"Remember, you are only an instrument. Not yours to decide how or when or where you act. I plan all that. Make yourself very fit to do My work. All that hinders your activity must be cured.
Mine is the Cross on which the burdens of the world are laid. How foolish is any one of My disciples who seeks to bear his own burdens, when there is only one place for them - My Cross.
It is like a weary man on a hot and dusty road, bearing a heavy load, when all plans have been made for its carriage. The road, the scenery, flowers, beauty around - all are lost.
But, My children, you may think I did say, "Take up your cross daily and follow Me."
Yes, but the cross given to each one of you is only a cross provided on which you can crucify the self of yours that hinders progress and Joy, and prevents the flow through your being of My invigorating Life and Spirit.
Listen to Me, love Me, joy in Me. Rejoice."
Jesus, in God Calling
Today, in my women's study, On The Christian Meaning of Suffering, we reflected on the life of a woman named (Saint) Gianna Beretta Molla, who voluntarily gave her life at age 40 for her unborn child. Upon discovering a large ovarian cyst during her second month of pregnancy, she refused an abortion or complete hysterectomy, both of which would have spared her life at the expense of her child's. Instead, she chose surgical removal of the cyst, which would not compromise the baby, but would leave her vulnerable to further complications. "A few days before the birth, anticipating that the delivery might be dangerous, she said to her husband, "If you must decide between me and the child, do not hesitate: choose the child - I insist on it. Save him!" She had a healthy baby girl and died one week later. She already had 3 children, ages 6, 5, and 3.
Our room full of mothers took a collective deep breath, and followed it with "Well, she must have known her family would take good care of her children..., But...". We admired her conviction but felt reasonably sure we lacked the same. "I don't know if I could do it." echoed around the room. There was a palpable weighing of consciences and the discomfort which always follows coming up short.
In the conversation that followed, we discussed our awareness of God's grace, and the fact that it only accompanies real situations. Most of us have not been given that grace, because that situation is not our own. Abandonment to Divine Providence offers the perfect advice at this uncomfortable juncture. "If it [the soul] should feel neither attraction nor grace to do those things that make the saints so much admired, it must, in justice to itself, say, 'God has willed it thus for the saints, but not for me.'"
We are all called to shoulder different crosses because we are unique, and the part of ourselves that "hinders progress and Joy" is what needs to be crucified. However, most of us focus our attention outwardly, instead of focusing on what needs to change within. We live in fear and wait for the next big cross to be lashed to our back.
Etty Hillesum, a 29-year-old writer who died in Auschwitz, said, "Man suffers most through his fear of suffering." "Reality is something one shoulders together with all the suffering that goes with it...But the idea of suffering (which is not the reality, for real suffering is always fruitful and can turn life into a precious thing) must be destroyed. And if you destroy the ideas behind which life lies imprisoned as behind bars, then you liberate your true life, its real mainsprings, and you will also have the strength to bear real suffering, your own and the world's."
We throw away our peace in times of calm, when all is well. We feel justified in skimming over the joys of today because we're "waiting for the other shoe to drop". We want to be ready! We're not sure for what, but we want to be ready.
Instead of borrowing suffering, let's borrow a page from the diary of Sister Faustina, "I regard the time of peace as a time of preparation of victory..."
The Lord has already carried His Cross. He is proven. He is calling us to follow Him. "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 16:24-25). Let's climb out from under our cross, and get on it. It's the only way we can be like Him, and it's a lot easier for Him to carry.
Dear God of All That Is Good, Thank you for the gorgeous weather and so many opportunities to experience You. Thank you for God Calling, and continually revealing Yourself and Your plan to us. Thank you for the examples of the saints, and people who model heroic charity and courage. Thank you for the reminder that real suffering is always bearable, because Your grace is abundant in reality. Help me to destroy imagined suffering in my life.
Lord, please give me the courage to climb upon my cross. Help me to see and know those things that hinder my progress and Joy, and to do whatever is necessary to remove them. Please give me and all others who are pursuing You, the grace of knowing when we are comparing our relationship with You to someone else's relationship with You, and spare us the confusion and feelings of inferiority that come with that comparison. Thank You for making our burdens light and for the rest we find when we come to You. Amen.
