I've been married twelve years today. I'm so blessed and thrilled to be celebrating a happy marriage with the man who chased the long-lived question, "How will you know when you find the one?" away forever. I'm so happy about so many things. I'm so happy I'm not still living that question. I'm so happy that I'm not the ball of insecurity I was in our early marriage. I'm so happy that our boys who are eleven and a half months apart are 8 and 9, not 1 and 2 (as cute as they were).
I'm especially happy to have something to celebrate today, when otherwise I might still be sulking over my monsterhood yesterday morning...I started working at my Church when school started. So, now the housecleaning that was done incrementally throughout the week, is saved up for one special day. Saturday. First thoughts of Saturday bring warm fuzzies with thoughts of sleeping in, breakfast together, and lazing about. Sleeping in and breakfast together are still going great. But, after breakfast, things go south. After the first couple of times it happened, I realized that I had omitted my morning prayer. Ohhhhhh, that must be the problem. Attempting to clean the house before prayer is certain disaster.
So yesterday, I took all the time I needed to pray well before heading down the bumpy-old-stinky-road of cleaning the house. When I left my prayer spot, I was filled with great resolve to maintain my peace and patience throughout, and promptly made my first error. I entered my son's room. The hot zone. Ground zero. Utter chaos of dirty clothes, legos, papers, markers, army guys, tanks, cups, shoes, and the like.
I cleared a spot, called the troops in, and began to give orders, "pick this up", "put those in there", "throw that away". And then it happens. Explanations start rolling in of who didn't put what where, things get shoved under the bed, little people start laying in the middle of the floor, and all manner of things happen that cannot defined as the only acceptable response - prompt obedience.
This now-working mother suddenly values her Saturday mornings a great deal, and when she realizes that she's the only one, she loses it. Her humanity finds a quiet corner to hide in while her anger and frustration take over, leaving her shaking on the inside and turning to stone on the outside. I am either barking or silent, but "pissed off" in every form. My language morphs into that which would befit a mild-tongued sailor. Apparently, I used the word "crap" quite profusely, a little bit of "damn", and a "pissed off" when I was discussing my frustration with my husband. Sadly, I got generous feedback on my language later in the day from my son.
It took hours to recover, and another Saturday morning needs to be redeemed by yours truly. Happy marriage aside, my husband said he'd rather live in a dirty house than with me on these Saturday mornings. I don't blame him. If I could live in a perpetually dirty house, I would too! But, I can't. I have a threshold. A threshold which turns out to be the amount of dirt/clutter/dog hair that accrues in a week's time. Since prayer wasn't enough to rid me of myself (although, many times it is), we made a new plan. Until I can handle it in a more sane and ladylike manner, I will tackle everything else, but that room. He can go in there.
It is humbling that something so simple as a messy room can still reduce me to tears and a potty mouth. As I continue to tackle the spiritual life and pursue helping others in theirs, I am reminded that I will never be above living an earthly life. I am a human, and this is where I live. On earth. With others. And their stuff.
...We are not angels but have bodies, and it is madness for us to want to become angels while we are still on earth...Come what may, the great thing is to embrace the Cross. The Lord was deprived of all consolation and forsaken in His trials. Let us not forsake Him; His hand will help us to rise better than our own efforts... St. Teresa of Avila
Dear Heavenly Father of Parents and Children with Messy Rooms,
Thank you for another day to know, love, and serve You. Thank you for my husband, and every wedding anniversary including today's. Please forgive me for my selfishness, impatience, and ingratitude. Thank you for the phone call while writing this post, thanking me for sharing my children, from someone who misses theirs. Thank you for opportunities to see what I can still be without your grace. Humbling, though they are. Thank you that Your Hand will help us to rise better than our own efforts. Please give me, and all parents, the grace to see the gift of our children, including the messes that often surround them. Finally, thank you for opportunities to redeem lost time. Please give me the grace to recognize and make the most of them. Amen.
