"I love humanity,' he said, ' but I wonder at myself. The more I love humanity in general, the less I love man in particular. In my dreams, he said, 'I have often come to making enthusiastic schemes for the service of humanity, and perhaps I might actually have faced crucifixion if it had been suddenly necessary; and yet I am incapable of living in the same room with any one for two days together, as I know by experience. As soon as anyone is near me, his personality disturbs my self-complacency and restricts my freedom. In twenty-four hours I begin to hate the best of men: one because he's too long over his dinner; another because he has a cold and keeps on blowing his nose. I become hostile to people the moment they come close to me. But it has always happened that the more I detest men individually the more ardent becomes my love for humanity."
"I came with horror to the conclusion that, if anything could dissipate my love to humanity, it would be ingratitude. In short, I am a hired servant, I expect my payment at once - that is, praise, and the repayment of love with love. Otherwise, I am incapable of loving any one."
~Quotes from two different people in The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
In my women's group today, the following question was posed, "Jesus set down certain conditions for those who wanted to be His disciples. In Matthew 16:24 we read, 'If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.' How has Christ presented you with the Cross in your life? Has it strengthened your faith?"
Our discussion centered around the crosses of everyday life - Usually those that involve relationship, ingratitude, selfishness, and unmet expectations. The heaviest of these crosses are those which we have been carrying for a long time, and there has been no sign of positive change. The wounds get deeper with the passing of time, and we are tempted to eliminate the source of them (the person who is repeatedly hurting or frustrating us). We don't want to be so foolish as to allow other people to continually hurt us. So, we become paralyzed in the relationship. We want the situation to improve, but the other person won't allow it.
Consider the following:
"If we only had faith we should show good-will to all creatures; we should cherish them and be interiorly grateful to them as serving, by God's will, for our perfection."
~ Fr. Jean Pierre de Caussade
"Harm does not come to us from external circumstances, but from how we react to them interiorly. The harm that other people do to me, never comes from them, it comes from me."
"We have no right to identify people with the wrong they do. That would be to imprison them and lose all hope in their regard. Nor can we identify anyone - especially not ourselves - with the good they do."
"It is consoling to know that we can draw great spiritual profit from a trial with nothing spiritual about it."
~Interior Freedom, Jacques Phillipe
"Vain are all our lookings around to companions and relatives; they are broken reeds if we lean upon them - often unwilling when able and unable when they are willing. Since the promise comes alone from God, it would be well to wait only upon Him, and when we do so, our expectation never fails us. In all times of fiery trial, in patience let us possess our souls." ~Charles Spurgeon
Sometimes things seem very complicated when we are in the center of the relationship matrix. However, we should strive to imitate Christ's simplicity. If someone hurts us repeatedly, we are called to forgive repeatedly. We need to know that sometimes a difficult conversation is required to "clear the air". We are very hesitant to do this because we don't want to hurt anyone. However,
"The Christian ideal is not to avoid hurting people, but to avoid harming them. Peter probably did not feel very good after Jesus said to him, 'Get behind me, Satan.'" ~The Art of Christian Listening, Thomas Hart
We are called to speak the truth, in love. And we've heard it a million times - Sometimes, the truth hurts. If you think an uncomfortable dialogue is in your future, be encouraged. Pray. Ask God for wisdom. Spend some time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Write down what you want to say. Ask God if he approves it. Consider whether you will still think engaging in dialogue was best, even if it is not well-received.
"Human beings are more than the sum of the good they can accomplish. They are children of God, whether they do good or cannot yet manage to do anything. Our Father in heaven does not love us because of the good we do. He loves us for ourselves, because he has adopted us as His children forever.
This is why humility, spiritual poverty, is so precious: it locates our identity securely in the one place where it will be safe from all harm. If our treasure is in God, no one can take it from us."
`Interior Freedom, Jacques Phillipe
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the truth of who You are, and for calling us so clearly to be like You. Please grant us prudence and wisdom for the relationships in our lives, especially those that are painful to us. You know we are tempted to protect ourselves at all costs, and yet, You don't. Help us to realize that our love for humanity must boil down to love of man, with all of his irritating faults and shortcomings. Lord, thank you for loving us into existence and loving us just because. Help us to imitate Your mercy, Your forgiveness, and Your love. Please give us the grace to detach ourselves from our expectations of others, and to look only to You for our every need. I love You. Amen.
Showing posts with label Mercy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mercy. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Monday, December 17, 2012
A Day in the Life of a Young, Single Mom
Can you imagine living by this schedule every day or even for one?