Showing posts with label Self-improvement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-improvement. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Four Supremely Important Questions
"Redemption, salvation for every individual, consists in doing the will of God, no more and no less." Fr. Walter Ciszek, He Leadeth Me
Redemption and salvation are THE two most important things for any human life. Consequently, it is supremely important to understand what the will of God looks like in our daily lives, if that is the means to obtain THE two most important things.
But, "It's hard to know what God wants!" Right?
Wrong.
According to Fr. John Devlin (one of the retreat masters from my silent retreat), "We must choose between the reign of Christ (loving God and others) and the reign of the devil (whatever increases self and creates distance from God)."
Luke 16:13 and Matthew 6:24 tell us, "No one can serve two masters." Fr. John agrees, yet points out the reality in our daily lives. "Sometimes, we serve two masters within the same hour." Can you identify with this? For most of us, we are constantly choosing self or battling to resist. We often have an internal struggle on our hands.
He reminded us that after following the Ten Commandments, fulfilling the duties of our state-in-life (spouse, parent, single, religious) is our primary pathway to holiness. As good as other opportunities and activities are, they must not interfere with the calling we have already received, and the duties which accompany that calling.
So, a few practical questions are very helpful as we navigate our daily lives:
1. Who am I serving?
2. Will this get me closer to Heaven?
3. Am I doing what I should be doing right now?
4. Is there anything better that I should be doing?
I have found the answers to these questions, throughout a day's time, to be very illuminating. Since returning from my retreat and pondering these questions, I have changed several things in my life that previously I did habitually and unconsciously. Specifically:
1. I silenced the text alert on my phone, so I am not continually being distracted by it, and interrupting what I have already determined needs to be done. (Instead, I check it and catch up in a quiet moment when I am not otherwise engaged).
2. I took Facebook off of my phone. Way too easy to kill a minute, or 5, or 10, several times a day. Now, I only get on Facebook when I intend to, because it requires me to plop in front of the computer (which I don't like to do).
3. I stopped checking blog statistics in between posts. I am writing for God, and to God I am leaving the results. I was "stealing time" for something that belongs to God anyway.
4. I am keeping one day commitment-free and limiting the length of other engagements, so that my schedule reflects that my family is my first priority, after God. I was not doing anything to safeguard the time that is necessary to fulfill the duties relating to my state-in-life, as a wife and mother: Housecleaning, planning well for meals, jumping on the trampoline, building Legos, and just "being"...
God can also lead us by the circumstances of any given moment. Often, what we should do next demands to be done, and involves no thought at all. However, Fr. John reminds us, "We do not answer to the circumstances of our lives. We answer to the Lord."
"He [God] writes His own Gospel in the hearts of the just. All their actions, every moment of their lives, are the Gospel of the Holy Spirit. The souls of the saints are the paper, their sufferings and actions, the ink. The Holy Spirit with the pen of His power writes a living Gospel, but a Gospel that cannot be read until it has left the press of this life, and has been published on the day of eternity. Oh! great history! grand book written by the Holy Spirit in this present time! It is still in the press. There is never a day when the type is not arranged, when the ink is not applied, or the pages are not primed." Jean Pierre de Caussade, Abandonment to Divine Providence
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this sunny day, time with the women in my women's group this morning, priests who devote themselves to You for the salvation of souls, and for any clarity we gain on our salvation journey. Thank you for extended quiet where You are most easily heard, and for all of the lights, graces, and consolations You bestowed upon me during those 3 days of silence.
Lord, please help me to be honest with myself, so that I may be honest with You and others. Help me to know myself well, so that I may cling to You ever more tightly, and to my own pride, less and less. Thank you for being so gentle with me, and revealing areas of weakness in times of abundant grace. I love You. Amen.
Redemption and salvation are THE two most important things for any human life. Consequently, it is supremely important to understand what the will of God looks like in our daily lives, if that is the means to obtain THE two most important things.
But, "It's hard to know what God wants!" Right?
Wrong.
According to Fr. John Devlin (one of the retreat masters from my silent retreat), "We must choose between the reign of Christ (loving God and others) and the reign of the devil (whatever increases self and creates distance from God)."