Showing posts with label Forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Forgiveness. Show all posts
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Monday, March 11, 2013
A Peek Into Rehab
Someone I know and love is in Rehab. My family went to visit her yesterday for the first time since she checked in 22 days ago.
Second only to every Walmart experience I've ever had, I have never been around so many people who were visibly struggling with their flesh for their soul.
I am reminded how important family and people are to one fully engaged in this very real battle - That we "belong to each other", as Mother Teresa says. I am reminded that we are all engaged in this same battle, only some are winning and some are losing. I am reminded of the need for our intercession in prayer. These people cannot get themselves out, by prayer, or any other means. They need the "body of Christ" in a very real, and tangible way.
Yesterday, I experienced the lack of hope that the world gives. My "person" was telling me about the people who have been discharged, only to come back in two day's time. They are putting their hope in themselves, and "themselves" are not capable of coming through. She was telling me about a boy who was sitting close by, who had to have "skin checks" every day, because he makes continued attempts on his life by cutting himself. I would never have known by looking. All I saw was a boy with hair in his eyes, surrounded by people who clearly loved him. I was reminded that you cannot presume anything about anyone, especially by looking.
As I learned yesterday, the first step in a 12-step program is admitting that your life is out of control and that you are powerless over it. Secondly, that there is a higher power - something bigger, greater, and more powerful than you.
It is scary for me, even for a few moments, to think as if I were the biggest, greatest, and most powerful force in my life. I can see how the daily pressure would be too great, and can imagine the temptation to succumb to the unremitting appeal for an essential, life-preserving escape. This is exactly what God is telling us when He says that we are strong in our weakness.
"'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
If we know we need God above all, and are subject to Him above all, all will be well. Only then, can our relationships be properly ordered, and we can take our proper place, in humility.
When I used to work with the poor with the St. Vincent de Paul Society, I heard a great analogy: Imagine you have a garage full of boxes and stuff that has accumulated for years. You want to clean it out, but there is no obvious starting point. You feel so overwhelmed by the big, seamless mess, that the best (most peaceful) course of action seems to leave it, as is.
When one lives a life of poverty, or addiction, their whole life feels like that. It is not just one room in a house. These people need us.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for a car that works to bring us to those in need. Thank you for the beauty of your Creation. Thank you for the privilege to participate in another person's life. Thank you for family, and for those people who give us glimpses of your unconditional love. Lord, thank you for being a God of order, and for putting us directly under Yourself in that order.
Lord, I beg you to draw near to those who live on the edge of despair, the sin against hope. Lord, please comfort them, and grant them the grace of wisdom - to know where to begin to sort through the years of accumulated mess. Please grant them the grace to forgive those by whom they have felt betrayed or abandoned, and to look only to You for fulfillment.
Please grant those of us You have sustained with your grace, an extra dose of compassion for those who need our intercession. Help us to take seriously our responsibility to pray and ask graces for those in need, especially because they are incapable themselves. Help us to extend the mercy we have been granted. Amen.
Second only to every Walmart experience I've ever had, I have never been around so many people who were visibly struggling with their flesh for their soul.
I am reminded how important family and people are to one fully engaged in this very real battle - That we "belong to each other", as Mother Teresa says. I am reminded that we are all engaged in this same battle, only some are winning and some are losing. I am reminded of the need for our intercession in prayer. These people cannot get themselves out, by prayer, or any other means. They need the "body of Christ" in a very real, and tangible way.
Yesterday, I experienced the lack of hope that the world gives. My "person" was telling me about the people who have been discharged, only to come back in two day's time. They are putting their hope in themselves, and "themselves" are not capable of coming through. She was telling me about a boy who was sitting close by, who had to have "skin checks" every day, because he makes continued attempts on his life by cutting himself. I would never have known by looking. All I saw was a boy with hair in his eyes, surrounded by people who clearly loved him. I was reminded that you cannot presume anything about anyone, especially by looking.