_______________________________________________________________________
*Get yourself, a 2-month-old and 16-month-old fed, dressed (warmly), and out the door to walk a block to the nearest bus stop by 9am.
*Take the bus to the pediatrician's office
*After the appointment, take the bus to drop off your kids at daycare
*Take the bus to H-E-B. Work from 12pm-8:30pm.
*Take the bus back to the daycare center to pick up your children
*Take the bus home
*Bathe kids and put them to bed
*Repeat tomorrow morning
_____________________________________________________________________
This past Friday, I picked up this mother and her two kids at the bus stop because they were waiting in the cold. In the short time between the bus stop and the doctor's office, I learned that she was from Kansas City, MO and moved here to find work. She moved here with nothing, but her daughter, and lived in a women's shelter upon her arrival. After moving here, she learned she was pregnant. She said she has plans to begin school soon. I didn't ask when or how that would come to pass.
I dropped them off and headed home to my cozy little house to work on sorting some things for the Good Samaritan project. I couldn't stop thinking about how wonderfully simple and easy my life was compared to this young mother's! The only things on my schedule for that day were things I volunteered to do! A few hours later, I visited an elderly friend for lunch. We were seated around a table with 6 elderly widows. I relayed my encounter with the young mother. A lady in a Santa hat quickly replied from across the table, "After you have the first one, you know where they come from after that!"
I was so wrapped up in trying to imagine living that young mother's life, that I didn't have time to blame her for her circumstances. It hadn't occurred to me that her life didn't have to be so hard. But, it is. The choices have been made and they are being "paid for" daily.
As a mother who unintentionally had 2 children less than a year apart, I know how ignorance works. I also know how those ignorant and unintentional choices can add beauty and love to the world, beyond all imagination.
I have often thought that if the Lord were to bless me with a vast amount of time and money, I would pour myself into a ministry for single mothers. No matter the path they took to get there, they are there. They are trying to do singly, what I sometimes struggle to do with help; help from another who is equally responsible for my children.
Christ continually comes to us in the middle of our self-made messes. He never says, "You know, it didn't have to be so hard." "You made your bed. Now, lie in it." "Peter, I'm not going to pull you out of the water. You shouldn't have looked down."
God is a just and merciful God. His mercy prevails over His Justice!!
"Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul's distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My Goodness. My heart rejoices in this title of mercy...the greatest attribute of God." ~Diary of Sister Faustina
Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from appearances, but look for what is beautiful in my neighbor's souls and come to their rescue.
Help me, that my ears may be merciful, so that I may give heed to my neighbor's needs an not be indifferent to their pains and moanings.
Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may be merciful, so that I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but have a word of comfort and forgiveness for all...
(Sr. Faustina's prayer)
_______________________________________________________________________
*Get yourself, a 2-month-old and 16-month-old fed, dressed (warmly), and out the door to walk a block to the nearest bus stop by 9am.
*Take the bus to the pediatrician's office
*After the appointment, take the bus to drop off your kids at daycare
*Take the bus to H-E-B. Work from 12pm-8:30pm.
*Take the bus back to the daycare center to pick up your children
*Take the bus home
*Bathe kids and put them to bed
*Repeat tomorrow morning
_____________________________________________________________________
This past Friday, I picked up this mother and her two kids at the bus stop because they were waiting in the cold. In the short time between the bus stop and the doctor's office, I learned that she was from Kansas City, MO and moved here to find work. She moved here with nothing, but her daughter, and lived in a women's shelter upon her arrival. After moving here, she learned she was pregnant. She said she has plans to begin school soon. I didn't ask when or how that would come to pass.
I dropped them off and headed home to my cozy little house to work on sorting some things for the Good Samaritan project. I couldn't stop thinking about how wonderfully simple and easy my life was compared to this young mother's! The only things on my schedule for that day were things I volunteered to do! A few hours later, I visited an elderly friend for lunch. We were seated around a table with 6 elderly widows. I relayed my encounter with the young mother. A lady in a Santa hat quickly replied from across the table, "After you have the first one, you know where they come from after that!"
I was so wrapped up in trying to imagine living that young mother's life, that I didn't have time to blame her for her circumstances. It hadn't occurred to me that her life didn't have to be so hard. But, it is. The choices have been made and they are being "paid for" daily.
As a mother who unintentionally had 2 children less than a year apart, I know how ignorance works. I also know how those ignorant and unintentional choices can add beauty and love to the world, beyond all imagination.
I have often thought that if the Lord were to bless me with a vast amount of time and money, I would pour myself into a ministry for single mothers. No matter the path they took to get there, they are there. They are trying to do singly, what I sometimes struggle to do with help; help from another who is equally responsible for my children.
