Plug Your Ears

I didn't get up early for my prayer time this morning, so I sat down to pray after I got the big boys off to school.  I realized I was just going through the motions, and that the noise coming from the TV in the other room was "helping" me go through the motions.  In hindsight, I could have asked my son to turn the TV down, but I didn't think of that, so I just plugged my ears. 

Instant transformation. 

I could hear the air going into my lungs and immediately remembered the quietude I dwelled in during my 3-day-silent retreat.   A silence where I "heard" God speaking throughout.  Not with an audible voice, but rather a movement of my heart - an inspiration, conviction, or idea, accompanied with the energy that comes with "I have a great idea!", and palpable peace. 

Daily, I create silence in my home or my car, but often find my brain to be very noisy with to-do lists, menus, and whatever activity is on tap for the day.  Prolonged silence is the best way for me be quiet enough to listen well.  Unfortunately, that only happens once a year for this lady.  Otherwise, I get an hour of quiet in Adoration every week, but that, too, is such a short time.  I want more.

I'm going to try to remember this "power" silence method.  I think plugging your ears, and listening to the sound of your own inhalation and exhalation, is the best reminder that the most important things in life are not seen nor heard.  Without the unconscious silent breath, we cease to live.  Without our silent and unseen souls, we become zombies.  Without the "silent sound" or "still, small voice" of God, we are lost. 

"Then the Lord said:  Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord - the Lord will pass by.  There was a strong and violent wind rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the Lord - but the Lord was not in the wind; after the wind, an earthquake - but the Lord was not in the earthquake; after the earthquake, fire - but the Lord was not in the fire; after the fire, a light silent sound*. 

When he heart this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.  A voice said to him, Why are you here, Elijah?" I Kings 19: 11-12 (NAB)

*also translated as a still, small voice and tiny, whispering sound

This is the final week of Lent, and the week of our Lord's Passion, Death, and Resurrection.  I feel like I usually do this time of year, which is, I haven't been a good enough companion to Him during this "desert time".  I want to keep in step with Him between today and Friday, when He takes His final step to lay down on the Cross.  If you see me this week, and I'm plugging my ears, you'll know why -- I'm trying to listen to Him.

Dear Jesus,  Thank you for giving Your life for me.  Please forgive me for perpetually abandoning You.  I want to accompany You during this Holy Week.  I want to remember You at all times.  Please help me to remember the importance of silence in my relationship with You.  Help me to hear You when You have something to say.  I don't want to miss it.  I want to return love for love.  I know You have not and cannot fail me, please give me the grace not to fail You.  I love You.  Amen. 

15 Graces To Pray For

Today is my first day back after a 3-day silent retreat to participate in the Ignatian spiritual exercises.  I have so much I want to share with you, but know I have to pick and choose the things that are good for you.  Before I get carried away, let me very seriously encourage you to make one of these retreats in your lifetime.  The sooner, the better.  The more often, the better.

You cannot return the same after spending a weekend conversing with Jesus Christ.

These retreats come around twice a year in these parts.  Next year, mine will be February 13 - 16 in Castroville, TX.  Put it on your calendar if you live less than two states away!

I attended this same retreat last year and it was the impetus for starting this blog.  If you haven't read my very first few posts, it will give you the necessary background for understanding my motivation every time I write.  In a nutshell, last year I was completely convicted of God's love for me, and the pain it causes Him when we fail to trust Him.  I felt very compelled to do something to love Him back, and encourage others to do the same.

This year, I was reminded of His love for me (my conviction from last year remains), His generosity, His patience, and His mercy.  I had many personal lights and wrote my program of life, which is basically a plan that identifies the major area of sin in your life, how it manifests itself, the opposing virtue, and specific measures to practice that virtue. 

It is very personal, and every person's looks different.  I am not opposed to sharing mine with you, but am going to wait for that inspiration, as I'm not yet sure if it would be helpful to you.

However, I know something that will be helpful to you.  For each of the 15 meditations, we were encouraged to ask for a specific fruit or grace.  I want to invite you to ask for the same graces and encourage you to incorporate them into your prayer life. 

In Apostolate for Holy Motherhood, Christ says, "Ask of Me all that is good for thee spiritually, and it will be granted thee..."

Lord, please grant me the grace...

1.)  Of detachment of all that is not You nor leads me to You.
2.)  To seek You alone.
3.)  To know the malice of sin, so I may despise it in my own life.
4.)  To be ready for death at any moment.
5.)  To be a disciple that is called to Christ's right hand at the final judgment.
6.)  To be meek and humble of heart.
7.)  To imitate You in simplicity.
8.)  For a deeper desire to follow You.
9.)  For the grace to experience the depth of the Mass.
10.)  To know You as a person.
11.)  To accompany You in Your suffering.
12.)  To be as faithful a friend to You as You are to me.
13.)  To ardently desire Heaven.
14.)  To be an apostle, who with You, can do all things.
15.)  To use well the gifts You have given me, especially my intelligence and free will.

Thank you for hearing me.  I love You.  Make me love You more and more.  Amen.