When the Song is Over

I usually write when I have a thought or series of thoughts that I can't quite shake.  If those thoughts have the potential to make you laugh or think, I gotta do it.  And, to be honest, I haven't stopped thinking about singing the National Anthem three days ago.  If I hadn't made the mistake of asking my friend to video it, I could have smoothed over all of the rough parts in my mind, and just incorrectly and happily remembered that I sang it perfectly.

But, I did ask her, and so I can't.  I've played and re-played the video, wishing I could have started on the right note (the very lowest one that would actually come out of my mouth).  Instead of blankly staring at the Ross Volunteer Company posting the colors, I wish I would of been busy finding the starting note in my head, and more importantly in my vocal cords, to make sure I got it right!  Man!

A few notes in, I realized that I was committed to singing in a key I never practiced in, and would not have wanted to sing in, at any price.  In the end, the high parts were in a falsetto I never use, and cringe-worthy, at best.  To my surprise, the crowd jumped in on the last note with whistles and applause.  I attributed it to their patriotism, forgiving and/or forgetful natures, gratitude it was over, or glad-it-was-you-and-not-me celebration.  I work with a great group of people.  That would be just like them.

Today, in an effort to make myself feel better, and put it behind me for once and for all, I sheepishly googled "worst National Anthems" and was delighted when YouTube responded by offering the Top 10 American National Anthem Performance Fails.  My youngest was within earshot.  He heard the first sample come through my phone speaker and said, "Is that the worst?" to which I answered in the affirmative.  "Are you on there?"  No (Eyes flash from- phone-to-son-back-to-phone).  A few more samples played, and then, "Is that you?" Grrrr...

I should have brought earbuds.

I closed YouTube more grateful than I have ever been for Christina Aguilera, Michael Bolton, and Cuba Gooding, Sr.

Before singing (like for a whole month and every day beforehand), I asked God to bless my singing of the National Anthem, and was really hoping that if He wanted to humble me, it would be in a less public, less observable way than during that 1 minute and 20 seconds.

I guess God knew that was a powerful set of minutes.  Those minutes could deliver some ripe and tasty humble-fruit that could make enough humble pie to serve myself and the nation I was singing for.  Maybe for years.

And this all reminds me of a 12-year-old girl we met last weekend.  She was a guest at the rental house next to ours on the Colorado River.  If she had a volume knob, it was turned to Max.  You couldn't not notice her.  She seemed to run wherever she went and had as much to say as volume to say it with.  She baited her own line, took her fish off the hook and threw them back in the water, like somebody who'd been working on a fishing boat for thirty years.  Her expertise was volunteered when any one of us lacked 100% confidence in any moment.  I think she's the only the person who could take a fishing pole out of my 8-year-old fishing expert's hands to see if he had something on the end of his line, which is exactly what she did.

I was equally intrigued and annoyed by her bouncing back and forth between our dock and theirs, and with her total lack of self-consciousness.  She ushered the relaxation off the dock with her bounding, volume, observations, and opinions.

But, when we got back from the beach one evening, their stuff was all cleared out.  They were gone.

The following morning, I found an old styrofoam cooler by our dock that I hadn't seen before.  I lifted the lid and found this floating inside:

    

And although it looks like a piece of paper, wet from floating in an old styrofoam cooler with shrimp in it, it tastes like humble pie.

We spent the weekend enduring this beautiful, outspoken fisher-girl and she left us with what she had.  And took the time to write a note.  And wished us well.

God doesn't need to put me on a stage in front of 2,000 people to humble me.  He just needs to surround me with people who are better at being people than I am.  And He does.
                         

Your Value, Power, and Responsibility

This week I had the privilege of "bringing the message" to the hospital's weekly praise and worship service.  Seems funny for a Catholic girl, especially when three of the audience of nine were pastors of their own churches, as well as my fellow chaplains, but nevertheless...  In light of a few posts I've seen on Facebook and the fallout that comes with not feeling good enough, I thought I'd share the message with you.  The following is an amalgamation of Scripture, personal thoughts, and favorite quotes.  In case you've forgotten, or have never known your personal value and power, I invite you to know and/or remember...

I.  Value – Why do we have value?  Because we are made in the image and likeness of God and He loves us.

Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female He created them."

Our value simply is.  It cannot be increased by our good works, nor decreased by our sins because we aren’t the ones who distribute this value.  God does. 

John 3:16  "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life."

1John4:10  "In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the expiation of our sins."

Mark 10:21:  (When the man asked Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life and he replied that he had honored the commandments that Jesus listed) “Jesus looking upon him loved him.”

