Twenty years ago, on March 20, 1994, I awoke to a knock on the door early in the morning. My Mom's brother and best friend were standing there. They told me my Mom had been in a car accident, and flown to a bigger city for the "right kind of doctor", and something about a hurt back. I remember thinking that she probably wouldn't be able to lift anything heavy for awhile, but not much beyond that. When we drove to see her later that day, I found her all puffy lying in a bed with a metal halo attached to her skull, abrasions on her arms, in a room that smelled like blood and medicine, I guess. Oddly enough, I don't remember anything about her left wrist which was completely shattered. Worst fracture the orthopedist has seen in 10 years, as I recall. I remember asking about how she got this mark, or that mark, and when she answered that she didn't know, she sounded like a robot and said something like "I'll be fine."
Unlike my older sister, I don't remember being told that she'd never walk again. Maybe that happened during the following week when I was gone on my high school spring break choir trip to Disneyworld. I didn't want to go, but everyone felt it was best. Mom was going to live, and beyond that, there wasn't anything I could offer by staying. So, I went.
For the following three months, Mom lived in the rehabilitation hospital, re-learning how to eat, brush teeth, bathe, and basically, survive. This is the same hospital I visited, so she could see me in my junior Prom dress. The same hospital where we slowly learned what our new life would look like. Throughout this time, my younger brother and I lived with our aunt and uncle. We were 16 and 14.
My mother became a quadriplegic on that fateful night, 20 years ago. She broke her neck and left wrist. She was 43-years-old. It has been a long, long road. Lots of things come with a lack of mobility. Bed sores, incontinence, pneumonia, blood clots, digestive issues, chronic pain, total lack of privacy and self-sufficiency, and all manner of emotional and psychological adjustments besides.
But, none of these are why I'm writing today. Today, I am thankful for what I have gained from walking with my Mom through part of her journey. Through it all, I was only her right-hand lady for about four years, and a back-up beyond that. But, I learned a lot in 4 years. I wish that I could say that I served her well. But, I was often bitter and unkind. However, twenty years later, my experiences with her are still positively impacting the decisions I make.
On Monday, I am going to embark on a new chapter in my life - pursuing hospital chaplaincy. This begins with a 10-week internship at a local hospital, and will follow with a Master's degree in Pastoral Theology. I could not feel more suited or more excited. Because of my mother's accident, I took the course to become an Emergency Medical Technician during my Senior year of high school. From there, I worked in our county's EMS service and emergency room through college and beyond. I loved the people, I loved the work, and I loved the environment.
As my youngest starts kindergarten next year, it is time for me to expand my stay-at-home-mom gig. As Providence would have it, all of my personal experience, work experience, and passion about the spiritual life are coming together as a new vocation. I am going to be a hospital chaplain.
I'm with my Mom and all fellow Christians when I repeat Romans 8:28 from the bottom of my heart,
We know that all things work for good for those who love God - who are called according to his purpose.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for my Mom. Thank you for preserving her life. Thank you for her perseverance, her forgiveness, and her continual effort to grow closer to You. Thank you for my aunt and uncle who absorbed us into their lives, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Please give me the grace to imitate them, when others look to me for something they should be receiving from someone else. Thank you for my co-workers through my EMS years, and for their model of Christianity in the workforce. Thank you for all of the opportunities You have afforded me because of another's misfortune. Thank you for all of the things that seem easy, because of going through something really hard. Please purify all of the good that I do poorly today, and all of the days of my life. Please bless my pursuit to become a hospital chaplain, if that is in fact Your Will for me. If not, please take away my desire and replace it with Yours. Amen
Friday, March 21, 2014
Friday, February 28, 2014
Asking For It
I attended my annual silent retreat this past weekend, and have a new list of graces to ask God for (as encouraged by Fr. Anthony Sortino, L.C.). I want to share them so that you may use them to build your relationship with Christ. It's good to be reminded that they exist, and are there for the asking...
Don't leave your presents unopened - they are graces every one.
And you need them as long as you have a room down here.
Upstairs is a Holy Place, lit up by His Holy Face.
And there are unopened presents lying all around.
But all of the people who need those gifts are not Upstairs, they are down.
Seek, and you will not be disappointed.
Knock, and the door will be opened.
Ask, and you shall receive.
Your graces are lying in wait, beautifully wrapped where you can't see them.
So, look up and ask for what is yours, because they're still there, and you still need them.
September 2010
Ask for the grace of...
~The gift of deeper union with Christ.
~To know how He loves.
~To know how He loves YOU.
~To feel thirst for love, to be drawn to God.
~To believe in the promise of love that He has made us. To reject any insecurity, mistrust, fear, inadequacy. "We make our stand with our Lord!"
~To shed expectation. To acknowledge your God-given desires, and give what you have. Let God delight in perfecting you. Vacillate between desire and surrender.
~The grace to accept sufferings with joy.
~To love God SO much that we embrace the purification He allows.
~Greater trust and surrender.
~Surrender, detachment, forgiveness.
~The grace to suffer with Jesus.
~To trust in God's promises. To trust in the ONE who makes the promises.
~To learn, accept, and love yourself as one who is given a new name - a name which tells who you are, in God's eyes.
Dear Eternal Father, Thank you for Your graces! Thank you for drawing near to us, when we draw near to You (James 4:8). You gave us free will. I offer it back to You, and ask You not to allow me to forget You, nor forget to ask for Your grace in all circumstances. I want to be who You intended before I drew my first breath. I want to live up to my new name, accept it, and see myself as You see me. Thank you for all that was, is, and is to come. Amen.
Don't leave your presents unopened - they are graces every one.
And you need them as long as you have a room down here.
Upstairs is a Holy Place, lit up by His Holy Face.
And there are unopened presents lying all around.
But all of the people who need those gifts are not Upstairs, they are down.
Seek, and you will not be disappointed.
Knock, and the door will be opened.
Ask, and you shall receive.
Your graces are lying in wait, beautifully wrapped where you can't see them.
So, look up and ask for what is yours, because they're still there, and you still need them.
September 2010
Ask for the grace of...
~The gift of deeper union with Christ.
~To know how He loves.
~To know how He loves YOU.
~To feel thirst for love, to be drawn to God.
~To believe in the promise of love that He has made us. To reject any insecurity, mistrust, fear, inadequacy. "We make our stand with our Lord!"
~To shed expectation. To acknowledge your God-given desires, and give what you have. Let God delight in perfecting you. Vacillate between desire and surrender.