Luke 16:13 and Matthew 6:24 tell us, "No one can serve two masters." Fr. John agrees, yet points out the reality in our daily lives. "Sometimes, we serve two masters within the same hour." Can you identify with this? For most of us, we are constantly choosing self or battling to resist. We often have an internal struggle on our hands.
He reminded us that after following the Ten Commandments, fulfilling the duties of our state-in-life (spouse, parent, single, religious) is our primary pathway to holiness. As good as other opportunities and activities are, they must not interfere with the calling we have already received, and the duties which accompany that calling.
So, a few practical questions are very helpful as we navigate our daily lives:
1. Who am I serving?
2. Will this get me closer to Heaven?
3. Am I doing what I should be doing right now?
4. Is there anything better that I should be doing?
I have found the answers to these questions, throughout a day's time, to be very illuminating. Since returning from my retreat and pondering these questions, I have changed several things in my life that previously I did habitually and unconsciously. Specifically:
1. I silenced the text alert on my phone, so I am not continually being distracted by it, and interrupting what I have already determined needs to be done. (Instead, I check it and catch up in a quiet moment when I am not otherwise engaged).
2. I took Facebook off of my phone. Way too easy to kill a minute, or 5, or 10, several times a day. Now, I only get on Facebook when I intend to, because it requires me to plop in front of the computer (which I don't like to do).
3. I stopped checking blog statistics in between posts. I am writing for God, and to God I am leaving the results. I was "stealing time" for something that belongs to God anyway.
4. I am keeping one day commitment-free and limiting the length of other engagements, so that my schedule reflects that my family is my first priority, after God. I was not doing anything to safeguard the time that is necessary to fulfill the duties relating to my state-in-life, as a wife and mother: Housecleaning, planning well for meals, jumping on the trampoline, building Legos, and just "being"...
God can also lead us by the circumstances of any given moment. Often, what we should do next demands to be done, and involves no thought at all. However, Fr. John reminds us, "We do not answer to the circumstances of our lives. We answer to the Lord."
"He [God] writes His own Gospel in the hearts of the just. All their actions, every moment of their lives, are the Gospel of the Holy Spirit. The souls of the saints are the paper, their sufferings and actions, the ink. The Holy Spirit with the pen of His power writes a living Gospel, but a Gospel that cannot be read until it has left the press of this life, and has been published on the day of eternity. Oh! great history! grand book written by the Holy Spirit in this present time! It is still in the press. There is never a day when the type is not arranged, when the ink is not applied, or the pages are not primed." Jean Pierre de Caussade, Abandonment to Divine Providence
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this sunny day, time with the women in my women's group this morning, priests who devote themselves to You for the salvation of souls, and for any clarity we gain on our salvation journey. Thank you for extended quiet where You are most easily heard, and for all of the lights, graces, and consolations You bestowed upon me during those 3 days of silence.
Lord, please help me to be honest with myself, so that I may be honest with You and others. Help me to know myself well, so that I may cling to You ever more tightly, and to my own pride, less and less. Thank you for being so gentle with me, and revealing areas of weakness in times of abundant grace. I love You. Amen.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
What To Bury in A New Year
Happy New Year! There's nothing like an official fresh start. It's true that every moment of every day offers the same opportunity to begin again, but sometimes the obvious helps us observe the reality.
Normally, I feel very reflective this time of year and already have a list of things I want to improve or change. So far, the list is short:
1. Exercise (Still trying to figure out the plan here, as I cancelled my gym membership a few months ago. It required me to drag my 3-year-old out of the house every day of the week, which just isn't fair). I also tried putting my tennis shoes on and walking out of the house with a jump rope in my hand, as I saw my boys off to school. That worked for awhile... Probably need to be praying for the desire on this one, because right now, I have none.
2. Make it to daily Mass once a week.
3. Re-eliminate soda. Stick to water and coffee.
4. Make a menu and use it - avoid the "make dinner with whatever is on hand" scenario.
One of my favorite garage sale book finds of the year, God Calling, is a little red hardbound book, written anonymously by two old, poor, suffering women, to whom God revealed Himself. They recorded His words to them, in a daily meditation format. Today's is entitled Between the Years:
~Our Lord and our God. We joy in Thee. Without Thy Help we could not face unafraid the year before us.~
I stand between the years. The Light of My Presence is flung across the year to come-the radiance of the Sun of Righteousness. Backward, over the past year, is My Shadow thrown, hiding trouble and sorrow and disappointment.
