal, and every person's looks different. I am not opposed to sharing mine with you, but am going to wait for that inspiration, as I'm not yet sure if it would be helpful to you.
However, I know something that will be helpful to you. For each of the 15 meditations, we were encouraged to ask for a specific fruit or grace. I want to invite you to ask for the same graces and encourage you to incorporate them into your prayer life.
In Apostolate for Holy Motherhood, Christ says, "Ask of Me all that is good for thee spiritually, and it will be granted thee..."
Lord, please grant me the grace...
1.) Of detachment of all that is not You nor leads me to You.
2.) To seek You alone.
3.) To know the malice of sin, so I may despise it in my own life.
4.) To be ready for death at any moment.
5.) To be a disciple that is called to Christ's right hand at the final judgment.
6.) To be meek and humble of heart.
7.) To imitate You in simplicity.
8.) For a deeper desire to follow You.
9.) For the grace to experience the depth of the Mass.
10.) To know You as a person.
11.) To accompany You in Your suffering.
12.) To be as faithful a friend to You as You are to me.
13.) To ardently desire Heaven.
14.) To be an apostle, who with You, can do all things.
15.) To use well the gifts You have given me, especially my intelligence and free will.
Thank you for hearing me. I love You. Make me love You more and more. Amen.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
The Stuff of Life
A lot of things have been rolling around in my head lately. I planned to post something on Friday, but after learning of the tragedy in Newtown, CT, nothing seemed important anymore. The dead and their families are looming large in my mind, and yet, I shush my own children to watch the news...
However, as we celebrate this third Sunday of Advent, we are called to be a people of joy. A people of hope. A living people. A people who believe that God can and will redeem all things. I will continue to pray for those who died and their families who are left behind. I will also continue to live as a person who believes that Jesus is near, and live my life accordingly.
At the risk of seeming imprudent, I am going to go ahead with what I was going to write on Friday. Mostly, because I have the time and I would like to clear my head. None of it really matters, in the face of this or any tragedy, but it is still the stuff of life~
Before Friday, I was reveling in a small victory. I showed up empty-handed to a cookie exchange.
So?!
It was a victory because I spent a good part of the day making, rolling out, and cutting sugar cookies, so I could participate and feel good about the effort I had made to do so. However, I only had 30 minutes after dinner to decorate 6 dozen cookies and three boys (7 and under) on my decorating team. Snowman heads were falling off, stars were breaking, and the icing knives were being licked in between jobs. I was starting to lose my cool (rapidly!) and knew something had to give. After a brief inspiration from the Holy Spirit, I decided that allowing my kids to enjoy the cookie decorating was way more important than showing up somewhere else with a plate of pretty cookies, so I left them at home. What my vanity suffered was more than made up for by my children's joy. I'm just sorry I robbed them of it in the first place.
Prior to that, I have been musing on the irony of Christmas. I was given a little Christmas money with the stipulation that I had to spend it on myself. Combine that with the "What do you want for Christmas?" question, and I am suddenly more self-centered than I've been all year! How do you like that for timing?! Goodness! God bless my three-year-old who got to join in on the adventure of deciding what I wanted and then trying to find it!
My first thought was that I would spend my money on some of those tall boots that everyone is wearing these days, since I'm usually struck by how nice they look when I see them. However, it hadn't really occurred to me that if you can see someone's very tall boots, they are probably wearing skinny jeans! This is not a jump I am willing to make. I'm pretty sure I would feel like a "showcase", drawing way too much attention to myself, and yet, everyone else seems to pull it off just fine. Do you think we could just reverse the trend to regular jeans and loafers, please? That way, I wouldn't feel like a frumpy prude and we could all be friends. :) Scripture says we are not supposed to worry about what to wear, so I'm leaving my fashion dilemmas here.
On a separate note, I found an old-school book at the St. Vincent de Paul store yesterday: A Woman In Her Home by Ella May Miller. There's a lady standing on the front wearing an apron, holding a tray of something delectable for her family to consume. I feel good about the price - It originally cost $.95 and I got it for a quarter. These kinds of books make me smile and I usually glean something, besides. I'm 2/3 of the way through and here is the high point so far, "To be a mother is difficult and dangerous, but no one else can replace her. Will women never see how important they are? Their power of doing good and doing harm is beyond measure, and it is done in private where no one can stop them, but themselves." - Dr. John Bowlby, Ladies' Home Journal, November 1958
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the gift of life. Please comfort those who are left behind with empty arms and unanswered questions. Please give them the grace of Your peace. You and Mary know the pain of watching Your own Son suffer and die, please help them have recourse to You. Thank you for Advent. Thank you for giving us a reason for joy and hope. Thank you for the stuff of life and for Your Presence throughout it all. Please help us, those who believe in You, be a beacon of light, hope, and peace for those who need it. Jesus, I trust in You. Amen.