~The grace to accept sufferings with joy.
~To love God SO much that we embrace the purification He allows.
~Greater trust and surrender.
~Surrender, detachment, forgiveness.
~The grace to suffer with Jesus.
~To trust in God's promises. To trust in the ONE who makes the promises.
~To learn, accept, and love yourself as one who is given a new name - a name which tells who you are, in God's eyes.
Dear Eternal Father, Thank you for Your graces! Thank you for drawing near to us, when we draw near to You (James 4:8). You gave us free will. I offer it back to You, and ask You not to allow me to forget You, nor forget to ask for Your grace in all circumstances. I want to be who You intended before I drew my first breath. I want to live up to my new name, accept it, and see myself as You see me. Thank you for all that was, is, and is to come. Amen.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Lust In the Light
Disclaimer: Neither my husband's character or actions have anything to do with this post. He is an incredible husband, father, and man striving to do God's will, and he has never broken my trust. In fact, what started my thinking on this subject, are the incredible strides he's making in his spiritual life. His courage gave me the courage to think about temptations he might be facing. However, I am imperfect, which means I love imperfectly, too. In this case, I am too attached to him, and take him (and all that happens in his life) too personally. His only connection is that he married me.
[Those whose joy is unpossessive of things] have nothing in their heart, but possess everything with greater liberty (2Cor. 6:10); the others, insofar as they possess things with attachment, neither have nor possess anything. Rather their heart is held by things and they suffer as a captive...and spend all their time going to and from about the snare to which their heart is tied." Ascent of Mt. Carmel, St. John of the Cross (AMC)
So, because I'd rather not share these thoughts, and it might also be helpful for you, I must. The prayer at the end of my Gospel reflection this morning convicted me of that. "Lord Jesus, open my eyes to the revelation of your healing presence and saving word. Help me to walk according to your truth and to not stumble in the darkness of sin. May I help others find your healing light and saving presence."
That's pretty much it. I'm stumbling, and I want my stumbling to be fruitful - for myself, for my husband, and for all who can relate to anything written here. I'm stumbling around this not-so-little thing called lust. But, it's not my own lust that's the problem, it's the idea of it. The idea of a spouse (mine, in particular) lusting after another. I don't fully understand it, and I never see it, but the following passage treats my curiosity about it...
"Bernard [of Clairvaux] reminds us that is was curiosity that led to the Fall originally, and speaks of Eve. 'Why are you always glancing at it [the forbidden fruit]? What is the good looking at what you are forbidden to eat?...For when you are looking intently at something, the serpent slips into your heart and coaxes you. He leads on your reason with flattery; he awakes your fear with lies...He increases your interest while he stirs up your greed. He sharpens your curiosity while he prompts your desire. He offers what is forbidden and takes away what is given. He holds out an apple and snatches away paradise.'" On the Steps of Humility and Pride by B. Clairvaux, as quoted in The Fulfillment of All Desire, by Ralph Martin
I think it is easy for me to dwell on lust for three reasons: It is extremely private so it rarely makes its way into conversation. I'm insecure. My love needs to be purified.
Thinking about lust (when I am neither the lust-er or the lust-ed) leaves me feeling deceived and betrayed, but this is just the beginning. I allow it to exert power over me, and the relationships in my life because:
1. I can't change the emotions or actions of another.
2. It allows me to feel superior and sit in judgment.
3. It creates emotional distance.
4. It encourages me to characterize a person only by their fault, and rob them of their dignity.
5. I'm equally enslaved by my reaction to their fault, as much as the other may be by the sin itself.
6. It binds my love. "They cannot rejoice in them [those they love]if they hold them with possessiveness, for this is a care that, like a trap, holds the spirit to earth, and does not allow wideness of heart." - AMC
7. It has me breaking 8 of the 15 rules on Mother Teresa's humility list, which you can find here, if you're interested: http://panhandlefranciscans.blogspot.com/2012/05/mother-teresas-humility-list.html
Last night, I finished reading Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurdard, in preparation for my upcoming silent retreat. The main character is Much-Afraid, and at the end, she makes some pretty awesome revelations about her journey. This Much-Afraid did, too.
"Therefore, I begin to think, my Lord, You purposely allow us to be brought into contact with the bad and evil things that you want changed...that is the only satisfactory way of dealing with evil, not simply binding it so that it cannot work harm, but whenever possible overcoming it with good."
"They [her ugly Fearing cousins] were indwelt and tormented by their different besetting [something that is tempting, harassing, or assailing you] sins and ugly natures, just as she had been by her fears...She could scarcely bear the thought, yet for so many years she had not only feared, but condemned them, had actually 'disdained their misery', telling herself it was their own fault...Yes, she, detestable, fear-enslaved Much Afraid had actually dared to disdain them for the things which made them so wretched and ugly when she herself was equally wretched and enslaved."
So, where's the good that comes from lust? Maybe it's in this post. Maybe it's the dim light shed on a subject which loves to dwell in the darkness. Maybe it's just the good that it has done me to spell-it-out, and the humility I've gained by doing so. Maybe the good is something that I can't perceive or know nothing about. Maybe the good is that "perfection consists in fighting against [imperfections]." ~St. Francis de Sales. Or maybe it is all of these things.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this gorgeous day, and endless reasons to praise you. Please forgive me for my sins, most especially for sitting in judgment of another, reducing another to their faults, and being enslaved by something other than love. Lord, please draw near to those who struggle with lust and intercede for those who are affected by it. You know our intimate struggles. You have promised that there is always a way out, if we desire it. Please give us the grace to desire a way out, and to forgive ourselves and others when we fail. Make us love you more and more, and our neighbor, for love of You. Amen.
[Those whose joy is unpossessive of things] have nothing in their heart, but possess everything with greater liberty (2Cor. 6:10); the others, insofar as they possess things with attachment, neither have nor possess anything. Rather their heart is held by things and they suffer as a captive...and spend all their time going to and from about the snare to which their heart is tied." Ascent of Mt. Carmel, St. John of the Cross (AMC)
So, because I'd rather not share these thoughts, and it might also be helpful for you, I must. The prayer at the end of my Gospel reflection this morning convicted me of that. "Lord Jesus, open my eyes to the revelation of your healing presence and saving word. Help me to walk according to your truth and to not stumble in the darkness of sin. May I help others find your healing light and saving presence."
