Just a few posts ago, in A Swingset, Slide, and a Lie, I wrote about dropping discouragement, and why it is a stumbling block in the spiritual life.
However, this morning, I had a holy hour with my Regnum Christi sisters, and realized in the quiet that I was discouraged. This in itself was discouraging, because I know better. After experiencing great powerlessness in my encounters over the past couple of days (Read Unfinished Business for details), God reminded me of a not-so-little something while we were praying the Glorious mysteries of the Rosary.
In Matthew 28:18, Jesus says, "All authority in Heaven and on earth has been given to me."
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Balm for my soul.
I'm not supposed to have more authority than what I have. I need to do what I am able to do, and then pray. Release the power of the One who has all authority.
More and more frequently, I am privy to lives that are disordered, for one reason or another. These are lives that overlap with mine, but that I have no power to change. It is not up to me. Seven people come to mind right off the bat, and none of them live under my roof.
If all goes according to plan, I will begin a program to become a spiritual director this fall. My life is going to increasingly contain the stories of those without bumper sticker solutions, or tidy endings. Lives with little black and white, and lots of gray. Discouragement, albeit temporary, must go. Today, I am reclaiming a positive attitude for Christ. A posture of powerlessness, failure and discouragement betrays what I know about being strongest when we are weakest.
My strength is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9
I have always been eager to tell others that "as long as you know you need Christ, you are right where you need to be." Today, I'm taking my own advice. Christ's power is being made perfect in me.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the rain and holy hours. Thank you for releasing us of the burden to make everything right. That's Your job. Help me to accept my limitations and rejoice in my weakness, where Your power is made perfect. Please forgive my temptation to discouragement, and relying on myself more than You rely on me. Please fill me with Your light and love, so that those you put in my path may see You in me. And love You more. Amen.
Thanks for your encouragement!!
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