If being loved by God isn’t enough proof of our value, where else can we find it?  How do we know we have value?  We’ll look at just a few verses from Scripture to capture how critical it is to Him that we know this:

Jeremiah 29:11  "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Matthew 12:11-12  “He said to them, “What man of you, if he has one sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will not lay hold of it and lift it out?  Of how much more value is a man than a sheep!...”

Luke 12:22-24  “And he said to his disciples, therefore I tell you , do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat, nor about your body, what you shall put on.  For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.  Consider the ravens:  they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them.  Of how much more value are you than the birds!"

John 4:10  “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink, ‘you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.'”

The gift of God is His Love.  Because of it, we are HOLY.CHOSEN.BELOVED.FORGIVEN.

How do we stay in this truth?  We spend time in God’s word, in the classroom of silence where He speaks, in communion with fellow believers, and seeking all of the other ways He reveals Himself to us (sacraments, nature, music, fill in the blank__________...)

We must also consider ourselves loveable and love ourselves, in turn.  On the continuum of self-love, there is a broad spectrum.  At one end is self-loathing.  There’s a lot of that going on.  At the other end is self-love based on what we’ve done or some other false value.  We don’t want to be found at either end of this spectrum.  We want to be somewhere in the middle.  We want to live in the place where God loves us from, recognizing our value because He gave it to us.

Mark 12:28-31 "One of the scribes asked “Which commandment is the first of all?  Jesus answered, “The first is, ‘Hear, O Israel:  The Lord our God, the Lord is one; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.  The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no other commandment greater than these.”

“It is rewarding to find someone you like, but it is essential to like yourself.  It is quickening to recognize that someone is a good and decent human being, but it is indispensable to view yourself as acceptable.  It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect and admiration and love, but it is vital to believe yourself deserving of these things…”  Jo Coudert, American writer

Can you imagine Christ calling you by name?  He does it throughout Scripture and He does it with you.  Continually.  Close your eyes and try to imagine it.  If you cannot, it would be a good thing to practice until you can.  We need to live in this reality… 

II.  Power -Do you understand the power you already have as a baptized child of God?  

2 Peter 1:3-4 “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, that through these you may escape from corruption that is in the world because of passion, and become partakers of the divine nature.” 

Ephesians 3:20  “Now to Him who by the power at work within us is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think…”

 

By the way, this is the same power that created the universe...

 

III.  Responsibility – If we understand our value as children of God and the power He makes available to us, what are we called to do about it?   

A.  Our first responsibility is not to underestimate it!  Fr. Iain Matthew in Impact of God says in one of my favorite quotes, ever:

 

 “Survival demands a certain skepticism.  We are trained to cope as social beings by keeping our desires within realistic limits.  But where God is concerned, the problem lies in our desiring too little, and growing means expanding our expectations or rather, making His generosity, not our poverty, the measure of our expectations.” 

“It seems that each of us creates either heaven or hell on earth for those around us, by what we say and do, by what is in our hearts.  We have the power to bring division and pain, or to bring peace and joy.”

-Susan Conroy 

I’m reading a book called Heaven by Randy Alcorn.  It says that for those of us going to Heaven, life on this earth is as close as we’ll ever get to hell.  On the one hand, “Duh”.  But, on the other, "Wow."  Doesn’t this reality make the bad a little more bearable?  Conversely, for those going to hell, this life is as close as they will get to Heaven.  Gulp.  We have the power on earth to create these earthly heaven and hells for each other.

 “Each time anyone comes in contact with us, they must become different and better people because of having met us.  We must radiate God’s love.”  - Mother Teresa

I am only one, but I am one.

I cannot do everything, but I can do something,

And what I should do and can do,

I will do.

-Author unknown  

Dear God of Scripture and Lover of Souls,

 

Thank you for the opportunity to know you through Your Word, for pursuing your people, and for making yourself known throughout all of history.  Please convict us of Your love!  Help us rest in it.  Show us the value and power we have because of it.  Grant us the grace to make Your generosity the measure of our expectation!  Grant us the light to know Your will and the courage to do it.  Amen.

 

 

Two Irreconcilable Worlds

I have an embarrassing history of being totally ignorant about what is going on in the world.  Not being a TV person and spending very little time in the car, it has been very easy to be ignorant.  I never felt compelled to check the news, because I never understood how simply knowing about bad things, without the ability to impact the situation for good, was helpful to anyone. 