Dwell not on the past-only on the present. Only use the past as the trees use My Sunlight to absorb it, to make from it in after days the warming fire-rays. So store only the blessings from Me, the Light of the World. Encourage yourselves by the thought of these.
Bury every fear of the future, of poverty for those dear to you, of suffering, of loss. Bury all thought of unkindness and bitterness, all your dislikes, your resentments, your sense of failure, your disappointment in others and in yourselves, your gloom, your despondency, and let us leave them all, buried, and go forward to a new and risen life.
Remember that you must not see as the world sees. I hold the year in My Hands-in trust for you. But I shall guide you one day at a time.
Leave the rest with Me. You must not anticipate the gift by fears or thoughts of the days ahead.
And for each day I shall supply the wisdom and the strength.
Dear God, Thank you for a new day, a new year, and keeping us safe through the night. Please help me to do everything you command here. Help me to remain in "today". I leave tomorrow to You. Please give me the courage, desire, strength, and love to do Your will. I love You. Amen.
Normally, I feel very reflective this time of year and already have a list of things I want to improve or change. So far, the list is short:
1. Exercise (Still trying to figure out the plan here, as I cancelled my gym membership a few months ago. It required me to drag my 3-year-old out of the house every day of the week, which just isn't fair). I also tried putting my tennis shoes on and walking out of the house with a jump rope in my hand, as I saw my boys off to school. That worked for awhile... Probably need to be praying for the desire on this one, because right now, I have none.
2. Make it to daily Mass once a week.
3. Re-eliminate soda. Stick to water and coffee.
4. Make a menu and use it - avoid the "make dinner with whatever is on hand" scenario.
One of my favorite garage sale book finds of the year, God Calling, is a little red hardbound book, written anonymously by two old, poor, suffering women, to whom God revealed Himself. They recorded His words to them, in a daily meditation format. Today's is entitled Between the Years:
~Our Lord and our God. We joy in Thee. Without Thy Help we could not face unafraid the year before us.~
I stand between the years. The Light of My Presence is flung across the year to come-the radiance of the Sun of Righteousness. Backward, over the past year, is My Shadow thrown, hiding trouble and sorrow and disappointment.
Dwell not on the past-only on the present. Only use the past as the trees use My Sunlight to absorb it, to make from it in after days the warming fire-rays. So store only the blessings from Me, the Light of the World. Encourage yourselves by the thought of these.
Bury every fear of the future, of poverty for those dear to you, of suffering, of loss. Bury all thought of unkindness and bitterness, all your dislikes, your resentments, your sense of failure, your disappointment in others and in yourselves, your gloom, your despondency, and let us leave them all, buried, and go forward to a new and risen life.
Remember that you must not see as the world sees. I hold the year in My Hands-in trust for you. But I shall guide you one day at a time.
Leave the rest with Me. You must not anticipate the gift by fears or thoughts of the days ahead.
And for each day I shall supply the wisdom and the strength.
Dear God, Thank you for a new day, a new year, and keeping us safe through the night. Please help me to do everything you command here. Help me to remain in "today". I leave tomorrow to You. Please give me the courage, desire, strength, and love to do Your will. I love You. Amen.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Not Measuring Up
All women have "feminine genius". A phrase coined by Pope John Paul II, which "speaks to woman's capacity to make room for 'the other'. This capacity manifests itself in four different areas: receptivity, sensitivity, generosity, and maternity." (as summarized in Endow study guide). As woman, we are more naturally others-focused than our male counterparts. If this seems unfair, consider for a moment, who sends birthday cards in your house? I realize there are exceptions, as there always are, but we'll focus on the majority.
This beautiful gift of receptivity, sensitivity, and making room for the other, however, can sometimes morph into something very ugly. Comparison. It should be listed with the seven deadly sins. Why? Because the two fruits of comparing ourselves to another are rotten and result in many spiritual deaths! If we compare ourselves to another, and find that we come up short, we focus on those things in ourselves which are deficient for way too long, and consequently squelch what is good in us. Anytime we turn our back on our Creator to focus on the created (ourselves), we are sinning! We are turning from the Greatest Good to a lesser good.
