A 19-year-old boy killed 17 unsuspecting students and wounded many others. I grieve for everyone who knew and loved them.
Since that horrific day, I've participated very little and overheard a lot of conversations about who and what are at fault, who is covering up what and why, and how do we fix it, now and forever.
We would be totally deranged if we weren't in a fervor, and if the discussion didn't start around the gun debate. It is such an obvious starting place.
But.
But, what about the boy holding the gun? Was there a time he was innocent, and believed the world was a good place, full of people who loved him, and whom he loved in return?
I don't know, but I suspect there was. Even for a little while.
"An environment is needed for the flourishing of every kind of life...a living environment, circumstances that will allow the person who wishes to live to breathe, grow, and nourish himself. If the environment disappears, so does the life..." Fr. Bernard Bro
If I were some fixture in his room throughout his childhood, I wonder how many times I would have wished I was alive and could go to him, because he was sitting in the corner, crying. Alone.
I have a friend who has endured much loss, disappointment, and betrayal in her lifetime. She once described herself as feeling like a set of shelves. A time came when there was one heartbreak too many and she felt each shelf break in turn, right down the middle.
I believe we have threshholds, and threshholds can be exceeded. And who knows what after that.
"For most people, the family is the place where one learns to love, or not...We most likely do not learn to love from our school, or from our place of employment, or from our interactions with the government. Now we might, when we are older, learn a lot about love from our friends or a romantic love. But at crucial developmental periods prior to adulthood, if we do not come to understand the contents of attentive, secure, sacrificial love from our family, we will likely be impaired in ways difficult, if not impossible, to transcend in the matter of giving and receiving love."
-Helent Alvare, The Family and the Values of Human Life
There are people that I love, who are in my life at this very moment, who feel completely missed in the world they show up in every day. Unseen, unheard, and unknown. By all appearances, they are thriving, but they carry devastating, life-altering burdens.
I wonder if a milk carton campaign for the "missing" who live among us would be an effective remedy. Hey! That's so-and-so who sits over there every day at lunch by himself. Hey! That's my colleague right down the hall. Hey! That's my next door neighbor. Hey! That's my son! Based on the little I know about the boy's life, and the number of times the police were involved over an extended period of time, I believe he was missed. He is not understood, but he is no longer missing. He is seen. But, he will never again be seen as a person worthy of love. And that is no way to live.
I don't know. And I'm pretty sure I know less now than when I began typing. The only thing I know for sure is that tragedy has struck, we must continue living, and we've been given renewed permission and encouragement to wonder aloud.
And I wonder if this sort of thing is what God was referring to in The Dialogue of St. Catherine of Siena, [describing perfected souls living in an imperfect world]. They would "be content to endure anything for My Name's sake; and when an injury is done to someone else, they endure it with compassion for their injured neighbor, and without murmuring against him who caused the injury...
That which thou dost not see thou shouldst not judge in thy mind, even though it may be externally open to mortal sin..."
If you've stayed with me til now, and are up in arms, please know that I am not defending the shooter. I'm just remembering that bit about environment, and life that flourishes or dies because of it. And I'm also remembering that God, Author and Distributor of Justice and Mercy, has something to say. And maybe He's already said it.
Showing posts with label Creating environment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Creating environment. Show all posts
Sunday, March 4, 2018
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Spring Break Revelation
It is humbling to be a parent.
Generally speaking, everyone in our family gets along well-enough most of the time, that there is no real reason to take a hard look at the family dynamic. Until we were halfway between Natural Bridge Caverns and Enchanted Rock.
Something was plaguing my middle son. I don't know if his black cloud was brought on by the flu he had at the beginning of the week or what. All I know is that whatever it was, was very ill-timed.
The day before, we spent the morning walking through the first real cave my boys have been in, and it was magnificent besides. We spent the afternoon playing in the spring water at a New Braunfels park, had a great dinner, and spent the night at a hotel, which was a major highlight in its own right. The negativity ebbed and flowed from my middle son, and was checked by us at its peaks.
The negativity started ramping up again the following morning, and came to a head in route to Enchanted Rock, (where after we camped last Spring Break, vowed to spend every Spring Break thereafter). He was talking about what a boring life he had and I'm pretty sure there was something about wishing he lived with a different family.