However, as we celebrate this third Sunday of Advent, we are called to be a people of joy. A people of hope. A living people. A people who believe that God can and will redeem all things. I will continue to pray for those who died and their families who are left behind. I will also continue to live as a person who believes that Jesus is near, and live my life accordingly.
At the risk of seeming imprudent, I am going to go ahead with what I was going to write on Friday. Mostly, because I have the time and I would like to clear my head. None of it really matters, in the face of this or any tragedy, but it is still the stuff of life~
Before Friday, I was reveling in a small victory. I showed up empty-handed to a cookie exchange.
So?!
It was a victory because I spent a good part of the day making, rolling out, and cutting sugar cookies, so I could participate and feel good about the effort I had made to do so. However, I only had 30 minutes after dinner to decorate 6 dozen cookies and three boys (7 and under) on my decorating team. Snowman heads were falling off, stars were breaking, and the icing knives were being licked in between jobs. I was starting to lose my cool (rapidly!) and knew something had to give. After a brief inspiration from the Holy Spirit, I decided that allowing my kids to enjoy the cookie decorating was way more important than showing up somewhere else with a plate of pretty cookies, so I left them at home. What my vanity suffered was more than made up for by my children's joy. I'm just sorry I robbed them of it in the first place.
Prior to that, I have been musing on the irony of Christmas. I was given a little Christmas money with the stipulation that I had to spend it on myself. Combine that with the "What do you want for Christmas?" question, and I am suddenly more self-centered than I've been all year! How do you like that for timing?! Goodness! God bless my three-year-old who got to join in on the adventure of deciding what I wanted and then trying to find it!
My first thought was that I would spend my money on some of those tall boots that everyone is wearing these days, since I'm usually struck by how nice they look when I see them. However, it hadn't really occurred to me that if you can see someone's very tall boots, they are probably wearing skinny jeans! This is not a jump I am willing to make. I'm pretty sure I would feel like a "showcase", drawing way too much attention to myself, and yet, everyone else seems to pull it off just fine. Do you think we could just reverse the trend to regular jeans and loafers, please? That way, I wouldn't feel like a frumpy prude and we could all be friends. :) Scripture says we are not supposed to worry about what to wear, so I'm leaving my fashion dilemmas here.
On a separate note, I found an old-school book at the St. Vincent de Paul store yesterday: A Woman In Her Home by Ella May Miller. There's a lady standing on the front wearing an apron, holding a tray of something delectable for her family to consume. I feel good about the price - It originally cost $.95 and I got it for a quarter. These kinds of books make me smile and I usually glean something, besides. I'm 2/3 of the way through and here is the high point so far, "To be a mother is difficult and dangerous, but no one else can replace her. Will women never see how important they are? Their power of doing good and doing harm is beyond measure, and it is done in private where no one can stop them, but themselves." - Dr. John Bowlby, Ladies' Home Journal, November 1958
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the gift of life. Please comfort those who are left behind with empty arms and unanswered questions. Please give them the grace of Your peace. You and Mary know the pain of watching Your own Son suffer and die, please help them have recourse to You. Thank you for Advent. Thank you for giving us a reason for joy and hope. Thank you for the stuff of life and for Your Presence throughout it all. Please help us, those who believe in You, be a beacon of light, hope, and peace for those who need it. Jesus, I trust in You. Amen.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Beginning Again
I am beginning again, today. Since returning from vacation last week, I seem to have knocked over my parenting toolbox, and I can't find any of my tools! I run out of patience an hour before the kids go to bed and I yell over things that I'm sure I have handled better at other times in my life - messy rooms, boys who hit each other and call names, laziness, bad attitudes, etc... And, exercise has been non-existent, which may be directly correlated to the patience issue.
So, I am beginning again, today. I "unfroze" my gym membership this morning and got my first good workout in over a month. The consistent and motivated swimming that I started the summer with slowly ebbed away, as my boys kept hijacking my lap lane and requesting rides back and forth. I love being with them at the pool, so I always said Yes, which is not conducive to gaining or maintaining any momentum. So, I stopped.
I will try to remember at the beginning of next summer that the last thing I should do is stop working out when my kids get out of school! Duh.