That's pretty much it. I'm stumbling, and I want my stumbling to be fruitful - for myself, for my husband, and for all who can relate to anything written here. I'm stumbling around this not-so-little thing called lust. But, it's not my own lust that's the problem, it's the idea of it. The idea of a spouse (mine, in particular) lusting after another. I don't fully understand it, and I never see it, but the following passage treats my curiosity about it...
"Bernard [of Clairvaux] reminds us that is was curiosity that led to the Fall originally, and speaks of Eve. 'Why are you always glancing at it [the forbidden fruit]? What is the good looking at what you are forbidden to eat?...For when you are looking intently at something, the serpent slips into your heart and coaxes you. He leads on your reason with flattery; he awakes your fear with lies...He increases your interest while he stirs up your greed. He sharpens your curiosity while he prompts your desire. He offers what is forbidden and takes away what is given. He holds out an apple and snatches away paradise.'" On the Steps of Humility and Pride by B. Clairvaux, as quoted in The Fulfillment of All Desire, by Ralph Martin
I think it is easy for me to dwell on lust for three reasons: It is extremely private so it rarely makes its way into conversation. I'm insecure. My love needs to be purified.
Thinking about lust (when I am neither the lust-er or the lust-ed) leaves me feeling deceived and betrayed, but this is just the beginning. I allow it to exert power over me, and the relationships in my life because:
1. I can't change the emotions or actions of another.
2. It allows me to feel superior and sit in judgment.
3. It creates emotional distance.
4. It encourages me to characterize a person only by their fault, and rob them of their dignity.
5. I'm equally enslaved by my reaction to their fault, as much as the other may be by the sin itself.
6. It binds my love. "They cannot rejoice in them [those they love]if they hold them with possessiveness, for this is a care that, like a trap, holds the spirit to earth, and does not allow wideness of heart." - AMC
7. It has me breaking 8 of the 15 rules on Mother Teresa's humility list, which you can find here, if you're interested: http://panhandlefranciscans.blogspot.com/2012/05/mother-teresas-humility-list.html
Last night, I finished reading Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurdard, in preparation for my upcoming silent retreat. The main character is Much-Afraid, and at the end, she makes some pretty awesome revelations about her journey. This Much-Afraid did, too.
"Therefore, I begin to think, my Lord, You purposely allow us to be brought into contact with the bad and evil things that you want changed...that is the only satisfactory way of dealing with evil, not simply binding it so that it cannot work harm, but whenever possible overcoming it with good."
"They [her ugly Fearing cousins] were indwelt and tormented by their different besetting [something that is tempting, harassing, or assailing you] sins and ugly natures, just as she had been by her fears...She could scarcely bear the thought, yet for so many years she had not only feared, but condemned them, had actually 'disdained their misery', telling herself it was their own fault...Yes, she, detestable, fear-enslaved Much Afraid had actually dared to disdain them for the things which made them so wretched and ugly when she herself was equally wretched and enslaved."
So, where's the good that comes from lust? Maybe it's in this post. Maybe it's the dim light shed on a subject which loves to dwell in the darkness. Maybe it's just the good that it has done me to spell-it-out, and the humility I've gained by doing so. Maybe the good is something that I can't perceive or know nothing about. Maybe the good is that "perfection consists in fighting against [imperfections]." ~St. Francis de Sales. Or maybe it is all of these things.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this gorgeous day, and endless reasons to praise you. Please forgive me for my sins, most especially for sitting in judgment of another, reducing another to their faults, and being enslaved by something other than love. Lord, please draw near to those who struggle with lust and intercede for those who are affected by it. You know our intimate struggles. You have promised that there is always a way out, if we desire it. Please give us the grace to desire a way out, and to forgive ourselves and others when we fail. Make us love you more and more, and our neighbor, for love of You. Amen.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Day Of Reflection, Revisited
This is officially the longest amount of time I've gone between posts in almost two years. I thought maybe my time as a "blogger" had expired. The inspirations stopped coming. However, a friend asked me for my notes from a Day of Reflection that our Regnum Christi group hosted on January 18th. She spent the whole time in the kitchen, so she and (those working with her) fed others, but didn't get spiritually fed themselves. So, this is for them, for you, and a beautiful red-headed lady whose smile spans the miles between here and the Netherlands.
I apologize in advance, if my notes seem disjointed. I take them for myself, so I only write down things I haven't heard before, or things that resonate. However, there are enough single thoughts contained here to make it worth your while.
Day Of Reflection Notes, January 18, 2014
Fr. Michael Sullivan, L.C.: Heart to Heart With Jesus and His Emotions, Attractions (desires), and Difficulties:
*According to St. Thomas Aquinas, everything Jesus said, did, and suffered was for our instruction.
Christ's words instruct, change, and purify us.
*LOVE or get freed up to love - this is business of life.
*We carry two things in our hands when we go to Heaven:
1. What we've done for God.
2. What we've done for others.
*There are three stages in the spiritual life:
1. Self-denial
2. Growth in virtue
3. Union with God
*Addiction - any repeated behavior based on craving with more cost than benefit.
*A bird on a branch can't fly whether tethered by floss or a heavy chain.
*Ask yourself, "What if God likes me?" It changes everything. When you are all-powerful, you make stuff you like!
*The Our Father prayer tells us everything we're supposed to want, and in the order we're supposed to want it. It can be summed up in the Scripture, "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you besides." Ultimately, we are to love God for His own sake, and our neighbor for God's sake.
*Faith and Hope are God's gifts to me. Love is my return to God. Love is the only thing that remains in Heaven.
*How we react to difficulties in life is WAY MORE important than what we're reacting to!
*Christ's Difficulties - His Agony in the Garden: After He sweat blood, Jesus neither sat, slept, was understood, nor consoled for 14 hours.
*Fear - We experience fear when we perceive future evil that we cannot overcome. The opposite of fear is courage. Read John 15 when you are afraid.
*Neurosis - Being afraid, but not knowing what of.
*We can understand ourselves and others better, if we take time to learn what we/they are avoiding.
*St. Thomas Aquinas says Matthew, Mark, and Luke tell us what Jesus did. John tells us why.
*Sadness - resting in the presence of evil. Read John 14 when you are sad.
*Joy - resting in the presence of good.
*Love is always the beginning of hate.
Fr. Timothy Mulcahey, L.C.:
*To evangelize - follow the Holy Spirit's lead. God will put opportunities to serve in your path; just say "Yes".
*God is calling us to do something. Something fueled by charity. For love of God and neighbor. Other motives are vanity, pride, duty, guilt. These are not good motives.