My husband pulled the car over and they had a conversation which didn't require any words. We decided that if he wasn't able to pull his bad attitude out of the gutter between where we were and where we were going, he could stay in the car with me, and the rest of the family would spend the day hiking as planned. His choice.
He got it turned around. But, just as he did, my oldest took cover under that same black cloud. I would have loved to have seen (and squished) that little black crab, hiding in that black cloud, jumping from one to the other. Damn thing. On our ascent of Enchanted Rock (the same rock they climbed and conquered and have been talking about for a year), my oldest decided we were his enemies, and he wasn't going to climb all the way up because his legs were too tired. Oh, boy.
I'm thinking, "This is fun! Now, I'm pretty sure I have some of the most spoiled kids in this park, which makes me one of the worst parents in this park, etc..."
We finished climbing, and once we got to the top, all was well. It ended up being a great day and the black crab must have hopped families. Interestingly, I saw a father gripping his son by his arm on top of that same rock, giving him the "attitude" talk. I'm just saying...
But, I was not unscathed. On the way home, all the kiddos were sacked out from a full day of climbing and sun. I asked my husband, "Do I need to be doing something differently?" If my kids can be so ungrateful and negative in such great moments, I feel like I must be doing something wrong. He said something like "Kids only have kid's perspectives. They can't really appreciate anything because they've never known anything else." They have everything they need and a lot of what they want. Don't get me wrong. Our kids only get gifts for Christmas and birthdays. Otherwise, they buy what they want with their own money, saved from special occasions or earned from chores. But, they are "spoiled" because of the lack of balance in their life.
Basically, they have more than they need coming in (free time, attention, pleasures, stuff), and less of what we need going out (gratitude, respect, work, positive attitude). So, I changed our current protocol to produce different and satisfactory results - Decrease what is coming in, and increase what is going out.
Feeling very pleased with this assessment, I sat down and made a list of daily jobs for each boy, in conjunction with a handy "three-strikes-and-you're-out" check mark system for all the behaviors and attitudes we don't want to see. I covered it with the boys over dinner and relished briefly in the feeling of regaining a sense of balance, control, and peace. But, then I realized... I've done all this before. There is nothing new here. Just a re-commitment to doing what I've already committed to do - Raise children who Love. Appreciate. Respect. Serve.
It is humbling to be a parent.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the beauty of Your Creation and time to enjoy it. Thank you for Spring Break as a time to recover from the flu and see something new. Thank you for the humility demanded in parenthood. Thank you for new inspirations and moments of clarity. Please grant us wisdom, as we raise our children in this wealthy country, where we want for nothing. Lord, help me to be the mother you intended me to be, before you granted me the gift of motherhood. Help me to talk less and act more. Thank you for the gift of a partner in the difficult journey of raising children. Please sustain those who have to do it on their own. Thank you for so many chances to get it right and help us extend Your Mercy to those who live under our own roof. Please bless our children with hearts like Yours. Help them to be meek and humble of heart, so that they may enjoy Your Presence for eternity. Amen.
Generally speaking, everyone in our family gets along well-enough most of the time, that there is no real reason to take a hard look at the family dynamic. Until we were halfway between Natural Bridge Caverns and Enchanted Rock.
Something was plaguing my middle son. I don't know if his black cloud was brought on by the flu he had at the beginning of the week or what. All I know is that whatever it was, was very ill-timed.
The day before, we spent the morning walking through the first real cave my boys have been in, and it was magnificent besides. We spent the afternoon playing in the spring water at a New Braunfels park, had a great dinner, and spent the night at a hotel, which was a major highlight in its own right. The negativity ebbed and flowed from my middle son, and was checked by us at its peaks.
The negativity started ramping up again the following morning, and came to a head in route to Enchanted Rock, (where after we camped last Spring Break, vowed to spend every Spring Break thereafter). He was talking about what a boring life he had and I'm pretty sure there was something about wishing he lived with a different family.
My husband pulled the car over and they had a conversation which didn't require any words. We decided that if he wasn't able to pull his bad attitude out of the gutter between where we were and where we were going, he could stay in the car with me, and the rest of the family would spend the day hiking as planned. His choice.