As I learned yesterday, the first step in a 12-step program is admitting that your life is out of control and that you are powerless over it. Secondly, that there is a higher power - something bigger, greater, and more powerful than you.
It is scary for me, even for a few moments, to think as if I were the biggest, greatest, and most powerful force in my life. I can see how the daily pressure would be too great, and can imagine the temptation to succumb to the unremitting appeal for an essential, life-preserving escape. This is exactly what God is telling us when He says that we are strong in our weakness.
"'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
If we know we need God above all, and are subject to Him above all, all will be well. Only then, can our relationships be properly ordered, and we can take our proper place, in humility.
When I used to work with the poor with the St. Vincent de Paul Society, I heard a great analogy: Imagine you have a garage full of boxes and stuff that has accumulated for years. You want to clean it out, but there is no obvious starting point. You feel so overwhelmed by the big, seamless mess, that the best (most peaceful) course of action seems to leave it, as is.
When one lives a life of poverty, or addiction, their whole life feels like that. It is not just one room in a house. These people need us.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for a car that works to bring us to those in need. Thank you for the beauty of your Creation. Thank you for the privilege to participate in another person's life. Thank you for family, and for those people who give us glimpses of your unconditional love. Lord, thank you for being a God of order, and for putting us directly under Yourself in that order.
Lord, I beg you to draw near to those who live on the edge of despair, the sin against hope. Lord, please comfort them, and grant them the grace of wisdom - to know where to begin to sort through the years of accumulated mess. Please grant them the grace to forgive those by whom they have felt betrayed or abandoned, and to look only to You for fulfillment.
Please grant those of us You have sustained with your grace, an extra dose of compassion for those who need our intercession. Help us to take seriously our responsibility to pray and ask graces for those in need, especially because they are incapable themselves. Help us to extend the mercy we have been granted. Amen.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Loving Humanity and Hating People
"I love humanity,' he said, ' but I wonder at myself. The more I love humanity in general, the less I love man in particular. In my dreams, he said, 'I have often come to making enthusiastic schemes for the service of humanity, and perhaps I might actually have faced crucifixion if it had been suddenly necessary; and yet I am incapable of living in the same room with any one for two days together, as I know by experience. As soon as anyone is near me, his personality disturbs my self-complacency and restricts my freedom. In twenty-four hours I begin to hate the best of men: one because he's too long over his dinner; another because he has a cold and keeps on blowing his nose. I become hostile to people the moment they come close to me. But it has always happened that the more I detest men individually the more ardent becomes my love for humanity."
"I came with horror to the conclusion that, if anything could dissipate my love to humanity, it would be ingratitude. In short, I am a hired servant, I expect my payment at once - that is, praise, and the repayment of love with love. Otherwise, I am incapable of loving any one."
~Quotes from two different people in The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
In my women's group today, the following question was posed, "Jesus set down certain conditions for those who wanted to be His disciples. In Matthew 16:24 we read, 'If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.' How has Christ presented you with the Cross in your life? Has it strengthened your faith?"
Our discussion centered around the crosses of everyday life - Usually those that involve relationship, ingratitude, selfishness, and unmet expectations. The heaviest of these crosses are those which we have been carrying for a long time, and there has been no sign of positive change. The wounds get deeper with the passing of time, and we are tempted to eliminate the source of them (the person who is repeatedly hurting or frustrating us). We don't want to be so foolish as to allow other people to continually hurt us. So, we become paralyzed in the relationship. We want the situation to improve, but the other person won't allow it.
Consider the following:
"If we only had faith we should show good-will to all creatures; we should cherish them and be interiorly grateful to them as serving, by God's will, for our perfection."
~ Fr. Jean Pierre de Caussade
"Harm does not come to us from external circumstances, but from how we react to them interiorly. The harm that other people do to me, never comes from them, it comes from me."
"We have no right to identify people with the wrong they do. That would be to imprison them and lose all hope in their regard. Nor can we identify anyone - especially not ourselves - with the good they do."