*Matthew 25
*If I work on loving my brother and sister, my love for Christ increases.
*Goal of Apostolate (Works for God):
1. Salvation of souls
2. Affect the whole temporal order toward the Gospel. Help renew society.
3. Walk on two legs: prayer and work
*Read Forming Intentional Disciples by Weddell:
1. Personal encounter with the saving love of Jesus Christ - "What kind of love wouldn't need to speak of the beloved?"
2. We need to recognize the spiritual favor of being "a people". We're all in this together.
3. Cultivate a passion for Jesus and a passion for people.
*I am a "mission" in this world, and that is why I'm here. ~Pope Francis
*Christ triumphed. Let Him lead the way. When evangelizers rise from prayer, they are more open to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit.
Mary Mann, actress - Putting Our Heart Near Jesus' Sacred Heart
*Psalm 106:14-15, empty heart
*Proverbs 3:5-6
*Do what you do best and leave the consequences to God.
Questions for personal reflection:
1. What would be different about your life if you choose to meet the expectations of God, and how would you know what God expects?
2. Have you identified your gifts and talents? How would they make a difference? How are you using them for Christ? (If you would like to see a list of possible gifts, visit my post at http://asoulaidbare.blogspot.com/2012/05/unwrapping-your-spiritual-gifts.html).
3. If your intention is for the salvation of souls - How are you accomplishing that?
4. In what way would you like to reflect the heart of God (His love)?
Fr. Nathaniel Haslam, L.C.:
*Do you share Jesus with those you meet?
*Three Reasons Why We Were Baptised:
1. To be restored, because we were broken.
2. To be elevated. We have a dignity that pales all other beauty.
3. To receive a missionary heart.
*Evangelium=Gospel=Earth-shattering news. Read Evangelium Gaudium, Pope Francis.
*We come and go. We can be on a box of Wheaties today, and forgotten completely tomorrow.
*Being a missionary is not an obligation or imposition - it is love; sharing the beloved and fruits of the relationship with Him. A missionary heart does not retreat into its own comfort. Other's hearts are being prepared to meet ME because I have Jesus to share with them.
*Tomb psychology transforms Christians into mummies in a museum - Get out of your comfort zone!
We'll only know who we've helped in eternity.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for warm houses on cold days. Thank you for days of reflection, and the ability to enter into Your Presence at any moment. Thank you for all of the people who feed us spiritually - who make the invisible, visible. Forgive us for our shortcomings, and all of the obstacles we place in Your Way, Truth, and Life. Please give us the grace to hear, understand, and respond to You. Let us experience Your Love, and carry it to others. Thank you for preparing hearts to meet ME, because they want to meet YOU. Make us love you more and more. Amen.
I apologize in advance, if my notes seem disjointed. I take them for myself, so I only write down things I haven't heard before, or things that resonate. However, there are enough single thoughts contained here to make it worth your while.
Day Of Reflection Notes, January 18, 2014
Fr. Michael Sullivan, L.C.: Heart to Heart With Jesus and His Emotions, Attractions (desires), and Difficulties:
*According to St. Thomas Aquinas, everything Jesus said, did, and suffered was for our instruction.
Christ's words instruct, change, and purify us.
*LOVE or get freed up to love - this is business of life.
*We carry two things in our hands when we go to Heaven:
1. What we've done for God.
2. What we've done for others.
*There are three stages in the spiritual life:
1. Self-denial
2. Growth in virtue
3. Union with God
*Addiction - any repeated behavior based on craving with more cost than benefit.
*A bird on a branch can't fly whether tethered by floss or a heavy chain.
*Ask yourself, "What if God likes me?" It changes everything. When you are all-powerful, you make stuff you like!
*The Our Father prayer tells us everything we're supposed to want, and in the order we're supposed to want it. It can be summed up in the Scripture, "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you besides." Ultimately, we are to love God for His own sake, and our neighbor for God's sake.
*Faith and Hope are God's gifts to me. Love is my return to God. Love is the only thing that remains in Heaven.
*How we react to difficulties in life is WAY MORE important than what we're reacting to!
*Christ's Difficulties - His Agony in the Garden: After He sweat blood, Jesus neither sat, slept, was understood, nor consoled for 14 hours.
*Fear - We experience fear when we perceive future evil that we cannot overcome. The opposite of fear is courage. Read John 15 when you are afraid.
*Neurosis - Being afraid, but not knowing what of.
*We can understand ourselves and others better, if we take time to learn what we/they are avoiding.
*St. Thomas Aquinas says Matthew, Mark, and Luke tell us what Jesus did. John tells us why.
*Sadness - resting in the presence of evil. Read John 14 when you are sad.
*Joy - resting in the presence of good.
*Love is always the beginning of hate.
Fr. Timothy Mulcahey, L.C.:
*To evangelize - follow the Holy Spirit's lead. God will put opportunities to serve in your path; just say "Yes".
*God is calling us to do something. Something fueled by charity. For love of God and neighbor. Other motives are vanity, pride, duty, guilt. These are not good motives.
*Matthew 25
*If I work on loving my brother and sister, my love for Christ increases.
*Goal of Apostolate (Works for God):
1. Salvation of souls
2. Affect the whole temporal order toward the Gospel. Help renew society.
3. Walk on two legs: prayer and work
*Read Forming Intentional Disciples by Weddell:
1. Personal encounter with the saving love of Jesus Christ - "What kind of love wouldn't need to speak of the beloved?"
2. We need to recognize the spiritual favor of being "a people". We're all in this together.
3. Cultivate a passion for Jesus and a passion for people.
*I am a "mission" in this world, and that is why I'm here. ~Pope Francis
*Christ triumphed. Let Him lead the way. When evangelizers rise from prayer, they are more open to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit.
Mary Mann, actress - Putting Our Heart Near Jesus' Sacred Heart
*Psalm 106:14-15, empty heart
*Proverbs 3:5-6
*Do what you do best and leave the consequences to God.
Questions for personal reflection:
1. What would be different about your life if you choose to meet the expectations of God, and how would you know what God expects?
2. Have you identified your gifts and talents? How would they make a difference? How are you using them for Christ? (If you would like to see a list of possible gifts, visit my post at http://asoulaidbare.blogspot.com/2012/05/unwrapping-your-spiritual-gifts.html).
3. If your intention is for the salvation of souls - How are you accomplishing that?
4. In what way would you like to reflect the heart of God (His love)?
Fr. Nathaniel Haslam, L.C.:
*Do you share Jesus with those you meet?
