Yesterday is just one example among thousands of what a father might be doing on a Saturday, or any day. In this example, he’s examining the streamlet of water running down the curb and the patch of grass around the water meter that is greener than all the rest. He’s calling the City to see if this little situation is their’s or our’s. But “ours” really means “his” because I.know.nothing.
It’s ours. So… Lowe’s, water off, repairs, line cleared, water on, no hot water in the tub, water off, bathroom panel removed, water on, still no hot water, water off, glue extraction, polish tub knobs, water on, and we’re back in business.
I tell him thank you, and wonder how much I would have paid a plumber to do all of that. He’s sweaty and dirty and relieved it only took half of the day, and not the rest of it.
On this Father’s Day, I’m thinking about how fathers spend most of their time. A handful of words come to mind…Fixing. Providing. Teaching and Hiding (and Napping w.h.e.n.e.v.e.r. possible).
Fixing. Yesterday - water pipe. Last week - washing machine. Week before - neighbor’s bike tire. Before that, truck brakes. To do - Van upholstery, re-side the rest of the house, remodel bathroom.
Providing. Preparing to go to work. Time spent at work. Recovering from work. A friend once told me it is easy to forget that our husbands feel like they’ve been pulling a long train behind them all day when they walk through the door at night. I think she’s right.
Teaching. My boys love to imitate my husband yelling, “BOYS!” This is usually followed by some instruction on not leaving plates in the living room, or what it means to “clean the kitchen”, or how you put something back where you found it when you’re done using it, or some small detail about spray painting things, like PUT SOMETHING UNDER IT!
Hiding. Sometimes, fathers have to hide to get some time to themselves. The bathroom and garage are popular places. But, they’re good at hiding other things, too. Like little irritations, back pain, fear, fatigue, and how hard they are working.
Napping. Well-deserved, men. Nap away.
What is amazing to me, is that the two fathers in my life, my father and my husband, had no long-term in-house model. My husband was only 5-years-old when his Dad died. He dreamt he lived in the attic for some time afterward. My father’s in-house Dad was abusive or absent. And yet, these men continued to move forward through life like self-constructing Lego people. Observing the best of what they saw in the other men in their lives, and building those things into themselves. They are unrepeatable, irreplaceable, and so very.very.good.
Happy Father’s Day to my Lego Husband, my Lego Dad, and to all of you Dads out there. Thanks for being who you are, doing all that you do, and paying for dinner.