I have been trying to read Confessions by St. Augustine, but it seems so far from this summer-at-home-with-the-kids-place I'm in. It was going great for a while, but I think I'll try again during Lent. So, instead, I started reading another parenting book that I couldn't pass up for $1 at Half-Price Books, Parenting Your Child by the Spirit by Sally Hohnberger. I'm hoping this is the equivalent of exercising my parenting with God muscles. I know I've been more reactive than proactive and have not been as Christ-centered with my parenting as I should, so I am beginning again, today.
I am going to make a list of the traits in each of my children that are not godly and what the opposite virtues are. Then, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I am going to make a list of what their behavior would look like if the "weeds" were pulled out. This will help me focus on replacing unwanted behavior with something better, not just eradicating it. I realize that so much of their behavior is based on my own, so I am going to make a concerted effort to talk to God before I talk to my children, so they may guess correctly whose team I'm on - God's team. I am beginning again, today.
Dear God, thank you for my children and for gym memberships. Thank you for being our Father and for giving us detailed instructions on childrearing in Your Word. Thank you for so many chances to begin again. Please help me be the mother to my boys that You intended, so that they may reach their full potential in You. Please bless all parents with wisdom, patience and kindness for their children, as our love is supposed to reflect Your love. Amen.
So, I am beginning again, today. I "unfroze" my gym membership this morning and got my first good workout in over a month. The consistent and motivated swimming that I started the summer with slowly ebbed away, as my boys kept hijacking my lap lane and requesting rides back and forth. I love being with them at the pool, so I always said Yes, which is not conducive to gaining or maintaining any momentum. So, I stopped.
I will try to remember at the beginning of next summer that the last thing I should do is stop working out when my kids get out of school! Duh.
I have been trying to read Confessions by St. Augustine, but it seems so far from this summer-at-home-with-the-kids-place I'm in. It was going great for a while, but I think I'll try again during Lent. So, instead, I started reading another parenting book that I couldn't pass up for $1 at Half-Price Books, Parenting Your Child by the Spirit by Sally Hohnberger. I'm hoping this is the equivalent of exercising my parenting with God muscles. I know I've been more reactive than proactive and have not been as Christ-centered with my parenting as I should, so I am beginning again, today.
I am going to make a list of the traits in each of my children that are not godly and what the opposite virtues are. Then, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I am going to make a list of what their behavior would look like if the "weeds" were pulled out. This will help me focus on replacing unwanted behavior with something better, not just eradicating it. I realize that so much of their behavior is based on my own, so I am going to make a concerted effort to talk to God before I talk to my children, so they may guess correctly whose team I'm on - God's team. I am beginning again, today.
Dear God, thank you for my children and for gym memberships. Thank you for being our Father and for giving us detailed instructions on childrearing in Your Word. Thank you for so many chances to begin again. Please help me be the mother to my boys that You intended, so that they may reach their full potential in You. Please bless all parents with wisdom, patience and kindness for their children, as our love is supposed to reflect Your love. Amen.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Perspective Gained at a First Grade Lunch Table
Yesterday, I attended the last field trip of the year with my oldest son - a fun time at Central Park with volleyball, bubbles, water balloons, tug-of-war, popsicles, and lunch.
During lunch, I asked the first graders sitting around me what they were going to do this summer. The conversation quickly turned from what they were going to do (because they didn't know), to who they were going to be with or without.
Little girl R said her Dad was going to pick her up on the last day of school, because he wanted her for one month, since her Mom gets her more than her Dad.
Little boy C, sitting next to her, said he never gets to see his real Dad because he moved far away and his mom lost track of him. When I told him "I bet your Dad misses you", he looked at me and said, "He's only called me once." Ugh.
Little girl D across the table said her Mom is supposed to get out of jail this summer. She asks if you won't tell anybody then tells you her Mom is in jail for "doing with drugs."
Next to her, sat Little J. He lives with his grandparents because his Mom is on drugs and his Dad is in jail. He's a great kid. Thank God for grandparents who pack his lunch, take him to Tae Kwon Do, and love him in all of the little ways kids need to be loved.
As the weight of our lunch conversations settled in on the drive home, I realized how blessed my children are to live in a home where things are as they should be. Nothing exceptional, just life as God intended it - with parents who love Him, each other, and their kids.
I generally think of this as a "given". I don't typically think I am blessing my sons just by showing up and being present. But, today I am reminded that just showing up can be a blessing. Not only to my kids, but to those kids who desperately need someone to look at, see, and listen to them.
Later that afternoon, I attended my kindergartner's year end party. The little boy I was sitting next to didn't have any pictures of his family during the slide show, because his parents are in CPS custody and he lives with his grandma, but she works. Another little boy pointed to the picture of his family and said "See that guy standing by me? He's dead." His Dad was killed a few weeks before when hit by a car on the side of a road.
