Confrontation for Christ

I've been praying for the courage to be bold for Christ for two years now.  Today, I got some. 

My husband had to work today, so I was at Mass with my three boys.  One section over, slightly in front of where we were sitting, were two beautiful, college-aged girls.  The beautiful girls were wearing shirts that left their backs and shoulders completely exposed, animal-print bra showing, and at best, a skirt that landed mid-thigh.

I was shocked at their lack of discretion, but also remembered being ignorant of affecting others with my clothing choices in my youth.  I found them to be a continual distraction through Mass, and felt more and more certain that I was being called to "fraternally correct" these girls.  So, after receiving communion, I wrote them a little note that went something like this:

Beautiful Girls,

When I was your age, I did not know that bare skin was a distraction and obstacle for men.  (I wish someone had told me).  In an effort to help them praise and worship their God, please consider dressing more consciously for Mass.

I only communicate this for love of God, your beautiful selves, and the Body of Christ.

Thank you for your consideration. (end)

I exited my pew and handed it to one of the girls in the aisle, saying "Here's something for your consideration."  She looked at me suspiciously, and I walked away. 

I felt nervous, but was pretty sure I had done the right thing by all.  Until they caught up with me in the parking lot as I was getting into my car (they were already in theirs).  Then, they let me have it.  Their comments went something like...

"So, you had to write it down;  You couldn't tell us to our face?  You must not have been paying attention in Mass if you were writing.  You were too busy judging us.  Some women can't wear whatever they want.  We can wear whatever we want.  This is why some people don't even come to Mass.  You are the only one who had a problem with it.  No one else said anything..." 

I listened patiently (although I was shaking inside).  I tried to explain that I thought they were beautiful, but that the men had to work twice as hard to pray and worship because of the distraction.  They told me how fake I was being.  So, I walked away, and they peeled out of the parking lot. 

Yuck. 

Suddenly, I wasn't feeling so confident in my decision.

My boys were already in the car and privy to all that transpired.  "Mom, were those girls being mean to you?!"  I said "Yes.  I wrote them a note encouraging them to dress more respectfully when they come to God's house, and that made them mad."

I was expecting a chorus of disapproval because my boys hate confrontation (like me!).  But, my oldest said, "Mom, I think God would be very happy for what you did."  Whoa.  He took my breath away.  This is the kid who finds fault with almost everything I do, so the weight of his timely compliment was tremendous.  I was and am extremely grateful, and made sure to let him know.

I was aching for some reassurance, but am really trying to lean on God alone this Lenten season, so I said a little prayer.  "Lord, I really want to share this with somebody, but I want to trust in You more.  So, if you want me to talk to someone about it, please have them call me." 

Crickets.  That's what I was afraid of. 

Fortunately, we had a wonderful afternoon at a friend's house, celebrating her baby girl's baptism, and I was able to keep mum on the whole thing.  I did share with my husband when we got home, and he said he was proud of his "soldier".  I thought he was going to be embarrassed, but instead just laughed that I pulled the "When I was your age" card.  So, I'm feeling better about it as the night winds down, but might reconsider praying for courage tomorrow. ;)

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for another gorgeous day, for new souls added to the Christian family, for great-grandmothers who have 10 children, 29 grandchildren, and their wits.  Thank you for the example of the Christian families who are open to life.  Thank you for the Eucharist and the priests who make celebrating Mass and receiving You possible.  Thank you for answering our prayers.

Lord, please bless those beautiful girls and all who are tempted to use their God-given beauty to draw others to themselves.  Please convict them of Your love, and grant them wisdom, prudence, and modesty.  Please help them overlook my faults, so that they may know the good that You intend for them.

Lord, I hope I pleased You today, as I made three people very uncomfortable.  Lord, please continue to give me the courage to act for You, and out of love for my brothers and sisters.  I believe it is true that you call us to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.  Please grant me wisdom and charity, Lord.  I never want to be a stumbling block for those who are seeking You.  Please help me to rest in Your opinion, alone.  Amen.  

Swimsuit Season

Swimsuit Season – May 5, 2012

I spent a good part of the last two days looking for a new swimming suit.  I’m frustrated and disgusted at the many, many skimpy choices and the almost non-existent selection of suits that you don’t have to worry about falling out of or waxing your bikini line.  I want to be comfortable in the water and toting my kids around.  I want to be able to bend over, or sit, or lie down without worrying about what somebody is going to see if they’re sitting at the right angle.   

Men are visual creatures.  I do not want to lead a man into the sin of lust because he can see me in my bra and underwear (basically).  Nor do I want other women leading my husband into this sin.  Out of respect for God, myself, my husband, other wives and their husbands, I don’t want to wear a swimming suit that screams “Look at me!”  Granted, I don’t want to be frumpy, either.  But, where is the happy medium here?! 

I am basically happy with my body size and shape, but the lack of modesty in swimming suits is becoming a cross for me.  For women who struggle with their weight or body image, I can only imagine.  We can’t keep our eyes closed (we have kids to watch, after all).  Should we just stay home?  A hot Texas summer with kids and no pool?  This option is too hot to even think about.  

If you’re with me on this, I propose we take a minute to inventory what we’ve got for swimwear.  Ask yourself, “What message am I sending by wearing this?”  If it’s not the message you want to send, maybe you can throw a t-shirt and some board shorts on over it.  In the meantime, I’ll be looking for the perfect modest (but, sporty) suit. 

Dear God, please help us understand the need for modesty.  Please give us the desire for it.  It is hard, Lord.  We want to be attractive because we want to be loved.  Please convict us of your love, that we may not clamor for it in unsuitable ways.  We are surrounded by a world that worships the human body.  It is one of your most awesome creations.  You have made it the temple of the Holy Spirit.  Help us to treat it with the respect it deserves, not as if it is a commodity or something to flaunt.  We are more than our bodies.  As Blessed Pope John Paul II says, “The problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the human person, it shows too little.”  

Thank you for our bodies, Lord.  Thank you for allowing us to use them to express our souls; To make visible what is invisible.  Please help us to honor You by respecting them.  Amen.