Happy Father's Day to you and yours! It's been a good one for us. Sleeping in, Mass, and eating out make for a pretty great day. I also emailed my Dad the links to my posts where I wrote about him (A "Rough" Life - A Tribute to my Grandma, Uncle, and my Dad). He doesn't do blogs, but it occurred to me that he might better understand how much I love and respect him if he could read what I had written. He was deeply moved, printed it off, and put it in his Bible. Happy Fathers Day, Dad.
Two weeks ago today, my husband (and the father of my children) got a concussion when he and his skateboard parted ways. I was at the swimming pool (roughly 100 yards away) when it happened. My oldest son came and told me "Dad has a concussion, but he's fine. He's up and walking around". I clambered out of the pool to go see what in the world was going on.
As I was gathering our stuff, my husband walked into the pool, saying he thinks he has a concussion, was seeing stars, and half of his vision was blurry. He wasn't really sure what happened or if he lost consciousness, so I sat him down on the pool steps and went to investigate. What I found was a pool of blood in the bottom of the skate bowl. At the time, I couldn't find any witnesses, so I assumed he was knocked out because he laid there long enough to make a puddle of blood (from his elbow) the size of my footprints.
I did my best to wash the blood away and we loaded up to go home. He had virtually no memory of the day and began to ask a series of questions, which went something like this..."What happened? Was I awesome? Did anyone see? Was I unconscious? What happened? Was I awesome? Did anyone see? Was I unconscious? What happened? Was I awesome? Did anyone see? Was I unconscious? What happened? Was I awesome? Did anyone see? Was I unconscious?..."
You get the idea. I worked for an ambulance service for 6 years, so I knew he had a concussion at least, and was worried he might have bleeding in his brain. I waited for a couple of hours to see if his symptoms (repetitive questioning and memory loss) would improve, but they persisted.
To make a long story short, we ended up in the ER. He had a CAT scan which showed no bleeding on his brain and he got three stitches in his elbow. He took the following day off of work for "brain rest". Aside from a sore neck and elbow, and a little light sensitivity, he was back to good.
But, then I wasn't so good. The more I thought about what happened, the more I had my own series of thoughts that went something like this...
"It freaks me out that my husband was lying unconscious (or something close to it) 100 yards away from me and I didn't have any idea. I guess I always thought that if something happened to him I would somehow know. A gut check or something. Nope. Nothin'. What if it was worse? What if his brain had bled, and he had a stroke or an aneurysm? What if he had broken his neck? If he died, financially we would be able to make it, but if he's disabled and it didn't happen at work, we'd have nothing. I am totally dependent on him and his good health. This vulnerability feels like crap. Should I get a full-time job?..."
This went on for about two days. I was pulling back emotionally and he knew it. He was telling me not to dwell on what could of happened, and that I couldn't love him any less because of some dumb accident. But, I was trying to. I don't want to be physically, emotionally, psychologically, and financially dependent on someone who could check out at any minute! I told him he was a liability, and he was quick to let me know that I was one, too. Then, he said something to the effect of, that's what happens when you get married...
Hmmm....
Good point. He would be in as much of a fix if something happened to me, as I would be if something happened to him. Not for a paycheck, but for someone to run the household and take care of the kiddos, and all of the other things wives do.
After this conversation, and by God's grace, I started to realize that the only problem I had was a trust problem. In the unusual circumstance of seeing my husband incapacitated, I withdrew my trust from God, and put it in myself. Only, I quickly realized how drastically short I came from being able to provide the solution that I was trusting myself for. If this whole scenario was a test for my trust in God, I'd have a Big 'ol "F" over here...
As Providence would have it, one of the Mass readings during this time was from Tobit 2:9-14. In the story, Tobit became blind for four years after some birds pooped on his eyes. (I'm not making this up!) Eventually, his wife weaved cloth and provided for the family, and life went on...
Duh.
God has provided for me for 35 years. Some of those years, he provided for me through my parents. Others, I provided for myself. For the last 10 years, my husband has provided for me and our family. If something were to happen to him (God forbid!), God would continue to provide for me. Yes, it would look different. Very, very different. But, I would have what I need. Just like I always have.
It is a paradox to be sure, but our security is our vulnerability. It doesn't matter if I like it. It's just the way it is.
