Saturday, August 18, 2012

Crying Twice in the Same Day

It's been a weird day.  This morning after breakfast, we all loaded up to buy a new bed for my oldest son.  The youngest has had his own room since he was born and the two big boys have bunked since then.  We decided that the crib really needed to go and a real bed needed to replace it.  A 3-year-old shouldn't have his own room and a new big bed, so the oldest won out and everybody else shuffled a spot.  Middle to top and Little to bottom.  Everybody is happy.  Especially the oldest and youngest!  But, the middle will probably be happiest of all when his daddy puts up a new shelf, just for him. 

Anyway, after lunch Walker and I went to run a few errands.  On the way out, we stopped by a garage sale on the next street over to see what treasures we could find.  Sure enough, a belt for $.50, a couple of old prayer books, and a bunch of stainless steel butter knives, which is perfect because when we have company for dinner, I have to put the two we have in the middle of the table and we all share!  They apparently work great for digging in the yard and cutting stuff when you are too young to score a sharp knife.

All is well until I get back in the van to drive away.  My left knee is "frozen" in the position it landed in when I got in the car.  When I tried to move it up or down or sideways - excruciating pain.  Am I 100 years old?!  What the heck?  I can't really make sense of it, and my right leg is fine, so I drive the block back home and yell at my husband to see if he can help me out of the car.  Only when he tries, I really won't let him because everything he did (including make me laugh) hurt me, a lot.  So, I sat there sweating in the driver's seat for an hour or so and hesitantly decided I needed to go to the ER.  I cried like a baby when he and our neighbor put me in the backseat.

In the ER, the X-ray tech saved the day.  She had to SLOWLY straighten my leg out to get the x-rays.  On the fourth one, whatever it was that was in the wrong spot, moved back home!  Thank you, Jesus!  I went home with crutches, a referral to an orthopedic doctor, and a signed paper that said I will likely pay them a huge, but unknown amount of money, and they will hunt me down if I don't.  Now, I wish I would have let my husband just carry me in the house at the get-go, but it's a little late for that.

I quickly abandoned the crutches when I got home, as I'm pretty sure I was jamming my knee into the ground trying to get the timing right.  I'm glad I don't know how much I will pay for them, yet.  At least they can entertain three little boys.  So, I "eased" around, shuffling stuff from room to room and making dinner.

Normalcy seemed to return during the bath routine, as there was lots of water on the floor and standard territorial battles during brushing of teeth.  However, normalcy fell through the floor when I went to read my little guy his bedtime stories.  The rocking chair is in his old room (now his big brother's room) and he's settled into his Thomas sheets on the bottom bunk.  So, for lack of choices, I sit on the floor beside his bed and start to read Book number one.  The tears just start coming (like now).  I'm able to read through them, and he's none the wiser.  I'm not ready for the end of our rocking chair days.  Those times are my favorite of all times.  In a hopeful (and maybe a little desperate) moment, I asked him if he'd like to sit on my lap and finish the story.  He surprised me with a "Sure, I'll sit on your lap."  And when he sat down, he said "This is like a chair!"  Yes, like a chair.  I guess I don't have to quit the rocking chair cold turkey, but times are a'changin'.

I'd prefer not to cry twice in one day, but I'm thankful that I can.  (My grandma says her tears dried up a long time ago). 

Tears are the humble created water of my heart that corresponds to the powerful uncreated water of the Spirit's life in me.  Tears are perhaps the most rejuvenating and re-creating water of all, the evidence that I have allowed grace to melt the ice at the center of my being. - Erasmo Leiva-Merikakis

Dear Creator and Divine Physician, Thank you for creating me and fixing the things that are out of place.  Thank you for laps that are like chairs and for things that fade away instead of ending abruptly.  Thank you for your love and mercy and desire to be in communion with me, and all whom You have created.  Thank you for tears when our hearts spill over, with joy or grief, elation or despair.  You know us so well.  Help us to know You well, too.  I love You.  Amen.


  1. some days my eyes are like faucets. ...!! Wy wy is such a sweetie. My guess is he will sit in your lap quite a bit yet.

  2. Thanks, Caroline. The time is growing short!! I'm going to be soaking it up, you can be sure.