My own father suffered horribly at the hands of his parents. With God's grace, he broke the cycle of addiction and abuse and has been nothing to his children, but a positive force - a pillar of strength and unconditional love. None of his children or grandchildren will ever see the ugliness and selfishness that would have been their inheritance without God's grace and his docility to the Holy Spirit.
In Apostolate for Holy Motherhood, the Blessed Mother says, "Be kind to your children. This is of the utmost importance. They need your undivided attention when they are small...Your children are your jewels, your wealth; guard them as the treasures which they are."
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the opportunity to join my son's First grade class for lunch today and my Kindergartner's year end party. Please bless them and children everywhere abundantly, Lord. Preserve them from repeating the mistakes their parents have made with them. Let them have recourse to You and the Mother we all share. Send Your grace upon their parents, who are probably repeating their parent's mistakes. Break the chains of abuse and addiction that bind them, so they may live in the freedom of love and give them the desire to embrace Your holy will. Please stand in the gap for us with Your Son, His Mother, and all the Saints. Amen.
During lunch, I asked the first graders sitting around me what they were going to do this summer. The conversation quickly turned from what they were going to do (because they didn't know), to who they were going to be with or without.
Little girl R said her Dad was going to pick her up on the last day of school, because he wanted her for one month, since her Mom gets her more than her Dad.
Little boy C, sitting next to her, said he never gets to see his real Dad because he moved far away and his mom lost track of him. When I told him "I bet your Dad misses you", he looked at me and said, "He's only called me once." Ugh.
Little girl D across the table said her Mom is supposed to get out of jail this summer. She asks if you won't tell anybody then tells you her Mom is in jail for "doing with drugs."
Next to her, sat Little J. He lives with his grandparents because his Mom is on drugs and his Dad is in jail. He's a great kid. Thank God for grandparents who pack his lunch, take him to Tae Kwon Do, and love him in all of the little ways kids need to be loved.
As the weight of our lunch conversations settled in on the drive home, I realized how blessed my children are to live in a home where things are as they should be. Nothing exceptional, just life as God intended it - with parents who love Him, each other, and their kids.
I generally think of this as a "given". I don't typically think I am blessing my sons just by showing up and being present. But, today I am reminded that just showing up can be a blessing. Not only to my kids, but to those kids who desperately need someone to look at, see, and listen to them.
Later that afternoon, I attended my kindergartner's year end party. The little boy I was sitting next to didn't have any pictures of his family during the slide show, because his parents are in CPS custody and he lives with his grandma, but she works. Another little boy pointed to the picture of his family and said "See that guy standing by me? He's dead." His Dad was killed a few weeks before when hit by a car on the side of a road.
My own father suffered horribly at the hands of his parents. With God's grace, he broke the cycle of addiction and abuse and has been nothing to his children, but a positive force - a pillar of strength and unconditional love. None of his children or grandchildren will ever see the ugliness and selfishness that would have been their inheritance without God's grace and his docility to the Holy Spirit.
In Apostolate for Holy Motherhood, the Blessed Mother says, "Be kind to your children. This is of the utmost importance. They need your undivided attention when they are small...Your children are your jewels, your wealth; guard them as the treasures which they are."
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the opportunity to join my son's First grade class for lunch today and my Kindergartner's year end party. Please bless them and children everywhere abundantly, Lord. Preserve them from repeating the mistakes their parents have made with them. Let them have recourse to You and the Mother we all share. Send Your grace upon their parents, who are probably repeating their parent's mistakes. Break the chains of abuse and addiction that bind them, so they may live in the freedom of love and give them the desire to embrace Your holy will. Please stand in the gap for us with Your Son, His Mother, and all the Saints. Amen.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Voice for Jesus
March 6, 2012
I want to be a voice for Jesus. After speaking to my women's group about my experience at the foot of the Cross and emailing it far and wide, it is hard for me not to look for the harvest. I planted the seeds out of obedience and know God wanted me to, I know my intention is pure at the outset. But, then I get too eager to see how God is going to use it. Who is it really going to penetrate and change - bring closer to Him?
I know I need to leave the results to Jesus. He is the Divine Farmer - the harvest is His business. I only have to plant seeds. He will handle the rest. Jesus, please give me the grace to let go of the results.
I also feel like Jesus is asking me if I am willing to be "nobody" and do "nothing" for Him. Nothing, in that it will be seen nor heard by anyone and will be contained within the four walls of my home.