He got it turned around. But, just as he did, my oldest took cover under that same black cloud. I would have loved to have seen (and squished) that little black crab, hiding in that black cloud, jumping from one to the other. Damn thing. On our ascent of Enchanted Rock (the same rock they climbed and conquered and have been talking about for a year), my oldest decided we were his enemies, and he wasn't going to climb all the way up because his legs were too tired. Oh, boy.
I'm thinking, "This is fun! Now, I'm pretty sure I have some of the most spoiled kids in this park, which makes me one of the worst parents in this park, etc..."
We finished climbing, and once we got to the top, all was well. It ended up being a great day and the black crab must have hopped families. Interestingly, I saw a father gripping his son by his arm on top of that same rock, giving him the "attitude" talk. I'm just saying...
But, I was not unscathed. On the way home, all the kiddos were sacked out from a full day of climbing and sun. I asked my husband, "Do I need to be doing something differently?" If my kids can be so ungrateful and negative in such great moments, I feel like I must be doing something wrong. He said something like "Kids only have kid's perspectives. They can't really appreciate anything because they've never known anything else." They have everything they need and a lot of what they want. Don't get me wrong. Our kids only get gifts for Christmas and birthdays. Otherwise, they buy what they want with their own money, saved from special occasions or earned from chores. But, they are "spoiled" because of the lack of balance in their life.
Basically, they have more than they need coming in (free time, attention, pleasures, stuff), and less of what we need going out (gratitude, respect, work, positive attitude). So, I changed our current protocol to produce different and satisfactory results - Decrease what is coming in, and increase what is going out.
Feeling very pleased with this assessment, I sat down and made a list of daily jobs for each boy, in conjunction with a handy "three-strikes-and-you're-out" check mark system for all the behaviors and attitudes we don't want to see. I covered it with the boys over dinner and relished briefly in the feeling of regaining a sense of balance, control, and peace. But, then I realized... I've done all this before. There is nothing new here. Just a re-commitment to doing what I've already committed to do - Raise children who Love. Appreciate. Respect. Serve.
It is humbling to be a parent.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the beauty of Your Creation and time to enjoy it. Thank you for Spring Break as a time to recover from the flu and see something new. Thank you for the humility demanded in parenthood. Thank you for new inspirations and moments of clarity. Please grant us wisdom, as we raise our children in this wealthy country, where we want for nothing. Lord, help me to be the mother you intended me to be, before you granted me the gift of motherhood. Help me to talk less and act more. Thank you for the gift of a partner in the difficult journey of raising children. Please sustain those who have to do it on their own. Thank you for so many chances to get it right and help us extend Your Mercy to those who live under our own roof. Please bless our children with hearts like Yours. Help them to be meek and humble of heart, so that they may enjoy Your Presence for eternity. Amen.
Monday, March 11, 2013
A Peek Into Rehab
Someone I know and love is in Rehab. My family went to visit her yesterday for the first time since she checked in 22 days ago.
Second only to every Walmart experience I've ever had, I have never been around so many people who were visibly struggling with their flesh for their soul.
I am reminded how important family and people are to one fully engaged in this very real battle - That we "belong to each other", as Mother Teresa says. I am reminded that we are all engaged in this same battle, only some are winning and some are losing. I am reminded of the need for our intercession in prayer. These people cannot get themselves out, by prayer, or any other means. They need the "body of Christ" in a very real, and tangible way.
Yesterday, I experienced the lack of hope that the world gives. My "person" was telling me about the people who have been discharged, only to come back in two day's time. They are putting their hope in themselves, and "themselves" are not capable of coming through. She was telling me about a boy who was sitting close by, who had to have "skin checks" every day, because he makes continued attempts on his life by cutting himself. I would never have known by looking. All I saw was a boy with hair in his eyes, surrounded by people who clearly loved him. I was reminded that you cannot presume anything about anyone, especially by looking.
As I learned yesterday, the first step in a 12-step program is admitting that your life is out of control and that you are powerless over it. Secondly, that there is a higher power - something bigger, greater, and more powerful than you.
It is scary for me, even for a few moments, to think as if I were the biggest, greatest, and most powerful force in my life. I can see how the daily pressure would be too great, and can imagine the temptation to succumb to the unremitting appeal for an essential, life-preserving escape. This is exactly what God is telling us when He says that we are strong in our weakness.
"'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
If we know we need God above all, and are subject to Him above all, all will be well. Only then, can our relationships be properly ordered, and we can take our proper place, in humility.