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat [or drink], or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Matthew 6:25-27
Dear Heavenly Father, Happy Father's Day!!! Thank you for being The Father of fathers, King of kings, and Lord of lords! Thank you for fathers who help us believe in You and Your love for us. Thank you for my husband and the way my kids will emulate him even before they recognize his greatness. Thank you for his health and the big lesson in humility and trust, when it was compromised, even for a short time. Please bless him with good health and a long life.
Lord, please draw near to those who don't know what a good father is. Make Yourself known to them! Please grant the grace of forgiveness to those who need it.
Abba, I love You. Thank You for loving us first! Make us love You more and more. Amen.
Showing posts with label Worry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Worry. Show all posts
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
A Swingset, a Slide, and a Lie
Jesus told Sister Faustina, "The greatest obstacles to holiness are discouragement and worry."
If you need to be encouraged to drop discouragement and worry like a hot rock, consider the following bits of wisdom:
"Don't give in to discouragement...If you are discouraged, it is a sign of pride because it shows you trust in your own powers. Never bother about people's opinions. Be humble and you will never be disturbed. It is very difficult in practice because we all want to see the result of our work. Leave it to Jesus." ~Bl. Mother Teresa of Calcutta
"Wherever there is discouragement and despair, we are sure to discover a deficiency of faith in God and a failure in patience and humility." ~Endow study guide
"All the reasons that cause us to lose our sense of peace are bad reasons." ~Jacques Phillipe, Searching For and Maintaining Peace
"If we are discouraged or have lost our peace, "We don't believe that He [God] is capable of utilizing everything for our good and that NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, would He leave us lacking in the essentials - lacking anything that would permit us to love more. To grow or to enrich one's spiritual life is to learn to love. Many of the circumstances that I consider damaging could, in fact, be for me, IF I HAD MORE FAITH, precious opportunities to love more: to be more patient, humble, gentle, merciful, and to abandon myself more into the hands of God." ~Jacques Phillipe, Searching For and Maintaining Peace
Today's Gospel reading (John 20:11-18) was about Mary Magdalene weeping at the tomb, after Jesus had risen. The angels and the Lord himself, asked her, "'Woman, why are you weeping?' She has come to her own fatalistic conclusion about what happened to Christ - 'They have taken my Lord, and I don't know where they laid him' - and it is from this pessimism that she must be converted...Something Greater than our sorrow is now at work in the world. It is the reason why, even in our weeping, we bend over and peer into the tomb, full of expectation." ~Magnificat
We are an Easter people. We have the joy of the risen Christ! We cannot allow discouragement and worry to rob us of it. Like Mary Magdalene, we cannot be caught crying outside the empty tomb! We know where our Lord is. No one has taken Him. He has not been laid anywhere. He ascended into Heaven and is seated at the right hand of God, the Father Almighty. He is interceding for us, and we must not forget that. Ever.
No matter how dour our circumstances, we must reject the notion that we are justified in our discouragement and worry. We are not! They are simply the fruit of too-little faith. We can understand discouragement and worry best as a swing set, a slide, and a lie. A playground for human weakness, where the Truth is stuck outside the fence.
Dear Risen Christ, Savior, and Redeemer, Thank you for the rain today. Thank you for the empty tomb. Please forgive our temptation to discouragement and worry. Please give us the grace to remember You, Your intercession, and Your power in every circumstance. Please forgive our forgetfulness and lack of gratitude. Thank you for the example of Mary Magdalene - her great love, and her flawed humanity. Thank you for loving us, still. Amen.