*Three Reasons Why We Were Baptised:
1. To be restored, because we were broken.
2. To be elevated. We have a dignity that pales all other beauty.
3. To receive a missionary heart.
*Evangelium=Gospel=Earth-shattering news. Read Evangelium Gaudium, Pope Francis.
*We come and go. We can be on a box of Wheaties today, and forgotten completely tomorrow.
*Being a missionary is not an obligation or imposition - it is love; sharing the beloved and fruits of the relationship with Him. A missionary heart does not retreat into its own comfort. Other's hearts are being prepared to meet ME because I have Jesus to share with them.
*Tomb psychology transforms Christians into mummies in a museum - Get out of your comfort zone!
We'll only know who we've helped in eternity.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for warm houses on cold days. Thank you for days of reflection, and the ability to enter into Your Presence at any moment. Thank you for all of the people who feed us spiritually - who make the invisible, visible. Forgive us for our shortcomings, and all of the obstacles we place in Your Way, Truth, and Life. Please give us the grace to hear, understand, and respond to You. Let us experience Your Love, and carry it to others. Thank you for preparing hearts to meet ME, because they want to meet YOU. Make us love you more and more. Amen.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
I Don't Want to Do This Anymore
Yesterday, I finished facilitating an 8-week study on The Temperament God Gave You by Art and Larraine Bennett. We were a small group on this final day, but I learned two big lessons.
The first thing the ladies taught me is that for some people, life is really hard, most of the time. It's hard for a lot of reasons. They can't get out of their head. They want perfection from themselves and other people, and when they don't get it, they're impatient and unkind, which makes them feel worse about a situation they already felt crappy about. This spiral repeats itself mercilessly, and often seems impossible to break out of. They carry guilt for all sorts of reasons, including shortcomings in motherhood, feeling like they should be something or someone other than who they are, and not praying well or enough. A thought that surfaces all-too-often is "I don't want to do this anymore." After saying this out loud, reassurances come quickly about not really being suicidal. But, that doesn't mean it isn't an occasional fantasy.
The second thing they taught me, is that there are more of them than there are of me. I am generally happy-go-lucky, go-along-to-get-along, and find more joy in life than anything else. In a word, I am content. Thanks to the insight of a trusted friend, I learned that while this is great for me, it's a mixed bag for them. I am a spot of sunshine on a cloudy day, but I also frustrate them and add to their burden. They wonder what they're doing wrong, and why they don't have the peace that seems to come so easily to me. I hate this, and am tempted to crawl into a hole because of it. But, as my friend pointed out, that would be the plan of the devil, exactly. So, I have to focus on how I can help rather than hurt them.
As it turns out, much of our individual perspectives goes back to the temperament we were born with. They are "melancholic" and I am "sanguine". I don't understand why God made us so differently, but I suspect it has something to do with needing each other. Because I know we do. I also know that "perfection consists in doing the will of God, not in understanding His designs".
Even though our differences seem great, our commonality is greater, and I want to encourage all who share in the struggle of daily living. No matter what our temperament is, we have to persevere. Nobody is getting to Heaven without PERSEVERANCE. Period.
I can't find the quote just now, but we must not allow ourselves to be disappointed or surprised at what we are (or are not) capable of at any moment. We are human, we are sinners, and we will fail continually until we die. I'm sorry for this hard truth, but the thing about truth is that it doesn't go away. At the moment we realize we're doing the very thing we intended not to do, or not doing the very thing we resolved to do, we must begin again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Furthermore, we must do all of this "beginning again" without wasting time and energy wondering how on earth we allowed whatever we allowed. If we are ever disappointed with or surprised at ourselves, then we have overestimated our capability at the outset, and that is pride!
The other secret to thriving day by day, is the PRESENT MOMENT.
"There is not a moment in which God does not present Himself under the cover of some pain to be endured, of some consolation to be enjoyed, or of some duty to be performed. All that takes place within us, around us, or through us, contains and conceals His divine action."
"The duties of each moment are the shadows beneath which hides the divine operation...'The power of the most High shall over-shadow thee (Luke 1:35), said the angel to Mary. This shadow, beneath which is hidden the power of God for the purpose of bringing forth Jesus Christ in the soul, is the duty, the attraction, or the cross that is presented to us at each moment."
"The present is ever filled with infinite treasure, it contains more than you have the capacity to hold...We can no longer consider our moments as trifles since in them is a whole kingdom of sanctity and food for angels."
"In the state of abandonment the only rule is the duty of the present moment. In this the soul is light as a feather, liquid as water, simple as a child, active as a ball in receiving and following all the inspirations of grace."
"What courage would they not derive from the thought that to acquire the friendship of God, and to arrive at eternal glory, they had but to do what they were doing, but to suffer what they were suffering, and that what they wasted and counted as nothing would suffice to enable them to arrive at eminent sanctity: far more so than extraordinary states and wonderful works.
Abandonment to Divine Providence, Jean Pierre de Caussade
Just as we need perseverance and the present moment to triumph in the dailiness of life, there are two things we don't need.
1. Guilt. It has to go. It paralyzes. We need to shed it like a coat on a summer day. It is not what God wants for us, and we are deluded to think it somehow pleases God to carry it around: Say "YES to realizing that carrying guilt is a greater sin than the failures that caused it...that it negates all Christ paid to set us free." YES, Ann Kiemel
"Whenever you feel guilty, even if it is because you have consciously committed a sin, a serious sin, something you have kept doing many times, never let the devil deceive you by allowing him to discourage you. My beloved, may every fall...always become for us a small step toward a higher degree of perfection." ~Maximilian Kolbe
2. Being critical of others: "If God has not transformed a person, It is because He puts up with Him as he is! He waits with patience the opportune moment. Why be more demanding and impatient than God?" Searching For and Maintaining Peace, Jacques Phillipe
Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from appearances, but look for what is beautiful in my neighbor's souls and come to their rescue.
Help me, that my ears may be merciful, so that I may give heed to my neighbor's needs and not be indifferent to their pains and moanings.
Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may be merciful, so that I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but have a word of comfort and forgiveness for all...
~Sister Faustina
Dear God of All Four Temperaments, Thank you for the study we just finished, the fun and growth we had on the way, and most especially the friendships that budded in the process. Thank you for safe places where being yourself is encouraged and being vulnerable is okay. Lord, please bless all of those whose everyday living is hard. When you see and hear those "I don't want to do this anymore" thoughts, please dissipate them with Your Love. Encourage and sustain them. Please give us all the grace of perseverance! And, finally, please help us find You continually in the present moment, under the cover of some pain to be endured, of some consolation to be enjoyed, or of some duty to be performed. Amen.