Well, time has passed, and I have slowly decided to stay more informed; probably a combination of the guilt of being a bad citizen, the inability to participate in conversation, and the embarrassment that comes with it.  I  downloaded an app for a local news station, and started checking it once a day.  However, I just found out about the recent Ebola outbreak from my niece (because I hadn't seen anything on the local news), so I downloaded the CNN app.

Today (and probably the whole of my life), people are fleeing everywhere. Staying in their homeland would involve conversion to Islam, extreme taxation, or death by the sword.  Children are dying from thirst in the mountains after fleeing religious persecution with their families.  People are dying by the hundreds from ebola virus.  And I'm sitting on my futon, thinking about part-time jobs and getting in one more beach trip before school starts.

I don't know how to reconcile my life with their lives.  I don't want to be un-impacted by such horrific suffering.  As a Christian, I know I can and should pray.  Is that it?  Pause for a moment, feel bad for a moment, intercede to the Father for them, and then business as usual?  It's a little gut-wrenching to think the answer is "Probably".  Other ways to help in a practical manner seem non-existent. 

It brings me back to the point where I seem to find myself more and more frequently...to appreciate what I have, and to give where I can.  Just yesterday, I registered my boys for the upcoming school year.  In the health section, I checked the "No" box 54 times (18 for each boy) where it asks about specific problems or medications.  Nope.  Nothing.  Healthy as horses.  Do you mean that for every "No" I checked, some parent checked "Yes"?  Yes. 

Have we moved in the last three years to find work in farming or fishing?  Hell, no!  I can't even imagine that.  But, someone has.  Lots of people.  Every person who has a child in this school district has to answer this question, and it's not because it's irrelevant. 

I'm grateful when I check the box that I am, in fact, my child's parent and we reside in the same place.  Again, I could not imagine it any other way.  But, a lot of people can't imagine it my way, either. 

So, this morning, after taking a peek at the news and getting ready for the next thing in my day, it looks like the world is "going to hell in a hand basket" and my world is as rosy as ever.  What to do with that?  I will live more gratefully and intentionally this day.  I will not complain about anything that is short of the pain of death -at least for today.  I will try to encounter Christ, as I attend my women's group this morning.  I will donate to an old classmate's campaign for safe driving, call a friend who's having a hard time, and bring "Happy hour" to a friend recovering from surgery. 

This doesn't mean anything in the face of religious persecution or ebola virus, but it means everything in my world, and that is the best I can do.

Dear God of Worlds - Large and Small,

Thank you for my life and all of the healthy people in it.  Thank you for freedom of religion.  Thank you for the tremendous wealth, comfort, and safety we have in this country.  I pray we use it for good, and that it may not be an obstacle to anyone's salvation, as you have said.  Lord, please free, comfort, and protect those who need it.  You have said that we need not fear that which can kill the body, but only that which can kill the soul.  Please convict us of this, Lord.  Help us to live in such a way, that is small, but important.  You see and know all.  Jesus, we trust in You.  Amen.

Living Paycheck-To-Paycheck In a Little House at Christmastime

It's Christmastime.  Lots of beautiful pictures of beautiful people in beautiful places.  There are Christmas parties, well-lit trees, fires in fireplaces, and drinks for all.

Unless there isn't...

Without any direct proof, I suspect a large majority of us live paycheck-to-paycheck.  I also suspect that most of us feel poorer at Christmas than at any other time.  When you live paycheck-to-paycheck, a Wish list is your nightmare and a credit card's dream, and if you're not lucky enough to have good credit, it's simply a list of Things-I-Don't-Have-Enough-Money-to-Buy (which really isn't helpful any time of the year).  It's all-too-easy to look around and wish you lived in one of those big, beautiful houses with endless presents under the tree (that are already paid off).  And, if you succumb to your looking around, you allow yourself a long ride on the one-way swing from the "Have" to the "Have-Not" tree.

But, wait.  If you happen to be poor this Christmas, just barely making it, or one of those who thinks everyone else's Christmas is bigger, more beautiful, more Christmas-y, or more perfect than yours, venture with me to my childhood mind, for just a minute... 

I have never lived in a big house by American standards, but have only lived in mansions if you're from any other country on the planet.  As a little girl, I remember dreaming about dormer windows and a house with an upstairs.  I loved the thought of a big house, and the idea of all of those rooms, although I couldn't figure out (and still can't) what they might all be used for.  I have never lived in a house that had a room that wasn't used every day, but, I remember driving by big, beautiful houses, and wondering "What is going on in there?" and thinking, "It must be wonderful, whatever it is."     