If you need to be encouraged to drop discouragement and worry like a hot rock, consider the following bits of wisdom:
"Don't give in to discouragement...If you are discouraged, it is a sign of pride because it shows you trust in your own powers. Never bother about people's opinions. Be humble and you will never be disturbed. It is very difficult in practice because we all want to see the result of our work. Leave it to Jesus." ~Bl. Mother Teresa of Calcutta
"Wherever there is discouragement and despair, we are sure to discover a deficiency of faith in God and a failure in patience and humility." ~Endow study guide
"All the reasons that cause us to lose our sense of peace are bad reasons." ~Jacques Phillipe, Searching For and Maintaining Peace
"If we are discouraged or have lost our peace, "We don't believe that He [God] is capable of utilizing everything for our good and that NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, would He leave us lacking in the essentials - lacking anything that would permit us to love more. To grow or to enrich one's spiritual life is to learn to love. Many of the circumstances that I consider damaging could, in fact, be for me, IF I HAD MORE FAITH, precious opportunities to love more: to be more patient, humble, gentle, merciful, and to abandon myself more into the hands of God." ~Jacques Phillipe, Searching For and Maintaining Peace
Today's Gospel reading (John 20:11-18) was about Mary Magdalene weeping at the tomb, after Jesus had risen. The angels and the Lord himself, asked her, "'Woman, why are you weeping?' She has come to her own fatalistic conclusion about what happened to Christ - 'They have taken my Lord, and I don't know where they laid him' - and it is from this pessimism that she must be converted...Something Greater than our sorrow is now at work in the world. It is the reason why, even in our weeping, we bend over and peer into the tomb, full of expectation." ~Magnificat
We are an Easter people. We have the joy of the risen Christ! We cannot allow discouragement and worry to rob us of it. Like Mary Magdalene, we cannot be caught crying outside the empty tomb! We know where our Lord is. No one has taken Him. He has not been laid anywhere. He ascended into Heaven and is seated at the right hand of God, the Father Almighty. He is interceding for us, and we must not forget that. Ever.
No matter how dour our circumstances, we must reject the notion that we are justified in our discouragement and worry. We are not! They are simply the fruit of too-little faith. We can understand discouragement and worry best as a swing set, a slide, and a lie. A playground for human weakness, where the Truth is stuck outside the fence.
Dear Risen Christ, Savior, and Redeemer, Thank you for the rain today. Thank you for the empty tomb. Please forgive our temptation to discouragement and worry. Please give us the grace to remember You, Your intercession, and Your power in every circumstance. Please forgive our forgetfulness and lack of gratitude. Thank you for the example of Mary Magdalene - her great love, and her flawed humanity. Thank you for loving us, still. Amen.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
A New Heart - Part I
The theme for the Women's Day of Reflection that I attended over the weekend was "A New Heart". I'm not sure why, but attendance was down this year, and everyone should hear what we heard! Because I wish you were there, and want you to know that Christ loves you, and encourage you in your walk with Him, I'll do my best to recap here...
A new heart also will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and I will give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes, and you shall keep my ordinances, and do them. And you shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers and you shall be my people and I will be your God.
~Ezekiel 36:26-29
For his first talk, Fr. Scott Reilly, LC led us toward the goal of understanding that Jesus is in love with each one of us. Although, we will never comprehend fully the heart of Jesus. That's what Heaven is about - discovering the heart of Jesus."
1. "Jesus is close to us, because love is always loving. It never takes a break."
2. "Jesus' love is not in a vacuum. It is not oblivious. However, this is a perpetual temptation for us. We enjoy this temptation because we - circle around it, consider it, nibble on it, get hooked on it, and finally embrace the lie that Jesus doesn't care."
3. Jesus commands us, "DON'T LET YOUR HEARTS BE TROUBLED." It is not a suggestion. We cannot connect with Jesus if we are troubled. We need to give our troubles to him. How do we know when we've done that? We won't "have" them anymore. We have peace. We must not let our hearts be troubled, because it is a choice. Worrying is a choice, and it is a sin against hope.
4. When Christ touches us, as he did when he healed Simon Peter's mother, we rise up with love and energy, and we serve.
5. Jesus didn't heal people en masse. Every single person is different. Their needs are different. He touches us individually.
6. When we think (or say to ourselves), "God doesn't hear my prayer", we need to follow it with "Buck up, girl! That's from the devil!"
For his second talk, Fr. Scott explored three aspects of Jesus' heart.
1. Simplicity. Christ has a simple heart. He can answer every cry with, "I forgive you." and "I love you." "We don't owe anything to Jesus. He paid the debt. He loves us unconditionally. We cannot destroy or diminish His love. This love is independent of our merits or demerits." With Christ, there is no second-guessing. No complications. No conniving. An understanding of eternity brings simplicity. What is anything compared with eternity? Simplicity is about depth and is a shield that protects us from the complication of satan. We only need one thing. A TRUST button. Push it and doors will open to you.
2. Gratitude. We celebrate extremes in our culture. Let's practice extreme gratitude. When we're grateful, we're much more aware of God. When we're aware of God, He can act.
3. Courage. John 13 - Jesus' agony in the garden. Knowing all that was to come, He got up and met Judas and the soldiers, and said to them, "Whom are you looking for?" Courage comes from prayer. People who pray are the most courageous people on earth. All things are possible with God. We need to pray at the beginning of each day and nourish our hearts with the Living Word of God, the Bible. This will fortify our hearts. If we don't do this, we can easily be fed with the stuff of the world.