Christ continually comes to us in the middle of our self-made messes. He never says, "You know, it didn't have to be so hard." "You made your bed. Now, lie in it." "Peter, I'm not going to pull you out of the water. You shouldn't have looked down."
God is a just and merciful God. His mercy prevails over His Justice!!
"Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul's distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My Goodness. My heart rejoices in this title of mercy...the greatest attribute of God." ~Diary of Sister Faustina
Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from appearances, but look for what is beautiful in my neighbor's souls and come to their rescue.
Help me, that my ears may be merciful, so that I may give heed to my neighbor's needs an not be indifferent to their pains and moanings.
Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may be merciful, so that I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but have a word of comfort and forgiveness for all...
(Sr. Faustina's prayer)
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Letter to A Tormented Soul
I have several people whom I love dearly who are tormented souls. I wrote this letter to one of them in the Adoration chapel last night. I just removed the names to give them the respect they deserve. But, I want to share this with you, as well. These souls in our lives need us tremendously. Let us do everything in our power to intercede for them...
Good morning. I was praying for you in Adoration last night after I got off the phone with M. She mentioned that you are in a dark place and S told me the same thing a few weeks ago. M told me you stopped receiving Communion. She said you feel unworthy, because that's the message you keep hearing. Anyway, I was just going to pray for you, but I felt like I was supposed to write you instead, so I spent my Holy Hour writing you...
I read a book called Unbound. It talked about understanding strategies of the enemy...What is his plan? What is the foundational lie? What areas of the person's life are being held in bondage? God has a plan for your life, which includes a life of peace, love, and joy. However, satan also has a plan for your life. If this is true, what do you think satan's plan for your life would look like?
I have a guess. You would hate your job. You would hate too little free time. You would hate too much free time. You would hate yourself. You would isolate yourself from everyone who loves you. You would stop receiving the sacraments - Reconciliation and especially Communion. You would believe that your thoughts and sins are greater than God's capacity for love and mercy. You would believe that the devil's power is greater than God's power. You would believe that your life would be better or more fulfilling, if only the circumstances were different. You would feel helpless and hopeless.
If this is true for you, it would seem that satan has the upper hand at the moment. The good news is that his gig is up when you hit the Confessional and receive the Body of Christ!
The devil is a liar. He will do anything in his power to keep you from Jesus' side and trusting in His mercy. "At the heart of satan's attack upon you in his attempt to rob you of your true identity and destiny. satan will do anything he can to keep you from knowing God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." (Neal Lozano in Unbound).
If you think you are the worst sinner in the world, Jesus has plenty to say about that, as St. Faustina recorded in her diary:
"Let the greatest sinners place their trust in My mercy. They have the right before others to trust in the abyss of My mercy...I cannot punish even the greatest sinner if he makes an appeal to My compassion, but on the contrary, I justify Him in My unfathomable and inscrutable mercy. Before I come as a just Judge, I first open wide the door of My mercy. He who refuses to pass through the door of My mercy must pass through the door of My justice."
"My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire world. Who can measure the extent of My goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed Myself to be nailed to the Cross; for you I let My Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come, then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. You misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy. Do not argue with Me about your wretchedness. You will give Me pleasure if you hand over to Me all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you treasures of My grace."
"Oh, soul steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost. Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy."
I think you can relate to what Thomas Merton writes of his own experience in The Seven Storey Mountain:
"But now I lay on this bed, full of gangrene, and my soul was rotten with the corruption of my sins. And I did not even care whether I died or lived. The worst thing that can happen to anyone in this life is to lose all sense of these realities...
What is more, there was nothing I could do for myself. There was absolutely no means, no natural means within reach, for getting me out of that state. Only God could help me. Who prayed for me? One day I shall know. But, in the economy of God's love, it is through the prayers of other men that these graces were given. It was through the prayers of someone who loved God that I was, one day, to be delivered out of that hell where I was already confined without knowing it."
I love you. I am that person praying for you. So is M, D, M, and S. You have lots of someones through which you will be delivered out of that hell where you are already confined without knowing it.
Please go to Confession and receive the Eucharist. We can pray for the rest.
I love you and I want to spend eternity with you, and that means that satan does not get his way.
Peace and Much Love,
Heidi Ann
Good morning. I was praying for you in Adoration last night after I got off the phone with M. She mentioned that you are in a dark place and S told me the same thing a few weeks ago. M told me you stopped receiving Communion. She said you feel unworthy, because that's the message you keep hearing. Anyway, I was just going to pray for you, but I felt like I was supposed to write you instead, so I spent my Holy Hour writing you...
