The haircut.
It came up again tonight at the dinner table.
Nothing can make my eyes sting and shut down my ability to speak like the thought of it.
Ironic, because I wanted it to be cut so many times before now.
But not now.
When that hair is cut, I will see the man we are sending off to bootcamp. Our Marine. Off he will go after he graduates high school. Less than two months from now.
The long-haired boy that lives in our home will leave with short hair. He will be a visitor in our home from then on.
A Proud-parent-of-a-Marine sticker. I tried to explain all of the other options and he just looked at me with pity.
He was only 12, but it was already years in the making. If there was an opportunity to dress up, he already knew what he would be wearing. I think he is 9 here...
As his mother, I can only support his decision, and try to soak up the early mornings and late nights - when he is still of a mind to eat breakfast with his Mom, lay on my lap, and be tickled like the little boy he once was. I have countless pictures of these times, lest I forget...
When he was two-years-old, I came home from work to a little boy who had a haircut by his well-meaning Daddy. Little blond curls off and short hair on.
But I learned something. Surprise haircuts are bad (for me).
Another haircut is coming and I have to face it head on. Probably need to watch it happen. And cry.
But whenever it is, I hope not to be surprised.
It occurs to me that I have never dreaded something for so long. I'm pretty sure that makes me one of the lucky ones. There are a lot worse things than haircuts, of course.
God bless all who serve, their mothers, their fathers, their barbers, and all who love them.
Send him off for me, not on an apple boat that he liked as a snack as a young boy at my house, but an apple ship, with a sea of peanut butter and a pretzel flag.
ReplyDeleteOh Heidi, I will be holding your close in prayer and heart. I loved your story and this is exactly why I always wanted children. It did not happen for me however, my heart swells with your sweet sentimental story.
ReplyDeletePrayers for you and him, Heidi! Your Marine is a wonderful person and someone is going to be so lucky to get his beautiful hair to cover their heads. Will miss that sweet young man and his music!
ReplyDeleteI highly support you watching it happen. In fact, become part of the process! Maybe you can make the first swath with the clippers. Put gum in his hair then cut it out. Anything to imbalance the weightiness of it in your heart. (With his permission, of course!)
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