"It is consoling to know that we can draw great spiritual profit from a trial with nothing spiritual about it."
~Interior Freedom, Jacques Phillipe
"Vain are all our lookings around to companions and relatives; they are broken reeds if we lean upon them - often unwilling when able and unable when they are willing. Since the promise comes alone from God, it would be well to wait only upon Him, and when we do so, our expectation never fails us. In all times of fiery trial, in patience let us possess our souls." ~Charles Spurgeon
Sometimes things seem very complicated when we are in the center of the relationship matrix. However, we should strive to imitate Christ's simplicity. If someone hurts us repeatedly, we are called to forgive repeatedly. We need to know that sometimes a difficult conversation is required to "clear the air". We are very hesitant to do this because we don't want to hurt anyone. However,
"The Christian ideal is not to avoid hurting people, but to avoid harming them. Peter probably did not feel very good after Jesus said to him, 'Get behind me, Satan.'" ~The Art of Christian Listening, Thomas Hart
We are called to speak the truth, in love. And we've heard it a million times - Sometimes, the truth hurts. If you think an uncomfortable dialogue is in your future, be encouraged. Pray. Ask God for wisdom. Spend some time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Write down what you want to say. Ask God if he approves it. Consider whether you will still think engaging in dialogue was best, even if it is not well-received.
"Human beings are more than the sum of the good they can accomplish. They are children of God, whether they do good or cannot yet manage to do anything. Our Father in heaven does not love us because of the good we do. He loves us for ourselves, because he has adopted us as His children forever.
This is why humility, spiritual poverty, is so precious: it locates our identity securely in the one place where it will be safe from all harm. If our treasure is in God, no one can take it from us."
`Interior Freedom, Jacques Phillipe
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the truth of who You are, and for calling us so clearly to be like You. Please grant us prudence and wisdom for the relationships in our lives, especially those that are painful to us. You know we are tempted to protect ourselves at all costs, and yet, You don't. Help us to realize that our love for humanity must boil down to love of man, with all of his irritating faults and shortcomings. Lord, thank you for loving us into existence and loving us just because. Help us to imitate Your mercy, Your forgiveness, and Your love. Please give us the grace to detach ourselves from our expectations of others, and to look only to You for our every need. I love You. Amen.
"I came with horror to the conclusion that, if anything could dissipate my love to humanity, it would be ingratitude. In short, I am a hired servant, I expect my payment at once - that is, praise, and the repayment of love with love. Otherwise, I am incapable of loving any one."
~Quotes from two different people in The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
In my women's group today, the following question was posed, "Jesus set down certain conditions for those who wanted to be His disciples. In Matthew 16:24 we read, 'If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.' How has Christ presented you with the Cross in your life? Has it strengthened your faith?"
Our discussion centered around the crosses of everyday life - Usually those that involve relationship, ingratitude, selfishness, and unmet expectations. The heaviest of these crosses are those which we have been carrying for a long time, and there has been no sign of positive change. The wounds get deeper with the passing of time, and we are tempted to eliminate the source of them (the person who is repeatedly hurting or frustrating us). We don't want to be so foolish as to allow other people to continually hurt us. So, we become paralyzed in the relationship. We want the situation to improve, but the other person won't allow it.
Consider the following:
"If we only had faith we should show good-will to all creatures; we should cherish them and be interiorly grateful to them as serving, by God's will, for our perfection."
~ Fr. Jean Pierre de Caussade
"Harm does not come to us from external circumstances, but from how we react to them interiorly. The harm that other people do to me, never comes from them, it comes from me."
"We have no right to identify people with the wrong they do. That would be to imprison them and lose all hope in their regard. Nor can we identify anyone - especially not ourselves - with the good they do."
"It is consoling to know that we can draw great spiritual profit from a trial with nothing spiritual about it."