I read a book called Unbound. It talked about understanding strategies of the enemy...What is his plan? What is the foundational lie? What areas of the person's life are being held in bondage? God has a plan for your life, which includes a life of peace, love, and joy. However, satan also has a plan for your life. If this is true, what do you think satan's plan for your life would look like?
I have a guess. You would hate your job. You would hate too little free time. You would hate too much free time. You would hate yourself. You would isolate yourself from everyone who loves you. You would stop receiving the sacraments - Reconciliation and especially Communion. You would believe that your thoughts and sins are greater than God's capacity for love and mercy. You would believe that the devil's power is greater than God's power. You would believe that your life would be better or more fulfilling, if only the circumstances were different. You would feel helpless and hopeless.
If this is true for you, it would seem that satan has the upper hand at the moment. The good news is that his gig is up when you hit the Confessional and receive the Body of Christ!
The devil is a liar. He will do anything in his power to keep you from Jesus' side and trusting in His mercy. "At the heart of satan's attack upon you in his attempt to rob you of your true identity and destiny. satan will do anything he can to keep you from knowing God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." (Neal Lozano in Unbound).
If you think you are the worst sinner in the world, Jesus has plenty to say about that, as St. Faustina recorded in her diary:
"Let the greatest sinners place their trust in My mercy. They have the right before others to trust in the abyss of My mercy...I cannot punish even the greatest sinner if he makes an appeal to My compassion, but on the contrary, I justify Him in My unfathomable and inscrutable mercy. Before I come as a just Judge, I first open wide the door of My mercy. He who refuses to pass through the door of My mercy must pass through the door of My justice."
"My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire world. Who can measure the extent of My goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed Myself to be nailed to the Cross; for you I let My Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come, then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. You misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy. Do not argue with Me about your wretchedness. You will give Me pleasure if you hand over to Me all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you treasures of My grace."
"Oh, soul steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost. Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy."
I think you can relate to what Thomas Merton writes of his own experience in The Seven Storey Mountain:
"But now I lay on this bed, full of gangrene, and my soul was rotten with the corruption of my sins. And I did not even care whether I died or lived. The worst thing that can happen to anyone in this life is to lose all sense of these realities...
What is more, there was nothing I could do for myself. There was absolutely no means, no natural means within reach, for getting me out of that state. Only God could help me. Who prayed for me? One day I shall know. But, in the economy of God's love, it is through the prayers of other men that these graces were given. It was through the prayers of someone who loved God that I was, one day, to be delivered out of that hell where I was already confined without knowing it."
I love you. I am that person praying for you. So is M, D, M, and S. You have lots of someones through which you will be delivered out of that hell where you are already confined without knowing it.
Please go to Confession and receive the Eucharist. We can pray for the rest.
I love you and I want to spend eternity with you, and that means that satan does not get his way.
Peace and Much Love,
Heidi Ann
Thursday, May 3, 2012
We Are Called...To Be Deep-Sea Divers?!
An excerpt from Consoling the Heart of Jesus by Michael Gaitley on looking for and finding the good in others:
"In overcoming temptations to go from the merciful to the judgmental outlook, it's good to be like a deep-sea diver who searches for sunken treasure.
...Most of the time, I think our responsibility lies in deep-sea diving...such a diver knows there's treasure down there, and he goes for it.
In the saints, no diving is necessary...a volcano of love erupted in them and became a beautiful tropical island that displays its abundant treasure right there on the sun swept beach.
In most of us, however, the treaure is still underwater, and it may even be lying on the ocean floor. But, it's down there, and its worth diving for. We need not fear the murky water (the hardness of heart) nor pay attention to the sea monsters (the other's annoying personality traits). If the sharks come out (meanness or certain kinds of inappropriateness), we don't have to stay (and sometimes we shouldn't), but the little bites from the other sea monsters are nothing compared to the delight that comes from finding the treasure that lies on the ocean floor."
Dear God, Thank you for visuals. Thank you for seeing the treasure within us. Please give us the grace to "go deep" for others when we need to. Lord, help us develop this holy habit. Help us leave our judgment behind and persevere in our treasure hunt. We know that You are ultimately the Treasure we will find. Help us find You, Lord, in every person we encounter. Amen.
"In overcoming temptations to go from the merciful to the judgmental outlook, it's good to be like a deep-sea diver who searches for sunken treasure.
...Most of the time, I think our responsibility lies in deep-sea diving...such a diver knows there's treasure down there, and he goes for it.
