Trusting The Great Artist is an idea that keeps resurfacing in my readings, and most recently at the Morning of Reflection on Friday. It reminded me of a journal entry I wrote about being a "good paintbrush," a few months back. (It's funny to me that most everything I write makes its way from my little green journal to you, eventually.)
Anyway, God must think we're pretty awesome. We get to do, and be, everything that God uses in our transformation! It's fascinating to me that we are both the canvas on which God, The Great Artist, creates His masterpiece, and the paintbrush He uses to make it. We are the tool, the medium, and the finished product. Our job as tool and medium is the same. To respond.
September 18, 2013
Help me to be a good paintbrush, Lord. Content to be in Your Hand for as long as You deem necessary. Help me to remain docile and content, to paint only the picture You have in mind. For I know paintbrushes don't have eyes, with which to see what the Great Artist intends.
Just as no one thinks "of praising the quality of the brush an artist used when you look at his painting, but instead admire his skill in using it," help me be deaf to the praise of others, for it is praise of You alone.
Help me to be blind and deaf to everything but You, and to rest comfortably in Your hand, or wherever You set me down.
A paintbrush has no life of its own. Help me to be a good paintbrush - One who doesn't fall into the trap of trying to be "powerful, relevant, and spectacular" (Henry Nouwen). Amen.
Showing posts with label Self-surrender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-surrender. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Your Cross Is You
"Remember, you are only an instrument. Not yours to decide how or when or where you act. I plan all that. Make yourself very fit to do My work. All that hinders your activity must be cured.
Mine is the Cross on which the burdens of the world are laid. How foolish is any one of My disciples who seeks to bear his own burdens, when there is only one place for them - My Cross.
It is like a weary man on a hot and dusty road, bearing a heavy load, when all plans have been made for its carriage. The road, the scenery, flowers, beauty around - all are lost.
But, My children, you may think I did say, "Take up your cross daily and follow Me."
Yes, but the cross given to each one of you is only a cross provided on which you can crucify the self of yours that hinders progress and Joy, and prevents the flow through your being of My invigorating Life and Spirit.
Listen to Me, love Me, joy in Me. Rejoice."
Jesus, in God Calling
Today, in my women's study, On The Christian Meaning of Suffering, we reflected on the life of a woman named (Saint) Gianna Beretta Molla, who voluntarily gave her life at age 40 for her unborn child. Upon discovering a large ovarian cyst during her second month of pregnancy, she refused an abortion or complete hysterectomy, both of which would have spared her life at the expense of her child's. Instead, she chose surgical removal of the cyst, which would not compromise the baby, but would leave her vulnerable to further complications. "A few days before the birth, anticipating that the delivery might be dangerous, she said to her husband, "If you must decide between me and the child, do not hesitate: choose the child - I insist on it. Save him!" She had a healthy baby girl and died one week later. She already had 3 children, ages 6, 5, and 3.
Our room full of mothers took a collective deep breath, and followed it with "Well, she must have known her family would take good care of her children..., But...". We admired her conviction but felt reasonably sure we lacked the same. "I don't know if I could do it." echoed around the room. There was a palpable weighing of consciences and the discomfort which always follows coming up short.
In the conversation that followed, we discussed our awareness of God's grace, and the fact that it only accompanies real situations. Most of us have not been given that grace, because that situation is not our own. Abandonment to Divine Providence offers the perfect advice at this uncomfortable juncture. "If it [the soul] should feel neither attraction nor grace to do those things that make the saints so much admired, it must, in justice to itself, say, 'God has willed it thus for the saints, but not for me.'"
We are all called to shoulder different crosses because we are unique, and the part of ourselves that "hinders progress and Joy" is what needs to be crucified. However, most of us focus our attention outwardly, instead of focusing on what needs to change within. We live in fear and wait for the next big cross to be lashed to our back.
