What Jesus Saw When His Sweat Became Like Drops of Blood Falling on the Ground

Today is Holy Thursday.  The day we remember and commemorate the Last Supper, the Institution of the Eucharist, and our Lord's Agony in the Garden.  For me, it is easy to glide over our Lord's agony in the garden.  It is covered in a single paragraph, and the details are scanty.  What we do know about it offers very little visually, except for "his sweat became like drops of blood falling on the ground" (Luke 22:44). There is nothing in Scripture that describes what Jesus actually saw or felt during that hour and a half.

We know there are a lot of gaps in Scripture, and often find in the Catholic faith, incredible detail to fill those gaps, made known in personal revelations by Christ Himself.  As a Catholic, it is not required that we believe these accounts, nor is it encouraged to consider them as historical fact.  The Church simply makes a thorough assessment of what has revealed, and offers approval (not to be confused with promotion), if there is nothing that contradicts Church teaching (which began when Christ gave Peter the keys to the kingdom).

With that, there was a woman named Anne Catherine Emmerich who lived from 1774-1824.  She bore the physical wounds of Christ, called stigmata, in her own body.  Many, many details of the spiritual life and the Lord's Passion were revealed to her.  In the Dolorous Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, she commits 27 pages to what was revealed to her of Christ's agony.  I am going to boil it way down, because I have to communicate something of what she's seen to you.  I am going to summarize where possible, and quote where it is impossible.

The first agony in the garden:  Jesus saw and bore all sins, of all humanity, for all time.  Then, satan tempted Him with all potential (not actual) sin in His life, where human suffering was caused because of His actions:

"satan reproached Jesus with having been the cause of the massacre of the Innocents, as well as of the sufferings of his parents in Egypt, with not having saved John the Baptist from death, with having brought disunion into families, protected men of despicable character, refused to cure sick persons, injured the inhabitants of Gergesa by permitting men possessed by the devil to overturn their vats, and demons to make swine cast themselves into the sea; with having deserted his family, and squandered the property of others; in one word satan, in the hopes of causing Jesus to waver, suggested to him every thought by which he would have tempted at the hour of death an ordinary mortal who might have performed all these actions without a superhuman intention...

The second agony:  Jesus "beheld the enormity of the debt of sin that He was going to pay and the suffering required to satisfy Divine Justice" while harassed and tempted by satan, "Takest thou even this sin upon thyself?  Art thou willing to bear its penalty?  Art thou prepared to satisfy for all these sins?"

The third agony:  "Jesus having victoriously resisted all these assaults by his entire and absolute submission to the will of His Heavenly Father, a succession of new and terrifying visions were presented before his eyes, and that feeling of doubt and anxiety which a man on the point of making some great sacrifice always experiences, arose in the soul of our Lord, as he asked himself the tremendous question:  'And what good will result from this sacrifice?'  Then a most awful picture of the future was displayed before his eyes and overwhelmed his tender heart with anguish...

The frightful visions of the future ingratitude of the men whose debt to Divine Justice he was taking upon himself, continued to become more and more vivid and tremendous.  Several times I heard him exclaim: 'O my Father, can I possibly suffer for so ungrateful a race?  O my Father, if this chalice may not pass from me, but I must drink it, thy will be done!'"

The soul of Jesus beheld all the future sufferings of his Apostles, disciples, and friends; after which he saw the primitive Church, numbering but a few souls in her fold at first, and then in proportion as her numbers increased, disturbed by the heresies and schisms breaking out among her children, who repeated the sin of Adam by pride and disobedience.  He saw the tepidity, malice, and corruption of an infinite number of Christians, the lies and deceptions of proud teachers, all the sacrileges of wicked priests, the fatal consequences of each sin, and the abomination of desolation in the kingdom of God, in the sanctuary of those ungrateful human beings whom he was about to redeem with his blood at the cost of unspeakable sufferings.

The scandals of all ages, down to the present day and even to the end of the world...

It was also revealed why Peter, James, and John were chosen to stay and watch with Him:
After Jesus woke them from their sleep, John saw the condition He was in and said, 'Master, what has befallen thee?  Must I call the other disciples?  Ought we to take flight?'  Jesus answered him: 'Were I to live, teach, and perform miracles for thirty-three years longer, that would not suffice for the accomplishment of what must be fulfilled before this time tomorrow.  Call not the eight; I did not bring them hither, because they could not see me thus agonizing without being scandalized; they would yield to temptation, forget much of the past, and lose their confidence in me.  But you who have seen the Son of Man transfigured, may also see him under a cloud, and in dereliction of spirit; nevertheless, watch and pray, lest ye fall into temptation, for the spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak'...

Dear Jesus, I am sorry for my sins.  I am sorry for my ingratitude.  Please help me console Your Sacred Heart.  I will try to live my gratitude for Your sufferings and death in everything I do.  Please give me the grace never to offend You again.  I love You, Jesus.  Remember me when You come into Your Kingdom.  Amen.
 

Plug Your Ears

I didn't get up early for my prayer time this morning, so I sat down to pray after I got the big boys off to school.  I realized I was just going through the motions, and that the noise coming from the TV in the other room was "helping" me go through the motions.  In hindsight, I could have asked my son to turn the TV down, but I didn't think of that, so I just plugged my ears. 

Instant transformation. 