The other rotten fruit born of comparison is pride. With a clear "comparison victory" in hand, we rest easy, knowing that at least we're "better" than so and so, at least in doing or being "such and such".
I don't remember who said it, but I'm pretty sure she was a saint, "If only we had faith, we would show goodwill to all creatures; we should cherish them and be interiorly grateful to them as serving, by God's will, for our perfection."
So, what are we supposed to do if we compare ourselves to others without being aware of it? I'm glad you asked, because we're all in this group!
We need to become aware of it. When you realize you are doing it, STOP. If your tendency is to focus on what is good in another (and bad in yourself), make a mental list of your own good qualities. If your tendency is to focus on what is bad in another (and what is good in yourself), make a list of their good qualities.
If looking at Facebook, or People magazine, or ___________, leads you into the comparison trap, cut it out of your life. It's not worth it!
There will always be things in ourselves that need to be worked on. It is by God's design. These things bring humility - The golden ticket for admission into Heaven. We must balance acceptance of self and our need for change carefully. Matthew Kelly says it well, "We must approach this place of balance between accepting ourselves for who we are and challenging ourselves to be all we are capable of being like one would approach a high-spirited animal - calmly and slowly.
In order for us promote woman and her God-given dignity, we must make a conscious effort to stop tearing her down. And that includes yourself, too!
Please forward this to your women friends! We are in this together!!!
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the beautiful gift of woman! Thank you for her feminine genius! Lord, please guard her against the temptation of comparing herself negatively or advantageously to others. Please give us eyes to see and hearts to know when we are doing this. Help us look to You only and embrace all others as a help on our journey. Help us only to see what is good in others and also what is good in ourselves. Help us to approach those things that need improvement, calmly and slowly. We cannot carry our confidence in you too far. Thank you. Amen.
This beautiful gift of receptivity, sensitivity, and making room for the other, however, can sometimes morph into something very ugly. Comparison. It should be listed with the seven deadly sins. Why? Because the two fruits of comparing ourselves to another are rotten and result in many spiritual deaths! If we compare ourselves to another, and find that we come up short, we focus on those things in ourselves which are deficient for way too long, and consequently squelch what is good in us. Anytime we turn our back on our Creator to focus on the created (ourselves), we are sinning! We are turning from the Greatest Good to a lesser good.
The other rotten fruit born of comparison is pride. With a clear "comparison victory" in hand, we rest easy, knowing that at least we're "better" than so and so, at least in doing or being "such and such".
I don't remember who said it, but I'm pretty sure she was a saint, "If only we had faith, we would show goodwill to all creatures; we should cherish them and be interiorly grateful to them as serving, by God's will, for our perfection."
So, what are we supposed to do if we compare ourselves to others without being aware of it? I'm glad you asked, because we're all in this group!
We need to become aware of it. When you realize you are doing it, STOP. If your tendency is to focus on what is good in another (and bad in yourself), make a mental list of your own good qualities. If your tendency is to focus on what is bad in another (and what is good in yourself), make a list of their good qualities.
If looking at Facebook, or People magazine, or ___________, leads you into the comparison trap, cut it out of your life. It's not worth it!
There will always be things in ourselves that need to be worked on. It is by God's design. These things bring humility - The golden ticket for admission into Heaven. We must balance acceptance of self and our need for change carefully. Matthew Kelly says it well, "We must approach this place of balance between accepting ourselves for who we are and challenging ourselves to be all we are capable of being like one would approach a high-spirited animal - calmly and slowly.
In order for us promote woman and her God-given dignity, we must make a conscious effort to stop tearing her down. And that includes yourself, too!
Please forward this to your women friends! We are in this together!!!
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the beautiful gift of woman! Thank you for her feminine genius! Lord, please guard her against the temptation of comparing herself negatively or advantageously to others. Please give us eyes to see and hearts to know when we are doing this. Help us look to You only and embrace all others as a help on our journey. Help us only to see what is good in others and also what is good in ourselves. Help us to approach those things that need improvement, calmly and slowly. We cannot carry our confidence in you too far. Thank you. Amen.
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