~Interior Freedom, Jacques Phillipe
"Vain are all our lookings around to companions and relatives; they are broken reeds if we lean upon them - often unwilling when able and unable when they are willing. Since the promise comes alone from God, it would be well to wait only upon Him, and when we do so, our expectation never fails us. In all times of fiery trial, in patience let us possess our souls." ~Charles Spurgeon
Sometimes things seem very complicated when we are in the center of the relationship matrix. However, we should strive to imitate Christ's simplicity. If someone hurts us repeatedly, we are called to forgive repeatedly. We need to know that sometimes a difficult conversation is required to "clear the air". We are very hesitant to do this because we don't want to hurt anyone. However,
"The Christian ideal is not to avoid hurting people, but to avoid harming them. Peter probably did not feel very good after Jesus said to him, 'Get behind me, Satan.'" ~The Art of Christian Listening, Thomas Hart
We are called to speak the truth, in love. And we've heard it a million times - Sometimes, the truth hurts. If you think an uncomfortable dialogue is in your future, be encouraged. Pray. Ask God for wisdom. Spend some time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Write down what you want to say. Ask God if he approves it. Consider whether you will still think engaging in dialogue was best, even if it is not well-received.
"Human beings are more than the sum of the good they can accomplish. They are children of God, whether they do good or cannot yet manage to do anything. Our Father in heaven does not love us because of the good we do. He loves us for ourselves, because he has adopted us as His children forever.
This is why humility, spiritual poverty, is so precious: it locates our identity securely in the one place where it will be safe from all harm. If our treasure is in God, no one can take it from us."
`Interior Freedom, Jacques Phillipe
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the truth of who You are, and for calling us so clearly to be like You. Please grant us prudence and wisdom for the relationships in our lives, especially those that are painful to us. You know we are tempted to protect ourselves at all costs, and yet, You don't. Help us to realize that our love for humanity must boil down to love of man, with all of his irritating faults and shortcomings. Lord, thank you for loving us into existence and loving us just because. Help us to imitate Your mercy, Your forgiveness, and Your love. Please give us the grace to detach ourselves from our expectations of others, and to look only to You for our every need. I love You. Amen.
Friday, January 25, 2013
A New Heart - Part II
If we repent of our sins, (tell God we're sorry and turn away from them), and ask Christ for a new heart, He will give it to us. If we ask Christ for a new heart prematurely (before repenting), we block His action by putting ourselves and our sin in His way. So, let's assume we've asked God's forgiveness, we're making every human effort to do better, and Jesus has given us a new heart.
How do we honor and preserve this gift? If we fail to act and let our new heart remain a lofty ideal, then we didn't need to bother asking for a new heart in the first place. Action is necessary and must be specific. So, what should it look like? You can probably come up with a laundry list of your own here, but I'm simple and into "fail-safe" ideas, so feel free to borrow if you need a little inspiration.
#1. Empty yourself. Mother Teresa says, "Even God Himself cannot fill what is already full." Ask yourself what you fill yourself up with (especially in those moments when you feel the void that only God can fill). Facebook? Email? Food? Shopping? Texting friends? Family? Yes. Yes. No. No! Yes. Yes.
Seriously, I just started "fasting" from my phone. I'm trying to look at it only every two hours, (instead of every time I walk into the kitchen and see it on the counter). If it weren't for the possible phone call from school for a sick kid, or keeping in touch with my husband, I would be tempted to lock it up somewhere and only pull it out after the kids were in bed. At any rate, iPhone time is definitely something that is on my chopping block!
#2. Forgive others. There's a line from a Sara Bareilles song that says, "I'm not the girl that I intend to be." That's for sure. What's your biggest obstacle to being the girl/guy that you intend to be? If you are tempted to answer with the name of another, then your biggest obstacle is forgiveness. If you don't want to forgive, then your first step is simple. You need to ask God for the desire.