In the saints, no diving is necessary...a volcano of love erupted in them and became a beautiful tropical island that displays its abundant treasure right there on the sun swept beach.
In most of us, however, the treaure is still underwater, and it may even be lying on the ocean floor. But, it's down there, and its worth diving for. We need not fear the murky water (the hardness of heart) nor pay attention to the sea monsters (the other's annoying personality traits). If the sharks come out (meanness or certain kinds of inappropriateness), we don't have to stay (and sometimes we shouldn't), but the little bites from the other sea monsters are nothing compared to the delight that comes from finding the treasure that lies on the ocean floor."
Dear God, Thank you for visuals. Thank you for seeing the treasure within us. Please give us the grace to "go deep" for others when we need to. Lord, help us develop this holy habit. Help us leave our judgment behind and persevere in our treasure hunt. We know that You are ultimately the Treasure we will find. Help us find You, Lord, in every person we encounter. Amen.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
The Merciful Outlook
We have incredible power with and over one another. I am the transportation coordinator for my Church and through that ministry am developing a relationship with a 52-year old woman who suffers from bipolar disorder and schizophrenia (although I have not seen any symptoms). She says she is in remission right now, her symptoms are well-controlled with medication. Anyway, in our conversation on Friday, I asked her if she had struggled with this her whole life. No, it started when she was 17. I asked her if something happened. She said Yes, but she'd rather not say in front of my 3-year-old son. The only other thing she said was, "At the time, I thought I was the only one it ever happened to, but now I think it happens to a lot of people."
Someone, or multiple people, changed the course of her life in a single day. How many times has this happened in the course of history? We have incredible power and tremendous responsibility to the people whose lives we touch. Even with our gaze.
In Consoling the Heart of Jesus by Michael Gaitley, it is written, "The person who receives the merciful outlook from another sees reflected in the eyes of the other the words "You are great." However, these words are also a call to greatness. For, while the greatness truly is there - the other person sees it! - it's not fully there.
The person who receives the merciful outlook knows that the greatness he sees reflected back at him in the eye of the other is tragically not all there in him, because he can also feel the gaze of his own "inner eye", his conscience. This inner eye makes him tragically aware of not being who he's meant to be, which is terrible. For, there's still the gaze of the other, at least in memory, constantly echoing the words, "You are great." So, the person feels himself in the midst of the terrible drama of having to choose either to be the person he presently is or the person he's called to become, either the person of mediocrity or the awe-inspiring person he was destined to be from before the foundation of the world (See Mt. 25:34, Eph. 1:4)..."
Beautiful. I hope you have and recognize the times when someone has looked at you this way. I do. We can (and should) do this for each other. There is incredible power in it. Let's use our power to elevate and add to the dignity of the other. My prayer is that I can give the merciful outlook to everyone I meet, especially those that live under my roof.
Dear God, thank you for Your mercy. Thank you for making all things work to the good of those who love You, especially those things that change the course of a life. Thank you for Your merciful gaze. Please help me extend it to all of the people You place in my life. Amen.
Someone, or multiple people, changed the course of her life in a single day. How many times has this happened in the course of history? We have incredible power and tremendous responsibility to the people whose lives we touch. Even with our gaze.
In Consoling the Heart of Jesus by Michael Gaitley, it is written, "The person who receives the merciful outlook from another sees reflected in the eyes of the other the words "You are great." However, these words are also a call to greatness. For, while the greatness truly is there - the other person sees it! - it's not fully there.
The person who receives the merciful outlook knows that the greatness he sees reflected back at him in the eye of the other is tragically not all there in him, because he can also feel the gaze of his own "inner eye", his conscience. This inner eye makes him tragically aware of not being who he's meant to be, which is terrible. For, there's still the gaze of the other, at least in memory, constantly echoing the words, "You are great." So, the person feels himself in the midst of the terrible drama of having to choose either to be the person he presently is or the person he's called to become, either the person of mediocrity or the awe-inspiring person he was destined to be from before the foundation of the world (See Mt. 25:34, Eph. 1:4)..."
Beautiful. I hope you have and recognize the times when someone has looked at you this way. I do. We can (and should) do this for each other. There is incredible power in it. Let's use our power to elevate and add to the dignity of the other. My prayer is that I can give the merciful outlook to everyone I meet, especially those that live under my roof.
Dear God, thank you for Your mercy. Thank you for making all things work to the good of those who love You, especially those things that change the course of a life. Thank you for Your merciful gaze. Please help me extend it to all of the people You place in my life. Amen.
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