I could hear the air going into my lungs and immediately remembered the quietude I dwelled in during my 3-day-silent retreat.   A silence where I "heard" God speaking throughout.  Not with an audible voice, but rather a movement of my heart - an inspiration, conviction, or idea, accompanied with the energy that comes with "I have a great idea!", and palpable peace. 

Daily, I create silence in my home or my car, but often find my brain to be very noisy with to-do lists, menus, and whatever activity is on tap for the day.  Prolonged silence is the best way for me be quiet enough to listen well.  Unfortunately, that only happens once a year for this lady.  Otherwise, I get an hour of quiet in Adoration every week, but that, too, is such a short time.  I want more.

I'm going to try to remember this "power" silence method.  I think plugging your ears, and listening to the sound of your own inhalation and exhalation, is the best reminder that the most important things in life are not seen nor heard.  Without the unconscious silent breath, we cease to live.  Without our silent and unseen souls, we become zombies.  Without the "silent sound" or "still, small voice" of God, we are lost. 

"Then the Lord said:  Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord - the Lord will pass by.  There was a strong and violent wind rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the Lord - but the Lord was not in the wind; after the wind, an earthquake - but the Lord was not in the earthquake; after the earthquake, fire - but the Lord was not in the fire; after the fire, a light silent sound*. 

When he heart this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.  A voice said to him, Why are you here, Elijah?" I Kings 19: 11-12 (NAB)

*also translated as a still, small voice and tiny, whispering sound

This is the final week of Lent, and the week of our Lord's Passion, Death, and Resurrection.  I feel like I usually do this time of year, which is, I haven't been a good enough companion to Him during this "desert time".  I want to keep in step with Him between today and Friday, when He takes His final step to lay down on the Cross.  If you see me this week, and I'm plugging my ears, you'll know why -- I'm trying to listen to Him.

Dear Jesus,  Thank you for giving Your life for me.  Please forgive me for perpetually abandoning You.  I want to accompany You during this Holy Week.  I want to remember You at all times.  Please help me to remember the importance of silence in my relationship with You.  Help me to hear You when You have something to say.  I don't want to miss it.  I want to return love for love.  I know You have not and cannot fail me, please give me the grace not to fail You.  I love You.  Amen. 

Fasting for Lent

Yesterday, our Lord told us, “The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast.”  

Do we fast because our Lord has been taken away from us? 

In Matthew 28:20, Jesus says, “And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”  We know this when we meet Him in the Sacraments.  So, why should we fast?

We should fast to make room for our Lord.   We fill ourselves up with the stuff of the world – food, alcohol, Facebook, video games, and fleeting pleasures of every kind.  But, Mother Teresa says, “Even God Himself cannot fill what is already full.”

 During Lent, we are called to enter the desert with our Lord, to know and love Him more.  We have the privilege of carrying Him in our very bodies and souls.  Let us not force our Lord to travel by another way because there is no room for Him.  He already knows what that feels like.  It was the first experience of His humanity.

Dear Heavenly Father,  Thank you for this Lenten season.  A time to go deeper with You.  Thank you for the example of those who suffer and unite their suffering to Your own.  Help us to know what needs to be left at the desert's edge, those things which You will not be bound up with.  Help us provide ample room for You, so that You may reside comfortably within us.  Help us to imitate Your humility and spare You the pain of repeating the circumstances of Your birth.  Lord, never permit me to be separated from You.  Amen. 

Where is Jesus?!

March 28, 2012 - Adoration Chapel

Jesus is covered with a purple cloth.  I am so thankful He is present in the Host!  It grieves me to not be able to see Him, but only see where His head is hanging forward under that cloth. 

Oh, Jesus!  How awful were those hours after your death, before your resurrection?!  The world was hell - the world without You in it.  Maybe the only thing that kept it from being hell was Your mother and the love You had for each other. 

If You died at 3pm on Good Friday and rose, let's say at 6am on Sunday, the world was at a loss for 33 hours?!  You were 33 when You died!  Were You dead for one hour for each year of Your life?!  What time did You leave the tomb, Lord? 

How did it feel to all of the people who read Scripture, who spent their entire lives awaiting the Messiah, when they realized they just murdered Him?!  How can you kill the man who is going to save your life?!  How do you feel after that has happened?

Lord, I wonder if Your generosity turns us away.  You are always available to us.  We know that, so we come seldom.  If You deprived us from time to time, we would probably walk for miles and climb mountains to get to You.  To receive You.  To gaze upon You in the form of bread or hanging on the Cross.  How depraved are we?!!  The greater Your availability and Mercy, the less we acknowledge You, or receive it, or long for it.

Lord, please never let me fall into this lukewarm pit.  I have a great fire burning for You.  I have zeal for You because You put it there.  All I did, was let You in. 

Please channel this fire.  I am already Yours.  Here I am, Lord.  Where do You want me to bring Your fire?!  You don't need me, but You've got me!  Use me!

I want to console You!  I want to please You!  I want to make You smile!  I want to contribute to Your joy!  Please show me how. 

(After a time in silent prayer, it came to me) - My goal is to engage people spiritually...To ask questions, so we can live the questions, so we can become active in our thoughts about Jesus and pursue loving Him more.

"Holy meditation should be your chief occupation; to speak with God should be your foremost office.  Whatever you see or hear should elevate you to God."
-Blessed Henry Suso