The first thing the ladies taught me is that for some people, life is really hard, most of the time. It's hard for a lot of reasons. They can't get out of their head. They want perfection from themselves and other people, and when they don't get it, they're impatient and unkind, which makes them feel worse about a situation they already felt crappy about. This spiral repeats itself mercilessly, and often seems impossible to break out of. They carry guilt for all sorts of reasons, including shortcomings in motherhood, feeling like they should be something or someone other than who they are, and not praying well or enough. A thought that surfaces all-too-often is "I don't want to do this anymore." After saying this out loud, reassurances come quickly about not really being suicidal. But, that doesn't mean it isn't an occasional fantasy.
The second thing they taught me, is that there are more of them than there are of me. I am generally happy-go-lucky, go-along-to-get-along, and find more joy in life than anything else. In a word, I am content. Thanks to the insight of a trusted friend, I learned that while this is great for me, it's a mixed bag for them. I am a spot of sunshine on a cloudy day, but I also frustrate them and add to their burden. They wonder what they're doing wrong, and why they don't have the peace that seems to come so easily to me. I hate this, and am tempted to crawl into a hole because of it. But, as my friend pointed out, that would be the plan of the devil, exactly. So, I have to focus on how I can help rather than hurt them.
As it turns out, much of our individual perspectives goes back to the temperament we were born with. They are "melancholic" and I am "sanguine". I don't understand why God made us so differently, but I suspect it has something to do with needing each other. Because I know we do. I also know that "perfection consists in doing the will of God, not in understanding His designs".
Even though our differences seem great, our commonality is greater, and I want to encourage all who share in the struggle of daily living. No matter what our temperament is, we have to persevere. Nobody is getting to Heaven without PERSEVERANCE. Period.
I can't find the quote just now, but we must not allow ourselves to be disappointed or surprised at what we are (or are not) capable of at any moment. We are human, we are sinners, and we will fail continually until we die. I'm sorry for this hard truth, but the thing about truth is that it doesn't go away. At the moment we realize we're doing the very thing we intended not to do, or not doing the very thing we resolved to do, we must begin again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Furthermore, we must do all of this "beginning again" without wasting time and energy wondering how on earth we allowed whatever we allowed. If we are ever disappointed with or surprised at ourselves, then we have overestimated our capability at the outset, and that is pride!
"In trying to do anything, we
must ask for God's help. "Even when you have done so, it may seem to
you for a long time that no help, or less help than you need, is being
given. Never mind. After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick
yourself up, and try again. Very often what God first helps us towards is
not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again. For
however important chastity (or courage, or truthfulness, or any other virtue)
may be, this process trains us in habits of the soul which are more important
still. It cures our illusions about ourselves and teaches us to depend on
God. We learn, on the one hand, that we cannot trust ourselves even in
our best moments, and, on the other, that we need not despair even in our
worst, for our failures are forgiven. The only fatal thing is to sit down
content with anything less than perfection." Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis
The other secret to thriving day by day, is the PRESENT MOMENT.
"There is not a moment in which God does not present Himself under the cover of some pain to be endured, of some consolation to be enjoyed, or of some duty to be performed. All that takes place within us, around us, or through us, contains and conceals His divine action."
"The duties of each moment are the shadows beneath which hides the divine operation...'The power of the most High shall over-shadow thee (Luke 1:35), said the angel to Mary. This shadow, beneath which is hidden the power of God for the purpose of bringing forth Jesus Christ in the soul, is the duty, the attraction, or the cross that is presented to us at each moment."
"The present is ever filled with infinite treasure, it contains more than you have the capacity to hold...We can no longer consider our moments as trifles since in them is a whole kingdom of sanctity and food for angels."
"In the state of abandonment the only rule is the duty of the present moment. In this the soul is light as a feather, liquid as water, simple as a child, active as a ball in receiving and following all the inspirations of grace."
"What courage would they not derive from the thought that to acquire the friendship of God, and to arrive at eternal glory, they had but to do what they were doing, but to suffer what they were suffering, and that what they wasted and counted as nothing would suffice to enable them to arrive at eminent sanctity: far more so than extraordinary states and wonderful works.
Abandonment to Divine Providence, Jean Pierre de Caussade
Just as we need perseverance and the present moment to triumph in the dailiness of life, there are two things we don't need.
1. Guilt. It has to go. It paralyzes. We need to shed it like a coat on a summer day. It is not what God wants for us, and we are deluded to think it somehow pleases God to carry it around: Say "YES to realizing that carrying guilt is a greater sin than the failures that caused it...that it negates all Christ paid to set us free." YES, Ann Kiemel
"Whenever you feel guilty, even if it is because you have consciously committed a sin, a serious sin, something you have kept doing many times, never let the devil deceive you by allowing him to discourage you. My beloved, may every fall...always become for us a small step toward a higher degree of perfection." ~Maximilian Kolbe
2. Being critical of others: "If God has not transformed a person, It is because He puts up with Him as he is! He waits with patience the opportune moment. Why be more demanding and impatient than God?" Searching For and Maintaining Peace, Jacques Phillipe
Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from appearances, but look for what is beautiful in my neighbor's souls and come to their rescue.
Help me, that my ears may be merciful, so that I may give heed to my neighbor's needs and not be indifferent to their pains and moanings.
Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may be merciful, so that I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but have a word of comfort and forgiveness for all...
~Sister Faustina
Dear God of All Four Temperaments, Thank you for the study we just finished, the fun and growth we had on the way, and most especially the friendships that budded in the process. Thank you for safe places where being yourself is encouraged and being vulnerable is okay. Lord, please bless all of those whose everyday living is hard. When you see and hear those "I don't want to do this anymore" thoughts, please dissipate them with Your Love. Encourage and sustain them. Please give us all the grace of perseverance! And, finally, please help us find You continually in the present moment, under the cover of some pain to be endured, of some consolation to be enjoyed, or of some duty to be performed. Amen.
Friday, December 20, 2013
Going, Going, Gone
A few stories from the lives of people I love. People who are saying good-bye or wishing they had the chance...
~I helped a friend go through some of her belongings last night; Some were 50 years old or better. I pulled stuff out from under her bed and went through her kitchen cabinets. I boxed up what she didn't want and brought it home. My friend is 95-years-old, and is moving away to her old hometown, where she can see the ocean from her living room.