Yes! If that is what He wants. I feel called to be an apostle, but I can live in silent obscurity, as well. My will is God's will.
God be praised!
I want to be a voice for Jesus. After speaking to my women's group about my experience at the foot of the Cross and emailing it far and wide, it is hard for me not to look for the harvest. I planted the seeds out of obedience and know God wanted me to, I know my intention is pure at the outset. But, then I get too eager to see how God is going to use it. Who is it really going to penetrate and change - bring closer to Him?
I know I need to leave the results to Jesus. He is the Divine Farmer - the harvest is His business. I only have to plant seeds. He will handle the rest. Jesus, please give me the grace to let go of the results.
I also feel like Jesus is asking me if I am willing to be "nobody" and do "nothing" for Him. Nothing, in that it will be seen nor heard by anyone and will be contained within the four walls of my home.
Yes! If that is what He wants. I feel called to be an apostle, but I can live in silent obscurity, as well. My will is God's will.
God be praised!
Three hours
February 29, 2012 - Adoration Chapel
Dearest Jesus, I'm in Your physical Presence again and I am trying to follow Your call. I feel like You are asking me to share my experience with the women in my parish. Please tell me exactly what message You want me to bring to them. I don't want to do anything of my own volition, but only Your holy will...
(This is what poured out from my pen in the following hour)
Three hours. For three hours, Jesus lived on the Cross. 10,800 seconds of dying. Of pouring His life, breath, and blood out for us. And at the very same time, pouring out His forgiveness upon us and interceding for us before His Father. This doesn't even begin to account for His agony in the garden, the merciless scourging, the crown of thorns, carrying the Cross, His falls, and the endless mockery He endured.
Can you imagine standing at the foot of the Cross and telling Jesus that His sacrifice is insufficient?!! That you need greater proof of His love?! This is what we are saying when we fail to trust Him. That we need something more.
If your trust is the measure of your love. Do you really love Him? Ask yourself if you have received His mercy, His forgiveness.
If you haven't or feel like you are unable to, beg Him for the grace to accept it. Only He can do this for us, but we have to ask Him. He poured out His life for us moment by moment to give us this gift. He will not refuse you.
If you can accept His forgiveness, you can accept His love, with His grace. Ask Him for it. Once we can begin to truly love Him, we can begin to trust Him.
It is only when we begin to trust Him, that His total and perfect sacrifice is made perfect in us. It is only then that we stop adding to His agony.
During our retreat Fr. Scott said "God's greatest joy is forgiveness. Our own forgiveness is what makes us most like God. Jesus wanted the nail marks to remain after His resurrection to remind us how much He loves us and how important the Cross is in our lives. This Lenten season, cast yourself freely and fully into the merciful arms of Jesus. Ask God for the grace to take this step. Take the Nestea plunge of faith".
Dearest Jesus, I'm in Your physical Presence again and I am trying to follow Your call. I feel like You are asking me to share my experience with the women in my parish. Please tell me exactly what message You want me to bring to them. I don't want to do anything of my own volition, but only Your holy will...
(This is what poured out from my pen in the following hour)
Three hours. For three hours, Jesus lived on the Cross. 10,800 seconds of dying. Of pouring His life, breath, and blood out for us. And at the very same time, pouring out His forgiveness upon us and interceding for us before His Father. This doesn't even begin to account for His agony in the garden, the merciless scourging, the crown of thorns, carrying the Cross, His falls, and the endless mockery He endured.
Can you imagine standing at the foot of the Cross and telling Jesus that His sacrifice is insufficient?!! That you need greater proof of His love?! This is what we are saying when we fail to trust Him. That we need something more.
If your trust is the measure of your love. Do you really love Him? Ask yourself if you have received His mercy, His forgiveness.
If you haven't or feel like you are unable to, beg Him for the grace to accept it. Only He can do this for us, but we have to ask Him. He poured out His life for us moment by moment to give us this gift. He will not refuse you.
If you can accept His forgiveness, you can accept His love, with His grace. Ask Him for it. Once we can begin to truly love Him, we can begin to trust Him.
It is only when we begin to trust Him, that His total and perfect sacrifice is made perfect in us. It is only then that we stop adding to His agony.
During our retreat Fr. Scott said "God's greatest joy is forgiveness. Our own forgiveness is what makes us most like God. Jesus wanted the nail marks to remain after His resurrection to remind us how much He loves us and how important the Cross is in our lives. This Lenten season, cast yourself freely and fully into the merciful arms of Jesus. Ask God for the grace to take this step. Take the Nestea plunge of faith".
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