Etty Hillesum, a 29-year-old writer who died in Auschwitz, said, "Man suffers most through his fear of suffering." "Reality is something one shoulders together with all the suffering that goes with it...But the idea of suffering (which is not the reality, for real suffering is always fruitful and can turn life into a precious thing) must be destroyed. And if you destroy the ideas behind which life lies imprisoned as behind bars, then you liberate your true life, its real mainsprings, and you will also have the strength to bear real suffering, your own and the world's."
We throw away our peace in times of calm, when all is well. We feel justified in skimming over the joys of today because we're "waiting for the other shoe to drop". We want to be ready! We're not sure for what, but we want to be ready.
Instead of borrowing suffering, let's borrow a page from the diary of Sister Faustina, "I regard the time of peace as a time of preparation of victory..."
The Lord has already carried His Cross. He is proven. He is calling us to follow Him. "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 16:24-25). Let's climb out from under our cross, and get on it. It's the only way we can be like Him, and it's a lot easier for Him to carry.
Dear God of All That Is Good, Thank you for the gorgeous weather and so many opportunities to experience You. Thank you for God Calling, and continually revealing Yourself and Your plan to us. Thank you for the examples of the saints, and people who model heroic charity and courage. Thank you for the reminder that real suffering is always bearable, because Your grace is abundant in reality. Help me to destroy imagined suffering in my life.
Lord, please give me the courage to climb upon my cross. Help me to see and know those things that hinder my progress and Joy, and to do whatever is necessary to remove them. Please give me and all others who are pursuing You, the grace of knowing when we are comparing our relationship with You to someone else's relationship with You, and spare us the confusion and feelings of inferiority that come with that comparison. Thank You for making our burdens light and for the rest we find when we come to You. Amen.
Mine is the Cross on which the burdens of the world are laid. How foolish is any one of My disciples who seeks to bear his own burdens, when there is only one place for them - My Cross.
It is like a weary man on a hot and dusty road, bearing a heavy load, when all plans have been made for its carriage. The road, the scenery, flowers, beauty around - all are lost.
But, My children, you may think I did say, "Take up your cross daily and follow Me."
Yes, but the cross given to each one of you is only a cross provided on which you can crucify the self of yours that hinders progress and Joy, and prevents the flow through your being of My invigorating Life and Spirit.
Listen to Me, love Me, joy in Me. Rejoice."
Jesus, in God Calling
Today, in my women's study, On The Christian Meaning of Suffering, we reflected on the life of a woman named (Saint) Gianna Beretta Molla, who voluntarily gave her life at age 40 for her unborn child. Upon discovering a large ovarian cyst during her second month of pregnancy, she refused an abortion or complete hysterectomy, both of which would have spared her life at the expense of her child's. Instead, she chose surgical removal of the cyst, which would not compromise the baby, but would leave her vulnerable to further complications. "A few days before the birth, anticipating that the delivery might be dangerous, she said to her husband, "If you must decide between me and the child, do not hesitate: choose the child - I insist on it. Save him!" She had a healthy baby girl and died one week later. She already had 3 children, ages 6, 5, and 3.
Our room full of mothers took a collective deep breath, and followed it with "Well, she must have known her family would take good care of her children..., But...". We admired her conviction but felt reasonably sure we lacked the same. "I don't know if I could do it." echoed around the room. There was a palpable weighing of consciences and the discomfort which always follows coming up short.
In the conversation that followed, we discussed our awareness of God's grace, and the fact that it only accompanies real situations. Most of us have not been given that grace, because that situation is not our own. Abandonment to Divine Providence offers the perfect advice at this uncomfortable juncture. "If it [the soul] should feel neither attraction nor grace to do those things that make the saints so much admired, it must, in justice to itself, say, 'God has willed it thus for the saints, but not for me.'"
We are all called to shoulder different crosses because we are unique, and the part of ourselves that "hinders progress and Joy" is what needs to be crucified. However, most of us focus our attention outwardly, instead of focusing on what needs to change within. We live in fear and wait for the next big cross to be lashed to our back.
