Saturday, July 14, 2012

When It Can't Come From You

Yesterday my oldest son had an opportunity to spend the day with about 40 other boys and a couple of priests, to learn about themselves and their faith, and having a blast doing it.  Sounds nice, right?  Yes, but it is so much more than nice!  If my son wasn't invited to participate in this experience, how else could I create it?  I couldn't.  Where else could he gather the fruit from a day like that?  Nowhere.  I neither have the know-how or desire to be able to pull something like that together.  This is not an experience he could have "made up" in a week or two if he missed this one.

So, why is it so important that he have this experience?  Because right now he is a boy who more easily believes in ghosts and aliens than in God.  Something about reading a few lines about ghosts in a non-fiction book is more convincing to him than the Bible, the Mass, etc...  The more opportunities I create to discuss God and/or godly things, the more resistant he seems to become.  I am learning that it cannot come from me.  Is it because he needs to learn these truths from his father, or another man, or his peers?  Is it because he is the oldest?  His brothers are very open-minded.  Is it because I haven't loved him well enough to trust what I am saying to him?  I don't know the answer, but I know what we need to do.

One of the priests said our children need 3 things to thrive in the spiritual life:
1.  Prayer
2.  Spiritual direction
3.  Retreats (like what he did yesterday)

I bought The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie O'Martian this morning, at the recommendation of my stepmom.  I am going to make sure that I don't fail him on Number 1!  As for the other two, I am going to make sure I keep informed of the opportunities available and take them as they come at

I was relaying some of this to my sister yesterday, and she said it well, speaking of her own experience, "I love it when other people can do my job."  I'm realizing a little more each day that I can't give them everything they need.  It really does take a village and I am so grateful that I know where the village is!!!   

I realize that I have been using most of my spiritual energy on myself - to get my prayer life in order and to make sure I have my priorities straight.  I pray for each one at the beginning of each day, but I don't pray with them, unless it is before meals or at bedtime.  I have made my prayer time just that, mine.  I am going to start inviting my boys into prayer at times when I have previously just done it on my own...Like praying the Angelus at noon and Divine Mercy chaplet at 3:00. 

I know that my sons are and will be my greatest contribution to this world.  I want to help them believe in God's love and to live in light of it, with the example of my life.

Dear Loving and Gracious Father, Thank you for Sonia, Steve, and the priests who poured themselves out to make yesterday's "Boy Day" happen.  Thank you for their gifts and their love.  Lord, please help me lead my boys to You.  Help me know when to push and when to pull back.  Lord, please prevent me from leading them away from You, always and forever.  Please grant me wisdom, patience, and love.  Please give me Your peace when I feel like I'm doing it all wrong.  Jesus, I trust in You.  Amen.

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