She moved several times within her retirement facility in the last couple of years, and each time, she has gotten rid of things she's held onto for most of her life. The green dress she wore in Las Vegas once was not about to go, but that was an exception. During this final purge, amongst boxes of jello, wine glasses, and an old sugar crock, I was fighting back the tears. It didn't seem to be the least bit painful for her, but watching her have to let go of the simplest things because there will no longer be room nor need of them, were little deaths for me.
In the midst of a season, in a world, where acquiring is life, I know she's on the other side. She will be moving mid-January. God willing, I will see her a couple more times after the Christmas Break, but that will probably be it, for good. And that is a hard thing to know.
I hate good-byes. I especially hate them when they are forever. Although, fortunately, we can only move through life going forward, so I have rarely known these ahead of time. A friendship made between rides to hair appointments and lunches at Whataburger is going, going,...
~Another friend celebrated her 60th wedding anniversary this year. She and her husband split up a few months later. But, only because they had to. He left the retirement facility one-too-many times without signing out, and became a liability. (Going to the donut shop is fine, but be careful if you are too young or too old). His mental faculties are declining, and can no longer safely stay put, with his wife of 60 years. He was moved to his own apartment in a nearby building, which his wife can reach by a short bus ride. He calls her all day long. Her voice is the only thing familiar. Their marriage, as they know it, is going, going...
~One of my dearest friends over the past nine years lost her daughter on October 30th of this year. She was murdered by her ex-boyfriend, who had been stalking her for months. He killed her, set her house on fire, and shot himself. She was 41-years-old. A well-loved beauty who loved dogs, motorcycles, and life.
I was helping my friend clean out her daughter's house a couple weeks ago. Everything was just as she left it, except it was all covered in soot. There was plenty of food in the pantry, dishes in the dishwasher, and cigarettes in the ashtray. The days were marked off on the calendar up to the day before she died.
On earth, all that is left of Tabitha is the incredible love her family and friends have for her, which will never be able to cover the excruciating pain they feel at having her ripped out of their lives. From the outside looking in, it seems the only pain that comes close, is that of not getting to say good-bye.
Sometimes, we get to prepare for the end. The end of a relationship or the end of a life.
Dear God, thank you for old and new friends. Thank you for the way our lives get all tangled up, so that we can't help but be influenced by one another. I know You hear the cries of anguish from Your beloved people. Please comfort them, as only You can. My hands are sweaty on the keyboard and I feel shaky inside, putting these stories together on one page, when each one has impacted me so deeply. Please, please, please let their pain be fruitful for all who are touched by it - That we may love better and more - That we may forgive and make our forgiveness known - Like we don't have forever to get it right. Amen.
~I helped a friend go through some of her belongings last night; Some were 50 years old or better. I pulled stuff out from under her bed and went through her kitchen cabinets. I boxed up what she didn't want and brought it home. My friend is 95-years-old, and is moving away to her old hometown, where she can see the ocean from her living room.
She moved several times within her retirement facility in the last couple of years, and each time, she has gotten rid of things she's held onto for most of her life. The green dress she wore in Las Vegas once was not about to go, but that was an exception. During this final purge, amongst boxes of jello, wine glasses, and an old sugar crock, I was fighting back the tears. It didn't seem to be the least bit painful for her, but watching her have to let go of the simplest things because there will no longer be room nor need of them, were little deaths for me.
In the midst of a season, in a world, where acquiring is life, I know she's on the other side. She will be moving mid-January. God willing, I will see her a couple more times after the Christmas Break, but that will probably be it, for good. And that is a hard thing to know.
I hate good-byes. I especially hate them when they are forever. Although, fortunately, we can only move through life going forward, so I have rarely known these ahead of time. A friendship made between rides to hair appointments and lunches at Whataburger is going, going,...
~Another friend celebrated her 60th wedding anniversary this year. She and her husband split up a few months later. But, only because they had to. He left the retirement facility one-too-many times without signing out, and became a liability. (Going to the donut shop is fine, but be careful if you are too young or too old). His mental faculties are declining, and can no longer safely stay put, with his wife of 60 years. He was moved to his own apartment in a nearby building, which his wife can reach by a short bus ride. He calls her all day long. Her voice is the only thing familiar. Their marriage, as they know it, is going, going...
~One of my dearest friends over the past nine years lost her daughter on October 30th of this year. She was murdered by her ex-boyfriend, who had been stalking her for months. He killed her, set her house on fire, and shot himself. She was 41-years-old. A well-loved beauty who loved dogs, motorcycles, and life.
I was helping my friend clean out her daughter's house a couple weeks ago. Everything was just as she left it, except it was all covered in soot. There was plenty of food in the pantry, dishes in the dishwasher, and cigarettes in the ashtray. The days were marked off on the calendar up to the day before she died.
On earth, all that is left of Tabitha is the incredible love her family and friends have for her, which will never be able to cover the excruciating pain they feel at having her ripped out of their lives. From the outside looking in, it seems the only pain that comes close, is that of not getting to say good-bye.
Sometimes, we get to prepare for the end. The end of a relationship or the end of a life.
And, sometimes, we don't.
Dear God, thank you for old and new friends. Thank you for the way our lives get all tangled up, so that we can't help but be influenced by one another. I know You hear the cries of anguish from Your beloved people. Please comfort them, as only You can. My hands are sweaty on the keyboard and I feel shaky inside, putting these stories together on one page, when each one has impacted me so deeply. Please, please, please let their pain be fruitful for all who are touched by it - That we may love better and more - That we may forgive and make our forgiveness known - Like we don't have forever to get it right. Amen.
Eternal rest grant unto Tabitha, O Lord, and let Perpetual Light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. Amen.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Living Paycheck-To-Paycheck In a Little House at Christmastime
It's Christmastime. Lots of beautiful pictures of beautiful people in beautiful places. There are Christmas parties, well-lit trees, fires in fireplaces, and drinks for all.
Unless there isn't...
Without any direct proof, I suspect a large majority of us live paycheck-to-paycheck. I also suspect that most of us feel poorer at Christmas than at any other time. When you live paycheck-to-paycheck, a Wish list is your nightmare and a credit card's dream, and if you're not lucky enough to have good credit, it's simply a list of Things-I-Don't-Have-Enough-Money-to-Buy (which really isn't helpful any time of the year). It's all-too-easy to look around and wish you lived in one of those big, beautiful houses with endless presents under the tree (that are already paid off). And, if you succumb to your looking around, you allow yourself a long ride on the one-way swing from the "Have" to the "Have-Not" tree.