However, I've grown up, and have spent some time considering what it is that drew me to those big, beautiful houses.  And, I've discovered it!  I always assumed there was more love in a big house.  I imagined something delicious baking in the oven, and someone who took the time to make it.  I imagined a group of people around a table, smiling and laughing (Ironically, all in one room).  I imagined the thoughts, the words, the interactions, the food, and everything in between,  to be beautiful and full of love.  

Pope John Paul II quoted Dostoevsky when he wrote, "Beauty will save the world."  I think I have learned why beauty is so powerful.  It is because someone cares enough to make an effort.  Beauty is the product of Love.  Whether it is the flowers that someone cares enough to water, the cookies someone cares enough to bake, or the decorations that someone cares enough to hang; the love and the someone behind it is where the real attraction is. 

I can still appreciate looking at a big, beautiful house, but I would no longer trade it for my own.  I now know that the someone(s) inside are the real source of my interest.  Scraping by or filthy rich, little house or big house, I have someone.  Many, in fact.  And if I continue with my suspicions, I suspect you do, too.  Celebrate with me, if you have even one person who loves you.  And read this poem any time the world tricks you into thinking you are poor.  Especially if you are living paycheck-to-paycheck in a little house at Christmastime...

If all the world were mine to plunder

I'd be content with just one town,

And in that town, one house alone,

And in that house, one single room,

And in that room, one cot only,

For there, asleep, is the one I love.

-Ancient Sanskrit Poem 

Dear God the Father, Thank you for sending Baby Jesus in His humanity.  Thank you, Mary, for saying "Yes".  Thank you, Joseph, for stepping in and stepping up.  Thank you, Jesus, for being born in a stable.  Not in a mansion.  Not in your own little house.  Not even a room in the inn.  Thank you for showing us that "love grows best in little houses".  Strengthen us as we guard our eyes, that we may not look away from the blessings in our life for any reason, least of all to look longingly at ways you've blessed another.  Please give us the grace to be that someone who strives to make the effort to love, and add beauty to the lives of those around us.  Thank you for those who do this continually, and for their example.  Please be with those who don't have even one by whom they know they are loved.  Let them be known and sought after.  Thank you for the wealth you've given us in those we love.  You know we would not trade them for any amount of money.  God bless us all - the poor who are poor, the poor who are rich, the rich who are rich, and the rich who are poor.  Amen.

Your Cross Is You

"Remember, you are only an instrument.  Not yours to decide how or when or where you act.  I plan all that.  Make yourself very fit to do My work.  All that hinders your activity must be cured.

Mine is the Cross on which the burdens of the world are laid.  How foolish is any one of My disciples who seeks to bear his own burdens, when there is only one place for them - My Cross.

It is like a weary man on a hot and dusty road, bearing a heavy load, when all plans have been made for its carriage.  The road, the scenery, flowers, beauty around - all are lost.

But, My children, you may think I did say, "Take up your cross daily and follow Me."

Yes, but the cross given to each one of you is only a cross provided on which you can crucify the self of yours that hinders progress and Joy, and prevents the flow through your being of My invigorating Life and Spirit.

Listen to Me, love Me, joy in Me.  Rejoice."

Jesus, in God Calling

Today, in my women's study, On The Christian Meaning of Suffering, we reflected on the life of a woman named (Saint) Gianna Beretta Molla, who voluntarily gave her life at age 40 for her unborn child.  Upon discovering a large ovarian cyst during her second month of pregnancy, she refused an abortion or complete hysterectomy, both of which would have spared her life at the expense of her child's.  Instead, she chose surgical removal of the cyst, which would not compromise the baby, but would leave her vulnerable to further complications.  "A few days before the birth, anticipating that the delivery might be dangerous, she said to her husband, "If you must decide between me and the child, do not hesitate:  choose the child - I insist on it.  Save him!" She had a healthy baby girl and died one week later.  She already had 3 children, ages 6, 5, and 3. 

Our room full of mothers took a collective deep breath, and followed it with "Well, she must have known her family would take good care of her children..., But...".  We admired her conviction but felt reasonably sure we lacked the same.  "I don't know if I could do it." echoed around the room.  There was a palpable weighing of consciences and the discomfort which always follows coming up short.

In the conversation that followed, we discussed our awareness of God's grace, and the fact that it only accompanies real situations.  Most of us have not been given that grace, because that situation is not our own.  Abandonment to Divine Providence offers the perfect advice at this uncomfortable juncture. "If it [the soul] should feel neither attraction nor grace to do those things that make the saints so much admired, it must, in justice to itself, say, 'God has willed it thus for the saints, but not for me.'"