When I used to work with the poor with the St. Vincent de Paul Society, I heard a great analogy: Imagine you have a garage full of boxes and stuff that has accumulated for years. You want to clean it out, but there is no obvious starting point. You feel so overwhelmed by the big, seamless mess, that the best (most peaceful) course of action seems to leave it, as is.
When one lives a life of poverty, or addiction, their whole life feels like that. It is not just one room in a house. These people need us.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for a car that works to bring us to those in need. Thank you for the beauty of your Creation. Thank you for the privilege to participate in another person's life. Thank you for family, and for those people who give us glimpses of your unconditional love. Lord, thank you for being a God of order, and for putting us directly under Yourself in that order.
Lord, I beg you to draw near to those who live on the edge of despair, the sin against hope. Lord, please comfort them, and grant them the grace of wisdom - to know where to begin to sort through the years of accumulated mess. Please grant them the grace to forgive those by whom they have felt betrayed or abandoned, and to look only to You for fulfillment.
Please grant those of us You have sustained with your grace, an extra dose of compassion for those who need our intercession. Help us to take seriously our responsibility to pray and ask graces for those in need, especially because they are incapable themselves. Help us to extend the mercy we have been granted. Amen.
Second only to every Walmart experience I've ever had, I have never been around so many people who were visibly struggling with their flesh for their soul.
I am reminded how important family and people are to one fully engaged in this very real battle - That we "belong to each other", as Mother Teresa says. I am reminded that we are all engaged in this same battle, only some are winning and some are losing. I am reminded of the need for our intercession in prayer. These people cannot get themselves out, by prayer, or any other means. They need the "body of Christ" in a very real, and tangible way.
Yesterday, I experienced the lack of hope that the world gives. My "person" was telling me about the people who have been discharged, only to come back in two day's time. They are putting their hope in themselves, and "themselves" are not capable of coming through. She was telling me about a boy who was sitting close by, who had to have "skin checks" every day, because he makes continued attempts on his life by cutting himself. I would never have known by looking. All I saw was a boy with hair in his eyes, surrounded by people who clearly loved him. I was reminded that you cannot presume anything about anyone, especially by looking.
As I learned yesterday, the first step in a 12-step program is admitting that your life is out of control and that you are powerless over it. Secondly, that there is a higher power - something bigger, greater, and more powerful than you.
It is scary for me, even for a few moments, to think as if I were the biggest, greatest, and most powerful force in my life. I can see how the daily pressure would be too great, and can imagine the temptation to succumb to the unremitting appeal for an essential, life-preserving escape. This is exactly what God is telling us when He says that we are strong in our weakness.
"'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
If we know we need God above all, and are subject to Him above all, all will be well. Only then, can our relationships be properly ordered, and we can take our proper place, in humility.
When I used to work with the poor with the St. Vincent de Paul Society, I heard a great analogy: Imagine you have a garage full of boxes and stuff that has accumulated for years. You want to clean it out, but there is no obvious starting point. You feel so overwhelmed by the big, seamless mess, that the best (most peaceful) course of action seems to leave it, as is.
When one lives a life of poverty, or addiction, their whole life feels like that. It is not just one room in a house. These people need us.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for a car that works to bring us to those in need. Thank you for the beauty of your Creation. Thank you for the privilege to participate in another person's life. Thank you for family, and for those people who give us glimpses of your unconditional love. Lord, thank you for being a God of order, and for putting us directly under Yourself in that order.
Lord, I beg you to draw near to those who live on the edge of despair, the sin against hope. Lord, please comfort them, and grant them the grace of wisdom - to know where to begin to sort through the years of accumulated mess. Please grant them the grace to forgive those by whom they have felt betrayed or abandoned, and to look only to You for fulfillment.
Please grant those of us You have sustained with your grace, an extra dose of compassion for those who need our intercession. Help us to take seriously our responsibility to pray and ask graces for those in need, especially because they are incapable themselves. Help us to extend the mercy we have been granted. Amen.
Friday, January 25, 2013
A New Heart - Part II
If we repent of our sins, (tell God we're sorry and turn away from them), and ask Christ for a new heart, He will give it to us. If we ask Christ for a new heart prematurely (before repenting), we block His action by putting ourselves and our sin in His way. So, let's assume we've asked God's forgiveness, we're making every human effort to do better, and Jesus has given us a new heart.