#3. Wait on the Lord. Cultivate silence. Begin your day in prayer and in Scripture. You cannot walk through your day with your Savior, if you don't meet up with Him in the morning. Yes, other prayer times are good (and necessary!), but kicking off your day with Jesus is non-negotiable if you want to dwell in His peace. There's no gettin' around it.
Do not be too ready to do, just be. I said "Be ye therefore perfect", not do perfect things. Try and grasp this. Individual efforts avail nothing. It is only the work of My Spirit that counts. Dwell in thought on this, more and more. Saints have taken a lifetime to grasp it."
~Jesus, in God Calling
#4. Accomplish your daily tasks with joy. After spending time in silence and allowing God to speak to you in it and through Scripture, we have things that must be done. We do not live on an island or in a vacuum (Thank goodness, because if I lived in my vacuum, I would be really dirty). See every task and person as God Himself asking something of you, and the joy will come on its own.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for another gorgeous day, where we can feel Your love through the sun on our faces and the breeze on our skin! Thank you for the gift of a new heart every time we ask for it. Thank you for Your unfathomable mercy. It allows me to come to You as often as I need, without worrying about using up my quota of chances, forgiveness, and love. Please help us be the person that You intended us to be, and give us the grace to see and remove those things that block Your Divine Action. Help us to be more, and do less, especially when it is not for love and in the service of our brother. Amen.
How do we honor and preserve this gift? If we fail to act and let our new heart remain a lofty ideal, then we didn't need to bother asking for a new heart in the first place. Action is necessary and must be specific. So, what should it look like? You can probably come up with a laundry list of your own here, but I'm simple and into "fail-safe" ideas, so feel free to borrow if you need a little inspiration.
#1. Empty yourself. Mother Teresa says, "Even God Himself cannot fill what is already full." Ask yourself what you fill yourself up with (especially in those moments when you feel the void that only God can fill). Facebook? Email? Food? Shopping? Texting friends? Family? Yes. Yes. No. No! Yes. Yes.
Seriously, I just started "fasting" from my phone. I'm trying to look at it only every two hours, (instead of every time I walk into the kitchen and see it on the counter). If it weren't for the possible phone call from school for a sick kid, or keeping in touch with my husband, I would be tempted to lock it up somewhere and only pull it out after the kids were in bed. At any rate, iPhone time is definitely something that is on my chopping block!
#2. Forgive others. There's a line from a Sara Bareilles song that says, "I'm not the girl that I intend to be." That's for sure. What's your biggest obstacle to being the girl/guy that you intend to be? If you are tempted to answer with the name of another, then your biggest obstacle is forgiveness. If you don't want to forgive, then your first step is simple. You need to ask God for the desire.
#3. Wait on the Lord. Cultivate silence. Begin your day in prayer and in Scripture. You cannot walk through your day with your Savior, if you don't meet up with Him in the morning. Yes, other prayer times are good (and necessary!), but kicking off your day with Jesus is non-negotiable if you want to dwell in His peace. There's no gettin' around it.
Do not be too ready to do, just be. I said "Be ye therefore perfect", not do perfect things. Try and grasp this. Individual efforts avail nothing. It is only the work of My Spirit that counts. Dwell in thought on this, more and more. Saints have taken a lifetime to grasp it."
~Jesus, in God Calling
#4. Accomplish your daily tasks with joy. After spending time in silence and allowing God to speak to you in it and through Scripture, we have things that must be done. We do not live on an island or in a vacuum (Thank goodness, because if I lived in my vacuum, I would be really dirty). See every task and person as God Himself asking something of you, and the joy will come on its own.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for another gorgeous day, where we can feel Your love through the sun on our faces and the breeze on our skin! Thank you for the gift of a new heart every time we ask for it. Thank you for Your unfathomable mercy. It allows me to come to You as often as I need, without worrying about using up my quota of chances, forgiveness, and love. Please help us be the person that You intended us to be, and give us the grace to see and remove those things that block Your Divine Action. Help us to be more, and do less, especially when it is not for love and in the service of our brother. Amen.