If we can embrace the new heart that Jesus continually offers, the conversations in your life may go something like this (based on conversation between Claudia Procula and her servant girl, Dinah):
C: "You've changed. You're different."
D: "Yes. I've changed."
C: "What happened?"
D: "Jesus gave me a new heart."
In my next post, I will review four ways to honor and preserve the gift of a new heart...
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the Women's Day of Reflection. Thank you for Fr. Scott. Thank you for Linda Frost-Clark and her insightful portrayal of Claudia, Pontius Pilate's wife. Thank you for all of the Regnum Christi women who worked tirelessly to deliver this day for You and for souls. Thank you for letting me participate, absorb, and contribute in moments, days, and weekends filled with spiritual nourishment. They are food for my soul. I love You and I am eternally grateful for the glimpses of You I have already received and for those to come. Amen.
A new heart also will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and I will give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes, and you shall keep my ordinances, and do them. And you shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers and you shall be my people and I will be your God.
~Ezekiel 36:26-29
For his first talk, Fr. Scott Reilly, LC led us toward the goal of understanding that Jesus is in love with each one of us. Although, we will never comprehend fully the heart of Jesus. That's what Heaven is about - discovering the heart of Jesus."
1. "Jesus is close to us, because love is always loving. It never takes a break."
2. "Jesus' love is not in a vacuum. It is not oblivious. However, this is a perpetual temptation for us. We enjoy this temptation because we - circle around it, consider it, nibble on it, get hooked on it, and finally embrace the lie that Jesus doesn't care."
3. Jesus commands us, "DON'T LET YOUR HEARTS BE TROUBLED." It is not a suggestion. We cannot connect with Jesus if we are troubled. We need to give our troubles to him. How do we know when we've done that? We won't "have" them anymore. We have peace. We must not let our hearts be troubled, because it is a choice. Worrying is a choice, and it is a sin against hope.
4. When Christ touches us, as he did when he healed Simon Peter's mother, we rise up with love and energy, and we serve.
5. Jesus didn't heal people en masse. Every single person is different. Their needs are different. He touches us individually.
6. When we think (or say to ourselves), "God doesn't hear my prayer", we need to follow it with "Buck up, girl! That's from the devil!"
For his second talk, Fr. Scott explored three aspects of Jesus' heart.
1. Simplicity. Christ has a simple heart. He can answer every cry with, "I forgive you." and "I love you." "We don't owe anything to Jesus. He paid the debt. He loves us unconditionally. We cannot destroy or diminish His love. This love is independent of our merits or demerits." With Christ, there is no second-guessing. No complications. No conniving. An understanding of eternity brings simplicity. What is anything compared with eternity? Simplicity is about depth and is a shield that protects us from the complication of satan. We only need one thing. A TRUST button. Push it and doors will open to you.
2. Gratitude. We celebrate extremes in our culture. Let's practice extreme gratitude. When we're grateful, we're much more aware of God. When we're aware of God, He can act.
3. Courage. John 13 - Jesus' agony in the garden. Knowing all that was to come, He got up and met Judas and the soldiers, and said to them, "Whom are you looking for?" Courage comes from prayer. People who pray are the most courageous people on earth. All things are possible with God. We need to pray at the beginning of each day and nourish our hearts with the Living Word of God, the Bible. This will fortify our hearts. If we don't do this, we can easily be fed with the stuff of the world.
If we can embrace the new heart that Jesus continually offers, the conversations in your life may go something like this (based on conversation between Claudia Procula and her servant girl, Dinah):
C: "You've changed. You're different."
D: "Yes. I've changed."
C: "What happened?"
D: "Jesus gave me a new heart."
In my next post, I will review four ways to honor and preserve the gift of a new heart...
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the Women's Day of Reflection. Thank you for Fr. Scott. Thank you for Linda Frost-Clark and her insightful portrayal of Claudia, Pontius Pilate's wife. Thank you for all of the Regnum Christi women who worked tirelessly to deliver this day for You and for souls. Thank you for letting me participate, absorb, and contribute in moments, days, and weekends filled with spiritual nourishment. They are food for my soul. I love You and I am eternally grateful for the glimpses of You I have already received and for those to come. Amen.
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