We are all called to shoulder different crosses because we are unique, and the part of ourselves that "hinders progress and Joy" is what needs to be crucified.  However, most of us focus our attention outwardly, instead of focusing on what needs to change within.  We live in fear and wait for the next big cross to be lashed to our back.

 Etty Hillesum, a 29-year-old writer who died in Auschwitz, said, "Man suffers most through his fear of suffering."  "Reality is something one shoulders together with all the suffering that goes with it...But the idea of suffering (which is not the reality, for real suffering is always fruitful and can turn life into a precious thing) must be destroyed.  And if you destroy the ideas behind which life lies imprisoned as behind bars, then you liberate your true life, its real mainsprings, and you will also have the strength to bear real suffering, your own and the world's."

We throw away our peace in times of calm, when all is well.  We feel justified in skimming over the joys of today because we're "waiting for the other shoe to drop".  We want to be ready!  We're not sure for what, but we want to be ready. 

Instead of borrowing suffering, let's borrow a page from the diary of Sister Faustina, "I regard the time of peace as a time of preparation of victory..."

The Lord has already carried His Cross.  He is proven.  He is calling us to follow Him.  "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 16:24-25).  Let's climb out from under our cross, and get on it.  It's the only way we can be like Him, and it's a lot easier for Him to carry.

Dear God of All That Is Good, Thank you for the gorgeous weather and so many opportunities to experience You.  Thank you for God Calling, and continually revealing Yourself and Your plan to us.  Thank you for the examples of the saints, and people who model heroic charity and courage.  Thank you for the reminder that real suffering is always bearable, because Your grace is abundant in reality.  Help me to destroy imagined suffering in my life.

 Lord, please give me the courage to climb upon my cross.  Help me to see and know those things that hinder my progress and Joy, and to do whatever is necessary to remove them.  Please give me and all others who are pursuing You, the grace of knowing when we are comparing our relationship with You to someone else's relationship with You, and spare us the confusion and feelings of inferiority that come with that comparison.  Thank You for making our burdens light and for the rest we find when we come to You.  Amen.

Small Crosses Are Still Crosses

Have you ever beat yourself up because you have had a bad day, but it doesn't even begin to compare to someone else's bad day?  How about an example? 

Your Bad Day Scenarios:   You woke up late.  One of the kids had a stomach bug.  You stubbed your toe.  You forgot where you parked.  Someone said something mean to you.  You couldn't get anything done.  An important file was deleted from your computer, etc...

Someone else's Worse, Bad day Scenarios:  They threw up from latest round of chemo.  They can't stop crying because they lost someone they loved.  They are paralyzed and waited for someone to get them out of bed, but they didn't come.   They spent the day in the Surgery or ICU waiting room, etc...

If you're like me, you have felt ashamed for being in the first group, especially if you knew of someone in the second group.

However, as hard as I've tried to imagine being in the shoes of those who are suffering in big ways, I cannot stay there;  Not because I don't want to, but because my real life pulls me out.  I still have people who need me (and they let me know by saying my name a lot!), things I have to do, and all of the emotions that come with that.  I have come to the conclusion that you cannot live in someone else's reality (for very long).

Even though we can't stay long, we should enter another's reality as often as possible; especially, if they are suffering in more obvious ways than we are.  We need to love and encourage them.  We also bring their perspective back into our own lives, and gain tremendous gratitude for things we've previously taken for granted.

In the Apostolate for Holy Motherhood, the Christ Child says:  Rejoice in your trials; they are setting you free from the bonds of slavery to sin...All sin must be purified from the soul before a soul can stand before the throne of God in Heaven...Do not fight the cross, rather accept it as the glory it truly is...Fear nothing that unites you to Me, such as your trials and crosses, rather fear only what which separates you from Me, such as pleasures and indulgences of the flesh.  Pray for strength and courage to carry your crosses, not to have them taken away when they are your means of purification or sanctification.  Although the mercy of God indeed includes the cures of many afflictions, it is only in those cases where I deem it as unnecessary for their salvation to carry that particular cross.  If a cross or trial is of great spiritual value, I will not remove it, and you should never wish that it were, for it may be the means of salvation of many, not only the individual soul.