How do we honor and preserve this gift? If we fail to act and let our new heart remain a lofty ideal, then we didn't need to bother asking for a new heart in the first place. Action is necessary and must be specific. So, what should it look like? You can probably come up with a laundry list of your own here, but I'm simple and into "fail-safe" ideas, so feel free to borrow if you need a little inspiration.
#1. Empty yourself. Mother Teresa says, "Even God Himself cannot fill what is already full." Ask yourself what you fill yourself up with (especially in those moments when you feel the void that only God can fill). Facebook? Email? Food? Shopping? Texting friends? Family? Yes. Yes. No. No! Yes. Yes.
Seriously, I just started "fasting" from my phone. I'm trying to look at it only every two hours, (instead of every time I walk into the kitchen and see it on the counter). If it weren't for the possible phone call from school for a sick kid, or keeping in touch with my husband, I would be tempted to lock it up somewhere and only pull it out after the kids were in bed. At any rate, iPhone time is definitely something that is on my chopping block!
#2. Forgive others. There's a line from a Sara Bareilles song that says, "I'm not the girl that I intend to be." That's for sure. What's your biggest obstacle to being the girl/guy that you intend to be? If you are tempted to answer with the name of another, then your biggest obstacle is forgiveness. If you don't want to forgive, then your first step is simple. You need to ask God for the desire.
#3. Wait on the Lord. Cultivate silence. Begin your day in prayer and in Scripture. You cannot walk through your day with your Savior, if you don't meet up with Him in the morning. Yes, other prayer times are good (and necessary!), but kicking off your day with Jesus is non-negotiable if you want to dwell in His peace. There's no gettin' around it.
Do not be too ready to do, just be. I said "Be ye therefore perfect", not do perfect things. Try and grasp this. Individual efforts avail nothing. It is only the work of My Spirit that counts. Dwell in thought on this, more and more. Saints have taken a lifetime to grasp it."
~Jesus, in God Calling
#4. Accomplish your daily tasks with joy. After spending time in silence and allowing God to speak to you in it and through Scripture, we have things that must be done. We do not live on an island or in a vacuum (Thank goodness, because if I lived in my vacuum, I would be really dirty). See every task and person as God Himself asking something of you, and the joy will come on its own.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for another gorgeous day, where we can feel Your love through the sun on our faces and the breeze on our skin! Thank you for the gift of a new heart every time we ask for it. Thank you for Your unfathomable mercy. It allows me to come to You as often as I need, without worrying about using up my quota of chances, forgiveness, and love. Please help us be the person that You intended us to be, and give us the grace to see and remove those things that block Your Divine Action. Help us to be more, and do less, especially when it is not for love and in the service of our brother. Amen.
How do we honor and preserve this gift? If we fail to act and let our new heart remain a lofty ideal, then we didn't need to bother asking for a new heart in the first place. Action is necessary and must be specific. So, what should it look like? You can probably come up with a laundry list of your own here, but I'm simple and into "fail-safe" ideas, so feel free to borrow if you need a little inspiration.
#1. Empty yourself. Mother Teresa says, "Even God Himself cannot fill what is already full." Ask yourself what you fill yourself up with (especially in those moments when you feel the void that only God can fill). Facebook? Email? Food? Shopping? Texting friends? Family? Yes. Yes. No. No! Yes. Yes.
Seriously, I just started "fasting" from my phone. I'm trying to look at it only every two hours, (instead of every time I walk into the kitchen and see it on the counter). If it weren't for the possible phone call from school for a sick kid, or keeping in touch with my husband, I would be tempted to lock it up somewhere and only pull it out after the kids were in bed. At any rate, iPhone time is definitely something that is on my chopping block!
#2. Forgive others. There's a line from a Sara Bareilles song that says, "I'm not the girl that I intend to be." That's for sure. What's your biggest obstacle to being the girl/guy that you intend to be? If you are tempted to answer with the name of another, then your biggest obstacle is forgiveness. If you don't want to forgive, then your first step is simple. You need to ask God for the desire.
#3. Wait on the Lord. Cultivate silence. Begin your day in prayer and in Scripture. You cannot walk through your day with your Savior, if you don't meet up with Him in the morning. Yes, other prayer times are good (and necessary!), but kicking off your day with Jesus is non-negotiable if you want to dwell in His peace. There's no gettin' around it.