But, wait. If you happen to be poor this Christmas, just barely making it, or one of those who thinks everyone else's Christmas is bigger, more beautiful, more Christmas-y, or more perfect than yours, venture with me to my childhood mind, for just a minute...
I have never lived in a big house by American standards, but have only lived in mansions if you're from any other country on the planet. As a little girl, I remember dreaming about dormer windows and a house with an upstairs. I loved the thought of a big house, and the idea of all of those rooms, although I couldn't figure out (and still can't) what they might all be used for. I have never lived in a house that had a room that wasn't used every day, but, I remember driving by big, beautiful houses, and wondering "What is going on in there?" and thinking, "It must be wonderful, whatever it is."
However, I've grown up, and have spent some time considering what it is that drew me to those big, beautiful houses. And, I've discovered it! I always assumed there was more love in a big house. I imagined something delicious baking in the oven, and someone who took the time to make it. I imagined a group of people around a table, smiling and laughing (Ironically, all in one room). I imagined the thoughts, the words, the interactions, the food, and everything in between, to be beautiful and full of love.
Pope John Paul II quoted Dostoevsky when he wrote, "Beauty will save the world." I think I have learned why beauty is so powerful. It is because someone cares enough to make an effort. Beauty is the product of Love. Whether it is the flowers that someone cares enough to water, the cookies someone cares enough to bake, or the decorations that someone cares enough to hang; the love and the someone behind it is where the real attraction is.
I can still appreciate looking at a big, beautiful house, but I would no longer trade it for my own. I now know that the someone(s) inside are the real source of my interest. Scraping by or filthy rich, little house or big house, I have someone. Many, in fact. And if I continue with my suspicions, I suspect you do, too. Celebrate with me, if you have even one person who loves you. And read this poem any time the world tricks you into thinking you are poor. Especially if you are living paycheck-to-paycheck in a little house at Christmastime...
Dear God the Father, Thank you for sending Baby Jesus in His humanity. Thank you, Mary, for saying "Yes". Thank you, Joseph, for stepping in and stepping up. Thank you, Jesus, for being born in a stable. Not in a mansion. Not in your own little house. Not even a room in the inn. Thank you for showing us that "love grows best in little houses". Strengthen us as we guard our eyes, that we may not look away from the blessings in our life for any reason, least of all to look longingly at ways you've blessed another. Please give us the grace to be that someone who strives to make the effort to love, and add beauty to the lives of those around us. Thank you for those who do this continually, and for their example. Please be with those who don't have even one by whom they know they are loved. Let them be known and sought after. Thank you for the wealth you've given us in those we love. You know we would not trade them for any amount of money. God bless us all - the poor who are poor, the poor who are rich, the rich who are rich, and the rich who are poor. Amen.
Unless there isn't...
Without any direct proof, I suspect a large majority of us live paycheck-to-paycheck. I also suspect that most of us feel poorer at Christmas than at any other time. When you live paycheck-to-paycheck, a Wish list is your nightmare and a credit card's dream, and if you're not lucky enough to have good credit, it's simply a list of Things-I-Don't-Have-Enough-Money-to-Buy (which really isn't helpful any time of the year). It's all-too-easy to look around and wish you lived in one of those big, beautiful houses with endless presents under the tree (that are already paid off). And, if you succumb to your looking around, you allow yourself a long ride on the one-way swing from the "Have" to the "Have-Not" tree.
But, wait. If you happen to be poor this Christmas, just barely making it, or one of those who thinks everyone else's Christmas is bigger, more beautiful, more Christmas-y, or more perfect than yours, venture with me to my childhood mind, for just a minute...
I have never lived in a big house by American standards, but have only lived in mansions if you're from any other country on the planet. As a little girl, I remember dreaming about dormer windows and a house with an upstairs. I loved the thought of a big house, and the idea of all of those rooms, although I couldn't figure out (and still can't) what they might all be used for. I have never lived in a house that had a room that wasn't used every day, but, I remember driving by big, beautiful houses, and wondering "What is going on in there?" and thinking, "It must be wonderful, whatever it is."
However, I've grown up, and have spent some time considering what it is that drew me to those big, beautiful houses. And, I've discovered it! I always assumed there was more love in a big house. I imagined something delicious baking in the oven, and someone who took the time to make it. I imagined a group of people around a table, smiling and laughing (Ironically, all in one room). I imagined the thoughts, the words, the interactions, the food, and everything in between, to be beautiful and full of love.
Pope John Paul II quoted Dostoevsky when he wrote, "Beauty will save the world." I think I have learned why beauty is so powerful. It is because someone cares enough to make an effort. Beauty is the product of Love. Whether it is the flowers that someone cares enough to water, the cookies someone cares enough to bake, or the decorations that someone cares enough to hang; the love and the someone behind it is where the real attraction is.
I can still appreciate looking at a big, beautiful house, but I would no longer trade it for my own. I now know that the someone(s) inside are the real source of my interest. Scraping by or filthy rich, little house or big house, I have someone. Many, in fact. And if I continue with my suspicions, I suspect you do, too. Celebrate with me, if you have even one person who loves you. And read this poem any time the world tricks you into thinking you are poor. Especially if you are living paycheck-to-paycheck in a little house at Christmastime...
If all the world were mine to plunder
I'd be content with just one town,
And in that town, one house alone,
And in that house, one single room,
And in that room, one cot only,
For there, asleep, is the one I love.
-Ancient Sanskrit Poem
Dear God the Father, Thank you for sending Baby Jesus in His humanity. Thank you, Mary, for saying "Yes". Thank you, Joseph, for stepping in and stepping up. Thank you, Jesus, for being born in a stable. Not in a mansion. Not in your own little house. Not even a room in the inn. Thank you for showing us that "love grows best in little houses". Strengthen us as we guard our eyes, that we may not look away from the blessings in our life for any reason, least of all to look longingly at ways you've blessed another. Please give us the grace to be that someone who strives to make the effort to love, and add beauty to the lives of those around us. Thank you for those who do this continually, and for their example. Please be with those who don't have even one by whom they know they are loved. Let them be known and sought after. Thank you for the wealth you've given us in those we love. You know we would not trade them for any amount of money. God bless us all - the poor who are poor, the poor who are rich, the rich who are rich, and the rich who are poor. Amen.
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