Friday, June 15, 2012
When Sorry Never Comes
"Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Settle with your opponent quickly while on the way to court with him..." Matthew 5:23-25
This passage doesn't have anything to say about waiting for an apology before settling with your opponent or what to do if your brother doesn't accept your apology. The truth here is that it doesn't matter what the other person does. The only thing that matters is the disposition of your heart.
Today is the solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus. Let us briefly consider how Jesus handled the many, many injustices in his life, as written in YES!, by Anne Kiemel:
Jesus is the greatest example of a perfect, honest, good man...who was treated unjustly every day. He not only forgave all the religious leaders and other people for their failures...He never even expected an apology. Jesus kept His eyes on the Father. He, like Paul 'laid aside every weight'...pressed ahead...
Thank the Lord for bringing it (whatever or whoever has hurt you) across your path...for all it has taught you about yourself...and how you will, from now on treat others. Ask God to help you forgive fully, and lay it aside. Even waiting for an apology will cripple the creative flow of energy that can take you on to higher and better things."
I think we can all easily agree that it is most difficult to forgive when someone continually hurts us or when they can't (or won't) acknowledge they've hurt us. It is easy to feel like they are tying our hands. If only they could say, "I understand what you are saying. I'm sorry I hurt you." But, it isn't always that easy for a lot of different reasons - pride, differences of opinion, communication has been cut off, or time has run out and the other person has died, etc...
So, today, let us remember the Sacred Heart of Jesus. He has suffered greater injustice than any other human being on earth. His suffering always trumps our suffering. That is why He is always able to console us. He knows. Think about how we have hurt Him in the past and present, and consider how we will continue to hurt Him in the future. And yet, He is forgiving us the entire time, even on the Cross, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34)
Dear Jesus, Thank you for showing us how to forgive without conditions or apologies. Thank you for forgiving us, even from the Cross. Please give us the grace to forgive those who have hurt and continue to hurt us, especially when "Sorry" never comes. Help us to imitate You and lay every weight aside. We need Your grace to do this and we ask You for it with great confidence. Help us to forgive ourselves, as You have already forgiven us, if we are truly sorry for what we have done. Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like your heart. Amen.
This passage doesn't have anything to say about waiting for an apology before settling with your opponent or what to do if your brother doesn't accept your apology. The truth here is that it doesn't matter what the other person does. The only thing that matters is the disposition of your heart.
Today is the solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus. Let us briefly consider how Jesus handled the many, many injustices in his life, as written in YES!, by Anne Kiemel:
Jesus is the greatest example of a perfect, honest, good man...who was treated unjustly every day. He not only forgave all the religious leaders and other people for their failures...He never even expected an apology. Jesus kept His eyes on the Father. He, like Paul 'laid aside every weight'...pressed ahead...
Thank the Lord for bringing it (whatever or whoever has hurt you) across your path...for all it has taught you about yourself...and how you will, from now on treat others. Ask God to help you forgive fully, and lay it aside. Even waiting for an apology will cripple the creative flow of energy that can take you on to higher and better things."
I think we can all easily agree that it is most difficult to forgive when someone continually hurts us or when they can't (or won't) acknowledge they've hurt us. It is easy to feel like they are tying our hands. If only they could say, "I understand what you are saying. I'm sorry I hurt you." But, it isn't always that easy for a lot of different reasons - pride, differences of opinion, communication has been cut off, or time has run out and the other person has died, etc...
