Plug Your Ears

I didn't get up early for my prayer time this morning, so I sat down to pray after I got the big boys off to school.  I realized I was just going through the motions, and that the noise coming from the TV in the other room was "helping" me go through the motions.  In hindsight, I could have asked my son to turn the TV down, but I didn't think of that, so I just plugged my ears. 

Instant transformation. 

I could hear the air going into my lungs and immediately remembered the quietude I dwelled in during my 3-day-silent retreat.   A silence where I "heard" God speaking throughout.  Not with an audible voice, but rather a movement of my heart - an inspiration, conviction, or idea, accompanied with the energy that comes with "I have a great idea!", and palpable peace. 

Daily, I create silence in my home or my car, but often find my brain to be very noisy with to-do lists, menus, and whatever activity is on tap for the day.  Prolonged silence is the best way for me be quiet enough to listen well.  Unfortunately, that only happens once a year for this lady.  Otherwise, I get an hour of quiet in Adoration every week, but that, too, is such a short time.  I want more.

I'm going to try to remember this "power" silence method.  I think plugging your ears, and listening to the sound of your own inhalation and exhalation, is the best reminder that the most important things in life are not seen nor heard.  Without the unconscious silent breath, we cease to live.  Without our silent and unseen souls, we become zombies.  Without the "silent sound" or "still, small voice" of God, we are lost. 

"Then the Lord said:  Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord - the Lord will pass by.  There was a strong and violent wind rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the Lord - but the Lord was not in the wind; after the wind, an earthquake - but the Lord was not in the earthquake; after the earthquake, fire - but the Lord was not in the fire; after the fire, a light silent sound*. 

When he heart this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.  A voice said to him, Why are you here, Elijah?" I Kings 19: 11-12 (NAB)

*also translated as a still, small voice and tiny, whispering sound

This is the final week of Lent, and the week of our Lord's Passion, Death, and Resurrection.  I feel like I usually do this time of year, which is, I haven't been a good enough companion to Him during this "desert time".  I want to keep in step with Him between today and Friday, when He takes His final step to lay down on the Cross.  If you see me this week, and I'm plugging my ears, you'll know why -- I'm trying to listen to Him.

Dear Jesus,  Thank you for giving Your life for me.  Please forgive me for perpetually abandoning You.  I want to accompany You during this Holy Week.  I want to remember You at all times.  Please help me to remember the importance of silence in my relationship with You.  Help me to hear You when You have something to say.  I don't want to miss it.  I want to return love for love.  I know You have not and cannot fail me, please give me the grace not to fail You.  I love You.  Amen.