Small crosses are still crosses.  It is important that we acknowledge the little sufferings in our lives, and not discredit them because of their size.  For most of us, carrying these little crosses with faith and love is our path to holiness.  For me, my crosses vary from chasing elusive quiet time, trying to meet the needs of those whose needs only seem to increase with every help given, not being appreciated, being treated with disrespect, moments of insecurity, having to discipline my boys when I'm angry (because I do not do this well), and enduring anything that adds disorder to my life.

I felt tremendous freedom when I realized that interrupted quiet/prayer time and the other things listed were suffering for me.  Small suffering?  Yes, comparatively speaking, but still suffering.  If we can allow ourselves to call our interruptions, disappointments, and delays "suffering", we will be much more likely to use them for good.  If you don't know how, I'm sure it would please Elizabeth Leseur if you used her prayers below:

To give my sufferings and prayers a supernatural intention.

Make of all my trials a work of expiation, reparation, and prayer; help me to practice complete renunciation and to preserve peace of heart.

Purify and transform me by this trial!  Perfect thy humble instrument!  Give me the only grace I desire:  to be Thine apostle with those who are dear to me, with the souls that Thou hast placed in my path, and other souls, too, distant and unknown, for whom my prayers and suffering will obtain from Thee salvation.

Dear God, It is hard even to write it, but thank you for my trials.  They are small in comparison to many, but they are mine.  Show me how to use my trials for good, for eternity.  You give each of us exactly what we need to reach Heaven.  Help us not to minimize our own suffering, lest we overlook it as being useless.  Help us alleviate the suffering of others, according to Your will.  Lord, please give us the strength and courage to carry our crosses, whatever they may be, and open our eyes to the truth that what you've assigned to us, is what is best for our souls.  Please take away our desire to be freed from all crosses at any expense.  Open our hearts and teach us how to be graceful, while uncomfortable under the weight of the cross.  Amen.

Not Measuring Up

All women have "feminine genius".  A phrase coined by Pope John Paul II, which "speaks to woman's capacity to make room for 'the other'.  This capacity manifests itself in four different areas:  receptivity, sensitivity, generosity, and maternity." (as summarized in Endow study guide).  As woman, we are more naturally others-focused than our male counterparts.  If this seems unfair, consider for a moment, who sends birthday cards in your house?  I realize there are exceptions, as there always are, but we'll focus on the majority.

This beautiful gift of receptivity, sensitivity, and making room for the other, however, can sometimes morph into something very ugly.  Comparison.  It should be listed with the seven deadly sins.  Why?  Because the two fruits of comparing ourselves to another are rotten and result in many spiritual deaths!  If we compare ourselves to another, and find that we come up short, we focus on those things in ourselves which are deficient for way too long, and consequently squelch what is good in us.  Anytime we turn our back on our Creator to focus on the created (ourselves), we are sinning!  We are turning from the Greatest Good to a lesser good. 

The other rotten fruit born of comparison is pride.  With a clear "comparison victory" in hand, we rest easy, knowing that at least we're "better" than so and so, at least in doing or being "such and such".

I don't remember who said it, but I'm pretty sure she was a saint, "If only we had faith, we would show goodwill to all creatures; we should cherish them and be interiorly grateful to them as serving, by God's will, for our perfection."

So, what are we supposed to do if we compare ourselves to others without being aware of it?  I'm glad you asked, because we're all in this group!

We need to become aware of it.  When you realize you are doing it, STOP.  If your tendency is to focus on what is good in another (and bad in yourself), make a mental list of your own good qualities.  If your tendency is to focus on what is bad in another (and what is good in yourself), make a list of their good qualities.

If looking at Facebook, or People magazine, or ___________, leads you into the comparison trap, cut it out of your life.  It's not worth it! 

There will always be things in ourselves that need to be worked on.  It is by God's design.  These things bring humility - The golden ticket for admission into Heaven.  We must balance acceptance of self and our need for change carefully.  Matthew Kelly says it well, "We must approach this place of balance between accepting ourselves for who we are and challenging ourselves to be all we are capable of being like one would approach a high-spirited animal - calmly and slowly.

In order for us promote woman and her God-given dignity, we must make a conscious effort to stop tearing her down.  And that includes yourself, too!

Please forward this to your women friends!  We are in this together!!!

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the beautiful gift of woman!  Thank you for her feminine genius!  Lord, please guard her against the temptation of comparing herself negatively or advantageously to others.  Please give us eyes to see and hearts to know when we are doing this.  Help us look to You only and embrace all others as a help on our journey.  Help us only to see what is good in others and also what is good in ourselves.  Help us to approach those things that need improvement, calmly and slowly.  We cannot carry our confidence in you too far.  Thank you.  Amen.