Etty Hillesum, a 29-year-old writer who died in Auschwitz, said, "Man suffers most through his fear of suffering." "Reality is something one shoulders together with all the suffering that goes with it...But the idea of suffering (which is not the reality, for real suffering is always fruitful and can turn life into a precious thing) must be destroyed. And if you destroy the ideas behind which life lies imprisoned as behind bars, then you liberate your true life, its real mainsprings, and you will also have the strength to bear real suffering, your own and the world's."
We throw away our peace in times of calm, when all is well. We feel justified in skimming over the joys of today because we're "waiting for the other shoe to drop". We want to be ready! We're not sure for what, but we want to be ready.
Instead of borrowing suffering, let's borrow a page from the diary of Sister Faustina, "I regard the time of peace as a time of preparation of victory..."
The Lord has already carried His Cross. He is proven. He is calling us to follow Him. "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 16:24-25). Let's climb out from under our cross, and get on it. It's the only way we can be like Him, and it's a lot easier for Him to carry.
Dear God of All That Is Good, Thank you for the gorgeous weather and so many opportunities to experience You. Thank you for God Calling, and continually revealing Yourself and Your plan to us. Thank you for the examples of the saints, and people who model heroic charity and courage. Thank you for the reminder that real suffering is always bearable, because Your grace is abundant in reality. Help me to destroy imagined suffering in my life.
Lord, please give me the courage to climb upon my cross. Help me to see and know those things that hinder my progress and Joy, and to do whatever is necessary to remove them. Please give me and all others who are pursuing You, the grace of knowing when we are comparing our relationship with You to someone else's relationship with You, and spare us the confusion and feelings of inferiority that come with that comparison. Thank You for making our burdens light and for the rest we find when we come to You. Amen.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
One Cruel Mark At A Time
The following applies to us any time God is at work in our life, but we don't have a clue what He's up to. All we know is that it hurts. Here is another view, from a distance:
It is true that a canvas simply and blindly given up to the work of the pencil only feels its movement at each moment. Each blow of the hammer on the chisel can only produce one cruel mark at a time, and the stone struck by repeated blows cannot know, nor see the form produced by them. It only feels that it is being diminished, filed, cut, and altered by the chisel. And a stone that is destined to become a crucifix or a statue without knowing it, if it were asked, "What is happening to you?" would reply if it could speak, "Do not ask me, I only know one thing, and that is, to remain immovable in the hands of my master, to love him, and to endure all that he inflicts upon me. As for the end for which I am destined, it is his business to understand how it is to be accomplished; I am as ignorant of what he is doing as of what I am destined to become; all I know is that his work is the best, and the most perfect that could be, and I receive each blow of the chisel as the most excellent thing that could happen to me, although, truth to tell, each blow, in my opinion, causes the idea of ruin, destruction, and disfigurement. But that is not my affair; content with the present moment, I think of nothing but my duty, and I endure the work of this clever master without knowing, or occupying myself about it.
Yes! give to God what belongs to Him, and remain lovingly passive in his hands. Hold for certain that what takes place either exteriorly or interiorly is best for you."
~Abandonment to Divine Providence by Jean Pierre de Caussade
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for Fr. Jean Pierre de Caussade and his writings. Thank you for this one, in particular. Please help us to remain lovingly passive in Your hands, and endure Your work, in whatever form it may present itself, with peace. Please purify our self-love, which always demands to know what is going on, and help us rest in our ignorance of Your divine plan. Amen.
