Thursday, May 28, 2015

Flooding Abounds

Unless you've been living under a rock, you probably know that parts of Texas have been flooding for weeks. Unless I know you personally, you probably don't know that my husband is a member of Texas Task Force One.  They are one of the main groups responsible for responding to the needs of our state in times such as these.

As the weeks pass on, and the devastation accrues, I'm finding a little flood damage within my own home, although we've never been close to the water's edge.

As wife to one of those heroic types, I have been placed in the proverbial backseat until further notice.  I've learned that I can live comfortably in this backseat for about two weeks. But, we are past that now and the dam of my needs is giving way.

While living with a general feeling of acceptance for what is, there are forceful and penetrating moments of desperation.  My husband's dependence upon my strength increases while my feeling of strength breaks down.  I'm a "quality timer" and operate under the assumption that time is love. This is not good when there is NO time.

Like a self-righteous financial institution, I decided that I had nothing else to give until he put something in.  Even in a day's time, this proved to erode all goodwill.

Being the practical girl that I am, I recognize that this equation doesn't work. At least not for right now or probably any time in the near future.  Like a real flood victim, I am forced quickly past my ideal.  

However, if I believe that God gives me everything I need for every moment, which I do...then I lack nothing.  If I need strength, then a source of strength is available to me.

As it was last night, it came in the form of unexpected song with another, preceded and followed by the love of a dear friend.

Today is a day of beginning again with a renewed confidence in God's provision.  Not only for me, but for all. Especially for those grieving for losses confirmed and those still missing.

Alongside this reality, I feel ashamed that my small suffering has not disappeared in the face of their great suffering.  I am sorry they can coexist. Perhaps you have mastered it better than I, but I have not yet learned how to stay in someone else's reality for very long.  Though, I continue to try.

Here's to you families of the missing and dead, and to the spouses of those working long and hard to recover them.  We send you our love, prayers, and our best mate. You may have them as long as you need.  May you find God's provision for you through those whom He sends. Amen.

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