So, today, let us remember the Sacred Heart of Jesus. He has suffered greater injustice than any other human being on earth. His suffering always trumps our suffering. That is why He is always able to console us. He knows. Think about how we have hurt Him in the past and present, and consider how we will continue to hurt Him in the future. And yet, He is forgiving us the entire time, even on the Cross, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34)
Dear Jesus, Thank you for showing us how to forgive without conditions or apologies. Thank you for forgiving us, even from the Cross. Please give us the grace to forgive those who have hurt and continue to hurt us, especially when "Sorry" never comes. Help us to imitate You and lay every weight aside. We need Your grace to do this and we ask You for it with great confidence. Help us to forgive ourselves, as You have already forgiven us, if we are truly sorry for what we have done. Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like your heart. Amen.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Three hours
February 29, 2012 - Adoration Chapel
Dearest Jesus, I'm in Your physical Presence again and I am trying to follow Your call. I feel like You are asking me to share my experience with the women in my parish. Please tell me exactly what message You want me to bring to them. I don't want to do anything of my own volition, but only Your holy will...
(This is what poured out from my pen in the following hour)
Three hours. For three hours, Jesus lived on the Cross. 10,800 seconds of dying. Of pouring His life, breath, and blood out for us. And at the very same time, pouring out His forgiveness upon us and interceding for us before His Father. This doesn't even begin to account for His agony in the garden, the merciless scourging, the crown of thorns, carrying the Cross, His falls, and the endless mockery He endured.
Can you imagine standing at the foot of the Cross and telling Jesus that His sacrifice is insufficient?!! That you need greater proof of His love?! This is what we are saying when we fail to trust Him. That we need something more.
If your trust is the measure of your love. Do you really love Him? Ask yourself if you have received His mercy, His forgiveness.
If you haven't or feel like you are unable to, beg Him for the grace to accept it. Only He can do this for us, but we have to ask Him. He poured out His life for us moment by moment to give us this gift. He will not refuse you.
If you can accept His forgiveness, you can accept His love, with His grace. Ask Him for it. Once we can begin to truly love Him, we can begin to trust Him.
It is only when we begin to trust Him, that His total and perfect sacrifice is made perfect in us. It is only then that we stop adding to His agony.
During our retreat Fr. Scott said "God's greatest joy is forgiveness. Our own forgiveness is what makes us most like God. Jesus wanted the nail marks to remain after His resurrection to remind us how much He loves us and how important the Cross is in our lives. This Lenten season, cast yourself freely and fully into the merciful arms of Jesus. Ask God for the grace to take this step. Take the Nestea plunge of faith".
Dearest Jesus, I'm in Your physical Presence again and I am trying to follow Your call. I feel like You are asking me to share my experience with the women in my parish. Please tell me exactly what message You want me to bring to them. I don't want to do anything of my own volition, but only Your holy will...
(This is what poured out from my pen in the following hour)
Three hours. For three hours, Jesus lived on the Cross. 10,800 seconds of dying. Of pouring His life, breath, and blood out for us. And at the very same time, pouring out His forgiveness upon us and interceding for us before His Father. This doesn't even begin to account for His agony in the garden, the merciless scourging, the crown of thorns, carrying the Cross, His falls, and the endless mockery He endured.
Can you imagine standing at the foot of the Cross and telling Jesus that His sacrifice is insufficient?!! That you need greater proof of His love?! This is what we are saying when we fail to trust Him. That we need something more.
If your trust is the measure of your love. Do you really love Him? Ask yourself if you have received His mercy, His forgiveness.
If you haven't or feel like you are unable to, beg Him for the grace to accept it. Only He can do this for us, but we have to ask Him. He poured out His life for us moment by moment to give us this gift. He will not refuse you.
If you can accept His forgiveness, you can accept His love, with His grace. Ask Him for it. Once we can begin to truly love Him, we can begin to trust Him.
It is only when we begin to trust Him, that His total and perfect sacrifice is made perfect in us. It is only then that we stop adding to His agony.
During our retreat Fr. Scott said "God's greatest joy is forgiveness. Our own forgiveness is what makes us most like God. Jesus wanted the nail marks to remain after His resurrection to remind us how much He loves us and how important the Cross is in our lives. This Lenten season, cast yourself freely and fully into the merciful arms of Jesus. Ask God for the grace to take this step. Take the Nestea plunge of faith".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)