It is true that a canvas simply and blindly given up to the work of the pencil only feels its movement at each moment. Each blow of the hammer on the chisel can only produce one cruel mark at a time, and the stone struck by repeated blows cannot know, nor see the form produced by them. It only feels that it is being diminished, filed, cut, and altered by the chisel. And a stone that is destined to become a crucifix or a statue without knowing it, if it were asked, "What is happening to you?" would reply if it could speak, "Do not ask me, I only know one thing, and that is, to remain immovable in the hands of my master, to love him, and to endure all that he inflicts upon me. As for the end for which I am destined, it is his business to understand how it is to be accomplished; I am as ignorant of what he is doing as of what I am destined to become; all I know is that his work is the best, and the most perfect that could be, and I receive each blow of the chisel as the most excellent thing that could happen to me, although, truth to tell, each blow, in my opinion, causes the idea of ruin, destruction, and disfigurement. But that is not my affair; content with the present moment, I think of nothing but my duty, and I endure the work of this clever master without knowing, or occupying myself about it.
Yes! give to God what belongs to Him, and remain lovingly passive in his hands. Hold for certain that what takes place either exteriorly or interiorly is best for you."
~Abandonment to Divine Providence by Jean Pierre de Caussade
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for Fr. Jean Pierre de Caussade and his writings. Thank you for this one, in particular. Please help us to remain lovingly passive in Your hands, and endure Your work, in whatever form it may present itself, with peace. Please purify our self-love, which always demands to know what is going on, and help us rest in our ignorance of Your divine plan. Amen.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Equation for Holiness
According to St. Maximilian Kolbe, achieving holiness is as simple as the following equation:
W + w = S
W (God's will) united to w (your will) = Sanctity (holiness)
Dear God, please help me to give you my little w. Amen.
W + w = S
W (God's will) united to w (your will) = Sanctity (holiness)
Dear God, please help me to give you my little w. Amen.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
The Surrendered Soul Has Found Paradise on Earth
My brain feels pretty empty this morning after my "purge" yesterday. So, I'm sharing my New Year's Resolution for 2010, which has been the same for 2011, and 2012. To grow in holiness. Daily: Begin with a morning offering, feeding my soul with the Word, spiritual reading, and prayer first thing in the morning (This has become an indispensable habit. Sometimes, I even roll out of bed early on the weekends to get this time. It's amazing how 30 minutes can change an entire day). Trying to live a "surrendered" life - not needing to have my own way (plenty of room for improvement, here). Trying to see God's Providence in everything (lots of opportunities for growth, here). Praying the Rosary, Angelus, and Divine Mercy Chaplet daily (I get 2 out of 3 on a good day). Doing an examination of conscience at night. Weekly: Adoration. Monthly: Confession (I make it every 2 months, at best).
All of these things are good, but I have learned the hard way that it is very easy to become attached to these things because of their goodness. (ie. yelling at my kids when they interrupt my prayer time to find the remote - I shudder at the example I was for them, being so easily irritated and unholy during my prayer time). Jacques Phillipe nails the description of what I was doing in Searching for and Maintaining Peace, "Because the thing we want is good, even seen as desired by God, we feel justified in wanting it with that much more impatience and displeasure if not realized. The more a thing seems good to us, the more we are agitated and preoccupied to realize it!" "We are no longer among those who want bad things that are contrary to God. Instead, we want things that are in conformity with God's will, but in a manner that is still not "God's way" (the way of the Holy Spirit), which is caring, peaceful, and patient." "The devil is crafty and uses the desire we have to do God's will to disturb us."
So, I am thankful for Fr. Caussade's reminder in Abandonment to Divine Providence: "Without the divine action all things are as nothing, and with it the veriest nothing can be turned to account. Whether it be meditation, contemplation, vocal prayer, interior silence, or the active use of any of the faculties, either sensible and distinct, or almost imperceptible; quiet retreat, or active employment, whatever it may be in itself, even if very desirable, that which God wills for the present moment is best and all else must be regarded by the soul as being nothing at all."
Dear Patient and Gentle Father, Thank you for the present moment. Help us to see You in whatever (or whoever) comes to us, moment by moment. Help us to dwell in the moment and not think about if time is going fast or slow. Help us to do your will in your way, Lord. With care, peacefulness, and patience. Help us to form holy habits, so that me may find you more easily in every moment you give us. Jesus, Make my heart meek and humble like your heart. Amen.