Do not be too ready to do, just be. I said "Be ye therefore perfect", not do perfect things. Try and grasp this. Individual efforts avail nothing. It is only the work of My Spirit that counts. Dwell in thought on this, more and more. Saints have taken a lifetime to grasp it."
~Jesus, in God Calling
#4. Accomplish your daily tasks with joy. After spending time in silence and allowing God to speak to you in it and through Scripture, we have things that must be done. We do not live on an island or in a vacuum (Thank goodness, because if I lived in my vacuum, I would be really dirty). See every task and person as God Himself asking something of you, and the joy will come on its own.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for another gorgeous day, where we can feel Your love through the sun on our faces and the breeze on our skin! Thank you for the gift of a new heart every time we ask for it. Thank you for Your unfathomable mercy. It allows me to come to You as often as I need, without worrying about using up my quota of chances, forgiveness, and love. Please help us be the person that You intended us to be, and give us the grace to see and remove those things that block Your Divine Action. Help us to be more, and do less, especially when it is not for love and in the service of our brother. Amen.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Children Learn What They Live
The other day, I was at the Church bookstore looking for a little something for my goddaughter and came across this beautiful laminated little card entitled, "Children Learn What They Live". Interestingly, no author was listed to claim the credit for such an excellent summation. However, as soon as I laid eyes on it, I knew I needed to carry it with me, to remind me of the importance of my role in creating the environment where they "learn what they live". I wanted to include it in my last post, but it was getting kind of lengthy, so here it is...
Children Learn
What They Live
If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
He learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance &
friendship. He learns to find
love in the world.
Home - The Place Where One Learns To Love, Or Not
"For most people, the family is the place where one learns to love, or not...We most likely do not learn to love from our school, or from our place of employment, or from our interactions with the government. Now we might, when we are older, learn a lot about love from our friends or a romantic love. But at crucial developmental periods prior to adulthood, if we do not come to understand the contents of attentive, secure, sacrificial love from our family, we will likely be impaired in ways difficult, if not impossible, to transcend in the matter of giving and receiving love." ~Helen Alvare, "The Family and the Values of Human Life"
What kind of environment did you grow up in? Do you recognize the environment described above, one of attentive, secure, and sacrificial love? If not, have you (or do you) get stuck playing the "What if?" game? What if my parents didn't divorce when I was four? What if my Mom didn't marry a guy who introduced me to life in the country and bought me my first horse? What if my Dad didn't marry a woman who has prayed for me and guided me spiritually since the moment I met her? What if my mom didn't have that car accident and become a quadriplegic when I was 16? What if? What if? What if?!
"An environment is needed for the flourishing of every kind of life...Much more is required; a living environment, circumstances that will allow the person who wishes to live to breathe, grow, and nourish himself. If the environment disappears, so does the life..." ~Fr. Bernard Bro
If we are (at least in part) products of our environment, how different would you be today if your environment was different, for better or worse? We can't really know for sure, but we can remember this when we see someone who has done something we would never do. "If the environment disappears, so does the life..."
Have you noticed that those who were deprived of a loving environment quickly attribute their lack of development, negative attributes, or lack of virtue to it? They inherently know they didn't receive what was crucial for their development. And yet, those who were well-loved and provided for, are able to flourish and excel without needing to examine why. They just know that nothing is holding them back.
What kind of environment do you create for those around you? Something like Heaven or closer to Hell?
"It seems that each one of us creates either heaven or hell on earth for those around us, by what we say and do, by what is in our hearts. We have the power to bring division and pain, or to bring peace and joy." ~Susan Conroy
The environment we create in our homes is largely unseen by others, and it is all-too-easy to buy into the lie that "there are no achievements where there is no recognition." "The private world is the world of intimate relationships without which we cannot live fully human or happy lives; it is the realm where the individual is cherished and the memories that give us a sense of self and connection are most readily built." ~Endow study guide
Environment. Not trees and carbon footprints and global warming. Your environment. Think about your space, your home, your life. Are you creating the environment you intend to create? Do you like being in the environment you've created? If you don't, don't worry, because you are the solution! You can begin changing it as soon as you decide. Pick one thing and go with it. Be specific!!