December 31, 2009 - Thursday, 11:53am
It’s the last day of 2009. It has been a wonderful year. Namely, Wyatt was born and we’ve all been healthy and happy. I feel like God is really blessing our family. I pray that some financial blessings will follow as our family grows bigger. My biggest goal for 2010 is to grow in holiness. I also need to give my children more undivided attention and get back to having my quiet/prayer/meditation times in the mornings. Wyatt has been getting up so early - 5:00 or before, I couldn’t make myself get up before that. However, since we’ve been on Christmas break, Brett and I decided we would not get him up before 6am. This morning he slept until 7:50…the latest ever. So, if he continues to sleep until 7, I will start getting up at 6 for “my time”. I am trying to “surrender” my will in every situation, so I can live freely, without hesitation, bitterness, or selfishness, with Brett and the boys. I have periodically felt that“freedom” of not needing or wanting to have my own way…"The surrendered soul has found Paradise on earth." (The end)
All of these things are good, but I have learned the hard way that it is very easy to become attached to these things because of their goodness. (ie. yelling at my kids when they interrupt my prayer time to find the remote - I shudder at the example I was for them, being so easily irritated and unholy during my prayer time). Jacques Phillipe nails the description of what I was doing in Searching for and Maintaining Peace, "Because the thing we want is good, even seen as desired by God, we feel justified in wanting it with that much more impatience and displeasure if not realized. The more a thing seems good to us, the more we are agitated and preoccupied to realize it!" "We are no longer among those who want bad things that are contrary to God. Instead, we want things that are in conformity with God's will, but in a manner that is still not "God's way" (the way of the Holy Spirit), which is caring, peaceful, and patient." "The devil is crafty and uses the desire we have to do God's will to disturb us."
So, I am thankful for Fr. Caussade's reminder in Abandonment to Divine Providence: "Without the divine action all things are as nothing, and with it the veriest nothing can be turned to account. Whether it be meditation, contemplation, vocal prayer, interior silence, or the active use of any of the faculties, either sensible and distinct, or almost imperceptible; quiet retreat, or active employment, whatever it may be in itself, even if very desirable, that which God wills for the present moment is best and all else must be regarded by the soul as being nothing at all."
Dear Patient and Gentle Father, Thank you for the present moment. Help us to see You in whatever (or whoever) comes to us, moment by moment. Help us to dwell in the moment and not think about if time is going fast or slow. Help us to do your will in your way, Lord. With care, peacefulness, and patience. Help us to form holy habits, so that me may find you more easily in every moment you give us. Jesus, Make my heart meek and humble like your heart. Amen.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Selfish to Deny Help to Family or Friends?
This is Part 2 to the babysitting conversation. Around the same time I made the journal entry that I posted yesterday, I emailed the following question to a Roman Catholic Spiritual Direction website. Dear Father John, if Christians are called to charity, and we assume that our charity must cost us something (like time, comfort, or money), is there a time when we can justifiably deny a request without being selfish? I'm an at-home mom and my friends often ask me to babysit for their children. I always say "Yes", but only because it is difficult for me to do so, and I wonder if God is increasing my capacity to give. Please visit the link below to see my question answered (in two parts) by Fr. John Bartunek. By the way, this is a great website for all things Catholic and if you're interested, you can subscribe and get the daily post in your inbox.
http://rcspiritualdirection.com/blog/2011/10/24/am-i-being-selfish-by-denying-help-to-my-family-or-friends-part-i-of-ii-2
http://rcspiritualdirection.com/blog/2011/10/31/am-i-being-selfish-by-denying-help-to-my-family-or-friends-part-ii-of-ii
http://rcspiritualdirection.com/blog/2011/10/24/am-i-being-selfish-by-denying-help-to-my-family-or-friends-part-i-of-ii-2
http://rcspiritualdirection.com/blog/2011/10/31/am-i-being-selfish-by-denying-help-to-my-family-or-friends-part-ii-of-ii
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