Being more loving, more kind, less selfish, etc. are nice, but vague! What does that look like? Are you going to say more nice things or abstain from saying a few mean things? Wash the dishes without complaining? Do one thing at a time? Spend more time in prayer? When? Get up earlier? Go out (joyfully) when you'd rather stay home, or stay home (joyfully) when you'd rather go out? Play Legos instead of check email? The sky is the limit, but keep your feet on the ground and stick with specifics!
Aside from participating in the miraculous creation of another human being, your environment is the most important thing you will ever create. It is not always easy to see, but it is something that is always felt.
Dear Heavenly Father and Creator of all that is Good, Thank you for parents who created an environment where learning to love was easy. Thank you for allowing us to participate in Creation - Creation of bodies and souls, and creation of the environment where we live. Lord, we lift up those who were left wanting in their childhood, and pray that you send them people who can show them Your love. Please convict us of the importance of what we are doing in our homes, that which few people ever see. Help us to reject the notion that what we are doing has no value. Please fill our hearts with Your love, so that it may spill over onto those with whom our encounters are many and close. Help us to create an environment where love reigns and self serves. Amen.
What kind of environment did you grow up in? Do you recognize the environment described above, one of attentive, secure, and sacrificial love? If not, have you (or do you) get stuck playing the "What if?" game? What if my parents didn't divorce when I was four? What if my Mom didn't marry a guy who introduced me to life in the country and bought me my first horse? What if my Dad didn't marry a woman who has prayed for me and guided me spiritually since the moment I met her? What if my mom didn't have that car accident and become a quadriplegic when I was 16? What if? What if? What if?!
"An environment is needed for the flourishing of every kind of life...Much more is required; a living environment, circumstances that will allow the person who wishes to live to breathe, grow, and nourish himself. If the environment disappears, so does the life..." ~Fr. Bernard Bro
If we are (at least in part) products of our environment, how different would you be today if your environment was different, for better or worse? We can't really know for sure, but we can remember this when we see someone who has done something we would never do. "If the environment disappears, so does the life..."
Have you noticed that those who were deprived of a loving environment quickly attribute their lack of development, negative attributes, or lack of virtue to it? They inherently know they didn't receive what was crucial for their development. And yet, those who were well-loved and provided for, are able to flourish and excel without needing to examine why. They just know that nothing is holding them back.
What kind of environment do you create for those around you? Something like Heaven or closer to Hell?
"It seems that each one of us creates either heaven or hell on earth for those around us, by what we say and do, by what is in our hearts. We have the power to bring division and pain, or to bring peace and joy." ~Susan Conroy
The environment we create in our homes is largely unseen by others, and it is all-too-easy to buy into the lie that "there are no achievements where there is no recognition." "The private world is the world of intimate relationships without which we cannot live fully human or happy lives; it is the realm where the individual is cherished and the memories that give us a sense of self and connection are most readily built." ~Endow study guide
Environment. Not trees and carbon footprints and global warming. Your environment. Think about your space, your home, your life. Are you creating the environment you intend to create? Do you like being in the environment you've created? If you don't, don't worry, because you are the solution! You can begin changing it as soon as you decide. Pick one thing and go with it. Be specific!!
Being more loving, more kind, less selfish, etc. are nice, but vague! What does that look like? Are you going to say more nice things or abstain from saying a few mean things? Wash the dishes without complaining? Do one thing at a time? Spend more time in prayer? When? Get up earlier? Go out (joyfully) when you'd rather stay home, or stay home (joyfully) when you'd rather go out? Play Legos instead of check email? The sky is the limit, but keep your feet on the ground and stick with specifics!
Aside from participating in the miraculous creation of another human being, your environment is the most important thing you will ever create. It is not always easy to see, but it is something that is always felt.
Dear Heavenly Father and Creator of all that is Good, Thank you for parents who created an environment where learning to love was easy. Thank you for allowing us to participate in Creation - Creation of bodies and souls, and creation of the environment where we live. Lord, we lift up those who were left wanting in their childhood, and pray that you send them people who can show them Your love. Please convict us of the importance of what we are doing in our homes, that which few people ever see. Help us to reject the notion that what we are doing has no value. Please fill our hearts with Your love, so that it may spill over onto those with whom our encounters are many and close. Help us to create an environment where love reigns and self serves. Amen.
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